


Violated

by ginamc



Series: Moving On Series [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Mating, Mind Meld, Multi, Polyfidelity, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Statutory Rape, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-11
Updated: 2013-09-16
Packaged: 2017-12-19 03:35:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 29
Words: 43,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/878950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ginamc/pseuds/ginamc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone’s past catches up with them eventually and often times when and how they least expect it. After Kirk is kidnapped and tortured during an away mission, Spock and Uhura becomes his caretakers, nursing him back to health. But Kirk’s captivity brings disturbing memories of his past boiling to the surface and the three face the challenge of caring for the psychological wounds as well as the physical ones.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The everyday victims of violence and rape.](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=The+everyday+victims+of+violence+and+rape.).
  * Inspired by [A Second Chance](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/24422) by ayesakara. 



> Also posted at Kirk/Spock Archive.

It had started out as a perfectly ordinary first contact mission. They’d been invited to a feast in their honor, all of the proper introductions had been made and by the end of the evening, he and Trensaw IV’s Head Minister had even been discussing Federation membership. Pleased with himself, Kirk had relaxed and had made the mistake of indulging in a little bit too much of the native wine (a toast at the Head Minister’s insistence). He’d only stepped outside for a moment to clear his head and hopefully rid himself of the oncoming nausea when he was attacked. It was dark, so naturally, he hadn’t gotten that good of a look at their faces. Alone and out-manned, he’d been knocked unconscious.

He’d awoken he wasn’t sure how many hours later in a prison cell. Shortly after, a man (or woman, he honestly didn’t know which) from a species Kirk didn’t recognize had proceeded to demand something from him in an obscure language that he couldn’t make any sense of. When he’d told he/she/it that he couldn’t understand, he’d received a sharp shock from a device that reminded him of a 22nd century cattle prod. As he’d gasped for breath, the alien had once again spat its demand at him in that same language. Again, he’d told it he didn’t speak its language, which had earned him another poke from the cattle prod. 

The alien did this for some time and in several sessions daily over the course of several days. Each day, Kirk grew weaker with the time between sessions becoming shorter and shorter and his daily rations of slop and water becoming less and less. After the last session, he actually sobbed, his chest heaving, though no tears fell. His body was too dehydrated to produce tears. He’d thought it couldn’t get any worse. But that was before this most recent session where he found himself naked and exposed to the alien’s leering gaze.

Kirk felt a lump form in his throat and shuddered, knowing what was about to happen. That look was the same one his uncle had given him right before...he shook the memories from his head, trying to focus on happier things. He knew from experience that he couldn’t stop what was about to happen, only try to escape it. 

In this case, his escape was into his own mind, which, thanks to his eidetic memory, recalled perfectly the details of the sun setting on the horizon. The waters of Lake Michigan lapped at the shore and the sand crunched beneath his feet as he walked the shoreline with Rae Lynn, the neighboring farmer’s daughter. She laughed gleefully as he heaved her over his shoulder, twirling them both until they were dizzy. 

He then set her down and kissed her passionately, fire racing through his veins as she caressed his naked arms and chest. Within moments, he had her on her back in the sand, making love to her as the gentle waves lapped at their heels. She called out his name as she climaxed and he followed soon after her, groaning her name into the still twilight.


	2. Chapter 2

“Jim!” the voice shouted insistently.

Groaning, Jim opened his eyes. As his eyes adjusted to the overwhelming brightness of the light, a man’s face came into view. It took him a minute to recognize his friend.

“Bones?” he rasped, moving to sit up.

A strong hand on his chest forced him back down to the biobed. His mind caught up and recognized the cool hand as belonging to Spock, his First Officer.

“Captain, you are unwell,” the Vulcan observed. “Remain still while the Doctor assesses your condition.”

Jim heard the familiar beeps of the tricorder as McCoy scanned his entire form. Satisfied, McCoy’s gaze locked with his, the expression he wore one of concern.

“How’re you feeling, kid?” he asked.

Jim grimaced, massaging his temples. “Other than feeling like a shuttle was dropped on my head, peachy.” There was hesitation in his friend’s movements. “How long was I out?”

McCoy swallowed roughly. “You’ve been in a medically induced coma for the better part of a week.”

Jim gaped. “A week?! What the hell happened?”

“You remember nothing?” Spock asked, his voice unusually soft and edged with what, if he was Human, Jim would have suspected to be distress.

“No,” he replied. “Seriously, just tell me, goddamnit! Stop pussyfooting around. What happened?”

“Jim,” McCoy murmured. “You were tortured and...raped.”

The latter word triggered flashes of memory that left Jim gasping for breath. He felt a hand on his shoulder and jerked away instinctively, the memories fading into the background. He glanced up at his CMO and First Officer to find both men cringing at his terrified reaction. He frowned and did a double take, but the moment his gaze focused on Spock’s face, he only saw a mask of calm. Certain now that he’d imagined it, he sighed.

“Sorry, Bones.”

McCoy shook his head. “Don’t worry about it, Jim. I don’t blame you after what you’ve been through.”

“Is he going to be all right?” a familiar feminine voice to his left asked.

Uhura. His gaze locked with hers and he smiled. “Worried about me, Lieutenant? How flattering.”

A weak smile spread across her lips. “Hell, no. It’s a lot of work to break in a new Captain and, as sure as I am that Spock is up to the task, it’s easier on everyone not to lose their CO.”

He saw through the bullshit in a nanosecond and laughed. “Good to know.” His eyes flicked to the foam cup in her hand. “Is that water? Because I’m thirsty as hell.”

Uhura shook her head. “Ice chips. Doctor’s orders.”

She filled the spoon she held with a few bits before placing it at Jim’s lips. He accepted them gratefully, the frozen water melting against the warmth of his tongue.

“Thanks.”

Nodding, she offered him another spoonful. McCoy stopped her at the fourth, worried that taking in too much after just waking up would make him sick.

“All right, everybody scram,” McCoy barked. “The kid needs his rest.”

Uhura leaned forward, brushing her lips against Jim’s cheek before whispering into his ear, “I’m glad you’re okay.”

She then exited the Medbay, leaving only Spock. McCoy had retreated into his office, presumably to write his report on the incident. Spock moved to leave as well, but Jim grabbed his arm, suddenly afraid to be alone.

“Stay,” he pleaded. “Please.”

Spock hesitated for only a moment before sliding into the chair beside the biobed. Jim’s grip relaxed and he sighed.

“Thanks,” he murmured. “I just--I really don’t want to be alone right now.”

An uneasy silence settled between them until Spock broke it. “Who is Rae Lynn?”

Jim frowned. “What?”

“You repeated her name several times before you awoke,” Spock explained.

“Just an old girlfriend,” he replied, a slight smile curving the corners of his lips.

Arching an eyebrow, Spock pressed further. “Your expression would indicate otherwise.”

Jim chuckled. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He paused. “I asked her to marry me that summer.”

Surprise flickered across the Vulcan’s face. “And her response?”

“No, obviously,” Jim bit out. “Something about how I was a nice guy and all, but she wasn’t ready to settle down yet. Married my best friend Greg three months later.”

“I’m sorry,” Spock replied automatically.

Jim shrugged. “Wasn’t meant to be, I guess.”

“Is that why you avoid committed relationships?”

Used to his friend’s bluntness, he added, “Maybe. Bones seems to think so. Love like that comes around once in a lifetime.”

Spock’s brows furrowed slightly. “Rest, Jim. I will be here when you awaken.”

Nodding, Jim closed his eyes and allowed Spock’s comforting presence to lull him to sleep.

* * *

Spock kept his promise, even going so far as to have a bowl of chicken broth ready when he opened his eyes. Jim grimaced at the salty taste of the liquid.

“I appreciate the thought, but it’s a bit much right now.”

The familiar arched eyebrow appeared. “You must eat, Jim, to regain your health.” Spock paused. “If you will allow me several moments, I will replicate something that I believe you might find more palatable at this time.”

Jim nodded and Spock returned a few moments later with a bowl of purple-colored liquid.

“What is it?”  
“Plomeek broth,” Spock replied. “Perhaps better suited to your current appetite than animal fat.”

Inhaling the aroma, Jim smiled. The scent was similar to vegetable soup with a slight exotic twist. “Smells great.” He tried a spoonful, noting that it wasn’t nearly as salty as the chicken broth. “Much better."

McCoy entered the Medbay at that moment, frowning. “What happened to the chicken broth I had Yeoman Rand bring from the Mess?”

Jim grinned sheepishly and Spock replied, “The Captain informed me that the sodium content wasn’t appealing, therefore I retrieved a nutritious substitute to take its place.”

“He needs protein, Spock,” McCoy chastised.

Spock arched an eyebrow. “This broth contains 17 grams of protein, the equivalent to a cup of Terran lentil beans, and 30 percent of the recommended daily intake for a male Human the Captain’s age. In fact, Doctor, Plomeek contains thrice the protein of a single serving of chicken broth and contains far less sodium, something I have heard you reprimanding the Captain regarding on multiple occasions.”

McCoy scowled at him and shook his head, then headed for his office muttering something about “green-blooded hobgoblins”.

Jim chuckled. “Wow. You out-doctored the Doctor.”

“Is the flavor adequate?” Spock asked.

Jim paused thoughtfully “It tastes different than the stuff you had me try that one day. What’s in it?”  
Spock arched a brow. “I altered the recipe to include a half-cup of heavy cream to increase the fat content to meet Human nutritional standards.”

“It tastes great,” Jim offered, grinning. “Thanks.”

“I am pleased you like it.”

Jim finished the broth, then set the empty bowl on the biobed beside him. “So is Bones planning on keeping me here for another week or can I go back to my quarters tonight?”

Spock opened his mouth to reply when McCoy interrupted him. “I guess you can go back to your quarters. But you hightail it back here the second you start feeling shitty. And I mean on the double. And you’re off duty for at least another 24 hours. You’ll be lucky if I let you on light duty after that.”

Jim frowned. “I’m fine, Bones. Really.”

“Bullshit, Jimmy,” McCoy ground out. “In fact, you’re off duty until you’re eating solid food again. And I’m coming by your quarters later to check on you.”

“Bones--” Jim sighed.

McCoy shook his head. “Don’t bother arguing, kid. I’m holding firm on this. You’ve been through hell and I’ll be damned if I let you back on duty until I’m sure you’re not going to end up right back in that damn bed. It nearly killed me the first time and there sure as hell isn’t going to be a second time on my watch.”

The furious CMO stormed from the room, leaving only Spock and Jim once again.

“I will accompany you to your quarters,” Spock offered.

Jim shook his head. “I’ve got it.”

Spock’s expression became unreadable. “It was not intended to be choice. I will do so whether you wish it or not.”

Glaring at him, Jim slid cautiously from the biobed. His knees gave slightly and he gasped in surprise at the cool touch of a hand steadying him. He felt a strange flicker in the back of his mind, but just as quickly as it had come, it was gone. He glanced at his First Officer to find the man’s expression slightly pinched. Mentally shaking the encounter from his mind, he slowly moved to exit the Medbay and step into the corridor with Spock right behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the confusion there. I meshed chapters to make them longer but forgot to remove the other bit so to clarify, chapters 2& 3 have been combined into one.


	3. Chapter 3

That evening in his quarters, Jim was surprised by well over a dozen visitors in succession, including Scotty, Sulu, Chekov and Carol. Since Jim was allergic to most flowering plants, they instead brought him get well gifts ranging from tea to a new novel to occupy him in his down time. As it drew closer to dinner, the visitors left until only Spock and Uhura remained. 

Much to Jim’s embarrassment, Spock insisted on helping him shower and dress in more comfortable clothing. “I can do it myself,” Jim snapped. “I’m not an invalid.”

Spock paused a moment before removing his hands and turning his back to his friend to give him a measure of privacy, while still refusing to leave him alone.

“Please notify me immediately if you require assistance in any way,” Spock murmured.

Jim felt a brief flicker of hurt, but dismissed it as his own guilt for snapping at his friend. “I’m sorry, Spock. I know you’re just trying to help.”

“Do not be, Jim. Were I in your position, I imagine I would not wish such intimacy either.”

He was right, Jim knew. His overreaction, though in part due to embarrassment at having a man see him naked and touch him in a way only his lovers did, was driven by his recent experiences and led to his instinctive fear of being touched so intimately.

“Spock?” Jim whispered. “I could--if you still want to help me, I’d appreciate it.”

Spock froze. “Are you certain, Jim? I don’t wish to cause you discomfort.” 

“I’m sure.”

* * *

Jim emerged approximately 15 minutes later fully dressed in sweats and a t-shirt to find several dishes laid out on his table with places set for three.

“What’s all this?” he asked, indicating the spread.

Uhura grinned. “Doctor McCoy said you were cleared to try some solid foods. Nothing too heavy, though.”

Jim recognized the plomeek broth from earlier and suddenly craved it like he hadn’t eaten it in forever. The three took their places at the table, filling their plates and bowls with varying delicacies (mostly vegetarian due to Spock’s preferences). Jim was surprised at how appetizing the Vulcan dishes were and even found himself discovering new favorites among them. Tea replaced his usual coffee (Doctor’s orders).

By the end of the meal, Jim felt like he could sleep for a week and couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so content with the company of friends and a good meal. He closed his eyes and smiled.

“That’s the best food I’ve had--well, ever,” he murmured. “Thanks, Uhura.”

The young Communications Officer smiled. “Don’t thank me. Spock did most of the work.”

Jim’s eyes snapped open and he eyed his First Officer, clearly surprised. “You made all of this?”

Spock nodded. “With Nyota’s assistance, of course.”

“Well, damn,” Jim chuckled. “I had no idea you could cook, Spock.”

A lovely green blush crept into the Vulcan’s cheeks. “My Mother taught me.”

Jim shook his head. “You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?”

Spock’s blush deepened, but he instead diverted the conversation. “If you are well enough, perhaps you would like to join me for a game of chess?”

“Sure,” Jim smiled. “I could use a challenge.”

Spock nodded and turned to Uhura, his gaze locking with hers. Jim shifted uncomfortably. There was an intimacy to their communication that had him suddenly feeling like a voyeur.

“You boys go ahead,” she insisted. “I’ll clean up. I’m sure Chef wants his dishes back anyway.”

As Spock set up the board, Uhura cleared the table, balancing all of the dishes on a single tray. At Jim’s wide-eyed expression, she explained, “I did some waitressing in high school.”

She then exited his quarters, headed toward the Mess. By that time, Spock was ready for him and he contemplated for a moment before making his first move. He resisted the urge to laugh at Spock’s raised eyebrow.

“Fascinating,” the Vulcan offered.

* * *

When Uhura returned, the two were halfway through their second match with Jim seeming to have the advantage. He eyed Spock’s king before advancing his own piece, placing the Vulcan’s piece in a narrowly escapable check.

The result of Jim’s move remained unspoken as Spock studied the situation from all angles, seeking an out that would not lead to defeat. Knowing that his friend would be displeased if he conceded unnecessarily, Spock managed a move that would remove his king from harm and protect it for the foreseeable future.

Jim frowned, clearly having not expected the move. His gaze was contemplative as he studied the board. Suddenly, he felt a caress on his shoulder and jerked, knocking a piece off the board. Grimacing, he reached down to pick it up. At that precise moment, Spock reached for the piece as well, their hands brushing momentarily. It was enough.

A random series of images flashed across his mind’s eye. Memories, he realized, but they weren’t his. The images were gone just as quickly as they’d come and he gasped in surprise, his gaze locking with Spock’s. Though his friend’s expression was neutral, Jim could swear he saw reluctance, fear and guilt in the man’s eyes. Spock sat as though burned, his hand clenched into a fist at his side.

“Spock,” Jim began cautiously. He ran through the images he could remember and was stunned to find one of himself lying in the Medbay with Spock’s fingers splayed over the contact points on his face to initiate a-- “Mind meld? You got into my head when I was unconscious, didn’t you?”

At Spock’s affirmative nod, Uhura rushed to explain, “He was trying to protect you. He thought if he could perform a meld, he might be able to bury most of the memories so they couldn’t haunt you.”

“When the Doctor spoke of the abuse you’d suffered at the hands of your Uncle, Nyota was most distressed,” Spock continued. “She feared that this incident would cause you pain and difficulty. While the Doctor initially protested, I was able to persuade him to allow it.”

Jim stood abruptly. “It wasn’t his goddamn place to allow it! It’s MY mind and MY choice! You had no right to take that choice away!”

“I’m sorry, Jim,” Nyota choked. “I--we were just trying to help.”

The glint in Jim’s eyes was dangerous and Spock had him against the wall before he could blink.

“If you EVER consider such an action again,” Spock growled. “I won’t hesitate to issue the Challenge.”

A soft feminine hand pulled at the arm pinning Jim to the wall. “Spock, let him go. He wasn’t going to do anything. He’s just angry.” At Uhura’s pleading expression, Spock removed his arm and stepped back, bolting from Jim’s quarters. Uhura left quickly after him, leaving Jim sitting on the floor as he tried to understand what had just happened.

* * *

Spock had arrived on the bridge the next morning in the same manner as usual, asking for a report on ship’s status and then sliding into the chair with familiar ease. But as the shift wore on, it became more and more obvious to the others that something was bothering their acting CO. His normally calm, stoic demeanor was replaced by any number of glances at Uhura as well as hands that shifted continuously sought out a PADD or the arm of his chair.

Sulu frowned. He hadn’t seen the Commander this agitated since the Captain’s abduction. “Sir?” he dared.

Spock’s gaze swung to him. “Yes, Lieutenant?”

Sulu fought to keep the uncertainty out of his voice. “You seem upset. Is the Captain okay?”

Arching an eyebrow, Spock replied, “He is fine, Mr. Sulu. I’m certain he would be pleased with your concern; however, he would be more pleased to learn that you are remaining focused on your duties.”

Sulu paused and nodded. “Aye, sir.”


	4. Chapter 4

It had been two weeks since Jim had learned the truth of what his former friend had done and Bones, knowing that he was fast running out of excuses to keep him on light duty, was forced to clear him. In an attempt to avoid awkward encounters, Spock had rearranged the duty roster to be certain neither he nor Nyota shared a bridge shift with Jim. On the rare occasions that they did occupy the bridge during the crossover, Jim was silent except the infrequent request for a status update. 

When away teams were called for, he didn't argue when Spock insisted he lead the team. The crew had started to feel the tension between its three senior-most bridge officers and rumors flew rampant about what had caused the strain. The most ridiculous was that Jim had insulted some Vulcan tradition and custom indicated that Jim be spurned for this egregious oversight. Naturally, Uhura being Spock’s girlfriend, the Vulcan expected her to spurn him, too.

In truth, Spock felt his friend’s absence deeply and wished that he hadn't commenced the whole farce, but instead given Jim the option of how best to deal with the situation and its aftermath. After a great deal of meditation and reflection, he realized that he’d violated Jim in a way that was almost worse than the physical ordeal of being raped. He’d invaded the one place that Jim had felt he was safe and taken that comfort from him. 

The guilt overwhelmed even his superior control and ate away at him day by day. Nightmares filled the few hours that he did sleep, leaving him so nauseated he often found himself departing the bridge mid-shift to empty his meals into the latrine. It was after the first week of this that he realized the strength of the bond. 

Nyota was able to comfort him to a certain degree due to her part in the bond, but he knew she felt Jim’s absence as much as he did. His connection with Nyota gave him enough strength to maintain his control for periods of time. But, like the present moment, the strain became too much and he released his loneliness in the salty tears that slid down his cheeks.

She sighed. “We can’t keep living like this, Spock,” she murmured. “We have to talk to Jim about--” A gasp slipped past her lips as a near-overwhelming wave of anxiety caused her heart to skip a beat.

“I apologize,” he choked. “I did not mean to--”

“It’s okay,” she breathed. “See what I mean, though? I love you, Spock, and I would do anything to see you happy. Right now, that means telling Jim everything.”

Spock paused. “Yes. And if he wishes it, the elders will sever the connection.” At Uhura’s panicked expression, he caressed her cheek with the backs of his knuckles. “Do not worry. Your and I’s connection will remain. Only our connection to Jim and his connection to us will be severed. I could never sever our bond.”

“It won’t be the same without him, will it?” she asked.

Spock shook his head. “No. It won’t.”

She grimaced. “Maybe if we tell him--”

“It’s unlikely,” Spock murmured. “He seems unaffected by our absence. It is highly probable that he has subconsciously blocked his mind from us, thus the nausea, headaches and anxiety we have been experiencing.”

“But if he knew...he wouldn't let us hurt like this, would he? No matter how angry he is at us?”

“No,” Spock replied. “But nor do I believe he would wish this connection with us. It wasn’t his choice.”

A lump formed in her throat as twin trails wet her cheeks. “We have to try.”

* * *

Uhura pressed her thumb to the door plate for the tenth time, panic slowly replacing the hurt. Before she could tell Spock to use his override, the doors were opening. The room was dark and she could barely make out the shapes of the furniture. Spock’s keener-than-Human eyesight however, spotted a still figure just outside the door to the bathroom he shared with Jim. He rushed to his friend’s side, instinctively feeling for a pulse. 

“He’s alive,” Spock confirmed and Uhura sighed in relief. “But he’s very weak. We must get him medical attention immediately.” He pulled the communicator from his pocket and flipped it open, pressing the button with his thumb. “Doctor McCoy, medical emergency in the Captain’s quarters.” 

He removed his thumb, but kept the communicator open should he need to re-lay more information. A soft groan captured his attention and he looked down to see Jim stirring slightly.

“Jim,” Spock called. “If you can hear me, please respond promptly.”

Jim’s eyes snapped open and he tried to push Spock away. “Leave me the hell alone. I've had enough of your attempts to help for one lifetime, thanks.”

But Spock only pulled back slightly to allow Jim space, refusing to leave. “Have you been unwell? Doctor McCoy will be displeased that you didn't make him aware of your difficulties.”

“He knows,” Jim groused. “Now get the hell out of my quarters.”

“No,” Spock replied firmly. “I will not leave until you receive medical care for your illness.”

At that moment, the doors parted to reveal McCoy with a med-kit.

“See,” Jim bit out. “The cavalry’s here. You can get out now. You and your girlfriend.”

Resigned, Spock placed a hand at the small of Nyota’s back to guide her out.

“Don’t move a muscle, you green-blooded hobgoblin!” McCoy barked. “You know damn well that he’ll pass out again the second that you leave.”

Spock’s brows furrowed slightly. “Certainly not, Doctor. If I were aware of such an eventuality, I would, indeed, not move a muscle.”

McCoy frowned as he studied the readings from the tricorder. “Kid, you’re all over the damn place. Have you been following any of the treatments I recommended?”

Jim shrugged. “I tried. Didn't do much good for long.”

McCoy glanced at Spock before returning his gaze to the tricorder. “Spock, take a couple steps toward Jim.” Jim sputtered in protest, but McCoy ignored him and motioned Spock forward. The Doctor’s eyebrows shot up when the readings calmed. “Step back again.” His brow furrowed. “Toward him again.” McCoy’s expression became thoughtful, his gaze locking with Spock’s. “Did you know?”

Spock stiffened. “I have only become aware in the last seven days of its strength.”

McCoy grimaced. “Well, Jim, until we can get to New Vulcan, it looks like you’re stuck.”

Jim frowned. “Stuck with what?”

“I’ll let your partners explain,” he murmured. On the way out the door, he handed Spock a medical tricorder. “It’s hooked up to my monitor in the Med bay. Keep an eye on his readings.”

Spock nodded and returned his attention to Jim. McCoy then exited the room, leaving the three alone for the first time in nearly a month. The urge to hold his bond mate was strong, but he resisted, knowing that it would only drive Jim away further. Nyota, it seemed, had no such reservations. She rushed forward, hugging him tightly.

“I've missed you so much,” she sobbed. “I’m so so sorry, Jim. For everything. You’re right. We should have given you the choice. I know we can’t ever make up for what we did to you, but we’re willing to spend a lifetime trying.”

He felt it the moment his friend relaxed, relief and contentment caressing his mind through the bond. No longer fearing his bondmate’s reaction, he joined Jim and Nyota, lacing his fingers with Jim’s.

“I deeply regret causing you pain, Jim,” Spock murmured. “That was not my intention. As Nyota previously stated, if you are willing, we will attempt everything within our power to earn your forgiveness, even if this goal should not be fulfilled within our lifetimes.”

Jim’s lips tightened, but he didn't push them away. “What did Bones mean I’m “stuck”? Stuck with what?”

“The bond,” Spock began. “We are bonded.”

“Bonded?” Jim asked, clearly confused. “What the hell does that mean?”

“A psychic bond,” Uhura added. 

Jim’s eyes widened. “Bones said ‘Partners’. Like...married?”

Uhura shook her head. “No. Not yet. Not until we consummate it.”

“Which will not occur unless you wish it,” Spock added quickly. “Betrothed would be more accurate.”

“How in the hell is that even possible?” Jim croaked.

Spock paused. “Though it is rare and such a circumstance has not occurred since the time of Surak, Kah-ka, the bond, may occur between more than two individuals should there be compatibility with a third mind. It requires a precise combination of will and luck.”

A gasped “Holy shit” was Jim’s only response. Sensing their bondmate’s distress, Spock and Uhura sent calming waves to him through their bond.

“Stop that!” Jim snapped. “This whole thing is confusing enough without you two fucking around in my head. Give me a minute to think for myself, damn it!”

Both paused. “Do you want us to leave?” Uhura asked.

“If you do, won’t I pass out again?” 

She shook her head. “Not as long as you don’t put up your mental shields, no.” Pausing, she turned to Spock. “Why don’t you explain it? You understand it better than I do.”

Spock inclined his head, turning his attention to Jim. “Under normal circumstances, erecting barriers around your mind would not affect the bond nor its functioning. However, if you attempt to block the bond entirely, it can lead to great stress and illness for the one--or in this case, two--bonded to you. It will take a great deal of time for you to master this, but as Nyota and myself are practiced in such methods, we will do all in our power to shield your mind from our own to allow you the privacy you desire without ill effects.”

Catching the wording of Spock’s explanation, he asked. “So you and Uhura were bonded before this whole thing happened?” Spock nodded. “Then how were you able to form this bond thing with me?”

“Again, it is because your mind was chemically and otherwise compatible with ours,” he offered. “When I performed the meld to suppress your memories of your imprisonment and torture, I was also connected to Nyota, who served as an anchor of sorts. Given that the ritual is highly dangerous when performed by a novice, my counterpart suggested involving a third party in case the meld needed to be broken abruptly. He felt it would minimize the risk of permanent injury.”

Jim gaped. “Your--he KNOWS about all of this?”

“He doesn't yet know of the consequences of the meld, no,” Spock countered. “However, he does know of your imprisonment and torture.”

“Does he know about--?” Jim sucked in a breath at Spock’s nod.

Uhura paused. “And if you’re feeling up to it, he wanted you to contact him to see how you’re doing.”

Without warning, Jim jumped quickly to his feet and ran for the bathroom. Spock and Uhura followed in time to see him on his knees in front of the toilet, emptying the contents of his stomach.

"Don't leave," Jim gasped, before more bile forced its way out.


	5. Chapter 5

Not for the first time since arriving in the Medbay, Jim groused that he was fine, thank you very much, and would people stop treating him like some sick lost puppy.

To which McCoy replied with a stern, “Stop your whining and just deal with it. You’re far from fine or you wouldn’t have up-chucked a day’s worth of meals in one go.”

That ended the whining, but by no means changed his sour mood. “I’m not fucking four years old, Bones. I can take care of myself.”

“Obviously not,” McCoy growled. “Now shut up and let me work.”

Much to Jim’s displeasure, he received two hypos to the neck: one for nausea and one for the headache slowly forming.  
“Cease acting like a spoiled child and let the Doctor examine you or I will deposit you beneath the coldest source of running water on this ship that I can find,” Spock warned.

Jim gaped, looking like he’d been slapped. For the first time, Jim intentionally reached out for Spock’s mind, as though testing to see if he was serious. Whatever he saw there made him stop fighting and fold his hands in his lap, murmuring, “Let’s get this over with then.”

 

* * *

He was back on light duty until McCoy told him otherwise and he wasn’t in the least bit happy about it. Worse yet, the nightmares were becoming more frequent and the lack of sleep was starting to affect his ability to focus. His shortened bridge shifts made the symptoms of his sleepless nights easier to hide from the crew, but this meant more time alone with Spock and Uhura, who both seemed to realize that something was wrong, even if they weren’t sure exactly what. Last night’s dream had been particularly disturbing.

_He and his senior bridge crew were enjoying leave in a bar on Earth. They were all laughing at one of Spock’s dry jokes when Jim caught sight of something out of the corner of his eye that made his heart race and his throat tighten. Turning, he found himself staring straight at the cause of his every insecurity. Frank._

_For a brief moment, he wondered how the man had gotten out of jail, much less knew he was home or where he was. A flash of blond hair drew his gaze and he sucked in a breath at the sight of his mother standing beside Frank sporting a blossoming black eye, wincing as the man’s grip on her arm tightened. A knowing smirk slid across Frank’s lips and Jim stood, striding quickly to get her away from him._

_Suddenly, the scene changed and he was naked in his childhood bedroom with Frank’s hot breath against the back of his neck. He shivered, then whimpered when he felt Frank’s callused hands caressing his back._

_“Please, stop,” he begged. “I’ll be good, I promise. Just please don’t--”_

_“Shut up!” Frank snarled. “You know you like it. You wouldn’t keep being so bad if you didn’t like your punishment.”_

_The whimpers became sobs, his heart racing as fingers stretched him. Sam was long gone and his mother was off planet. He was at Frank’s mercy and no one or nothing was going to stop it._

_“You like that, don’t you, Jimmy?” Frank murmured. The man’s hand slid to Jim’s half-hard erection. “Yeah, I can feel how much you like it.”_

_Before Jim could draw another breath, Frank rammed into him hard. He bit his lip and fought the urge to cry out, knowing that it would only make Frank slam into him harder. Silent tears streamed down his face. Frank wasn’t a small man by any means and, though Jim knew it wasn’t possible, he could swear he felt the length of him in his chest._

_The sharp, burning pain caused the bile to rise in his throat and his vision swam as Frank pulled part of the way out only to slam into him again. He struggled against the man’s grip on his hands, parting his lips and allowing the bile to spill out, then gasped for breath. The more he struggled, the tighter the man’s grip on his hands became._

The dream ended just as Frank climaxed, copping a quick feel before leaving the room laughing even as Jim struggled to cover himself, curled into a ball and cried himself to sleep. Jim shuddered at the memory. It was one of the tamer ones in his repertoire. The drunker Frank was, the more he liked to beat the shit out of him before fucking him.

It had taken Chris months to break through the walls he put up. When he finally did, Bones was present for the whole debacle. Jim had gone off on one of his usual rants when Chris dressed him down for showing up late to class, still half-drunk from the night before, taking a swing at him when he ordered Jim to attend alcohol rehabilitation.

Chris had made the horrible mistake of not only blocking his punch, but pinning him to the ground. Jim’s adrenaline had kicked in and before the older man knew what was happening, he was halfway across the room wearing a gobsmacked expression.

“Don’t EVER do that to me!” Jim had growled.

As his heart rate had slowed and the adrenaline had worn off, his hands had started shaking and before he could stop them, heart-wrenching sobs had torn their way from his throat as twin trails slid down his cheeks, the tears seeming never-ending. Vulnerable and afraid, Jim had confessed as much as he could stomach recalling to his mentor and his friend.

He’d gone through not only alcohol rehabilitation, but he’d also attended a class for victims of rape after McCoy had sworn it would be kept out of his file, for all the good it had done. To this day, he hated dominant women and the second a woman tried to control him (in the bedroom or otherwise), he was out the door.

“Jim.”

The familiar voice brought him back to the present.

Spock arched an eyebrow. “It is your turn.”

Jim flushed. “Sorry.” He exhaled to calm his nerves and grabbed a piece with a still-shaking hand and advanced it forward. Still flustered, he fell right into the trap Spock had set for him.

Spock arched an eyebrow, making his final move. “Checkmate.”

Jim smiled wanly. “Damn. Thought I had you that time.”

“You seem distressed,” Spock observed. “What were you reflecting on?”

Jim shook his head. “Nothing important.”

His friend surprised him by placing a hand on top of his in an all-too-Human gesture of support. “Jim. It is not necessary to prevaricate. You are my friend and I am concerned for your well-being. As you know, I am aware of certain details regarding your past, as is Nyota. Neither she nor I view you any differently. You are a victim and what was done to you was not your fault.”

Jim laughed humorlessly. “An emotionally sensitive Vulcan. That has to be a first.”

“As you have often pointed out,” Spock countered. “I am half-Human.”

Jim sighed. “How much did Bones tell you?”

“Only that you experienced trauma similar to that of your kidnapping during your childhood.”

Nodding, Jim started from the beginning.


	6. Chapter 6

Though Spock had comforted Jim after his confession, even going so far as to embrace him until he slept, the rage simmered just below the surface, driving his need for meditation. He made due with the supplies he had available to him, seeking peace on the floor beside Jim’s bed in case a nightmare awoke him.

Spock at last reached the memories he wished to analyze. He’d taken Jim’s fear into himself with each horrifying recollection and had channeled it, reflecting comfort and understanding back to Jim, soothing his friend’s horrors as only the bond could do. Though it by no means cured him, Jim seemed significantly more relaxed, as though sharing his burden with another gave the memories less power over him.

* * *

It had been almost a week since Jim’s midnight confession. Both sat in the ready room, reading one another’s reports on the failed diplomatic mission to Raynor III to be sure nothing essential was missing. For the good of the ship and the crew, they needed to be on the same page so to speak. Jim noticed details in Spock’s report that he hadn’t explained well enough in his own or that he’d missed altogether and made notes on a separate PADD of revisions to make to his own report. Spock did the same, though he naturally had fewer of these corrections to make.

“All in all, pretty thorough,” Jim commented, removing his reading glasses. “Though you could have left out the part about the monarch’s wife trying to seduce me.”

Spock arched an eyebrow. “For what purpose? Is that not what led to the mission’s failure?”

Jim chuckled. “Touché. Though to be fair, I tried to tell her no without causing a diplomatic incident. Which is exactly what this turned into.”

“I noted as much in the next paragraph.”

Studying the mentioned text, Jim smiled. “So you did.”

Glancing at the chronometer, Spock entered a series of commands into the PADDs he was working on, his gaze locking with Jim’s. “Nyota requested that we join her for lunch at this time.”

“I remember,” Jim replied, saving the report and his notes before turning the PADD off. “I’m ready.”

* * *

Though the trio had fallen back into their daily routine, they had yet to really discuss the events of Jim’s kidnapping and all that had ensued afterwards. Jim had accepted what had happened and no longer tried to block the bond, but he didn’t reach out to explore it either. Uhura’s gaze flickered briefly to Jim before her eyes locked with Spock’s. Pausing a moment, Spock shook his head minutely. Sighing in frustration, she returned to her meal.

“It is unusual for us to not have received new orders by this time,” Spock observed.

Jim shrugged. “Maybe, for a change, there’s nothing going on that the rest of the fleet can’t handle.” He sighed. “I almost wish somebody would attack us. At least it would alleviate the boredom.”

Noting that the dark circles under Jim’s eyes hadn’t faded, Spock suggested, “Perhaps you should take the opportunity to obtain a sleeping aid from Doctor McCoy and rest.”

Jim shook his head. “I’m fine.”

“Your rest is often obstructed by disturbances,” Spock observed. “In my estimation you have not received the appropriate intervals of sleep for a Human male your age in the 5.63 nights I have spent with you in your quarters. I’m certain that Doctor McCoy will agree. I don’t wish to have you relieved of duty, but I will have no choice if you don’t take this down time to rest. Nyota or myself will stay with you if you wish.”

“I wouldn’t want to keep you from your duties,” Jim groused.

Uhura arched an eyebrow in a way so reminiscent of Spock’s usual expression that Jim fought the urge to grin. “Spock and I have plenty of leave stored up between the two of us,” she threatened. “We’ll bring Leonard in on this if we need to.”

Realizing that it wasn’t a choice, he sighed. “All right. But I’d prefer it be Uhura tonight. You deserve a break, Spock, and you need rest, too.”

Uhura nodded. “As long as it won’t make you uncomfortable...my being there, I mean.”

“It’s no different than Spock’s constant hovering,” he muttered. The Vulcan opened his mouth to protest, but Jim interrupted. “I know, I know. ‘Vulcans don’t hover.’”

* * *

Picking up the PADD beside his bed, Jim slid his reading glasses on and searched for the bookmark that would indicate where he’d left off. He wasn’t even a few lines in when he suddenly had the feeling that he was being watched. His gaze flew to Uhura and grinned when he noted her staring. “I’m allergic to the stuff they use for contacts,” he replied in answer to her unasked question. “And I can’t read a damn thing without them.”

“Oh,” she replied. “I--Don’t think I’m weird, but they’re kind of sexy.”

He chuckled. “Really? Bones always says they make me look kinda nerdy.”

She whispered breathily. “Yeah, but--I don’t know. Nerdy kind looks hot on you.”

A smirk slid across his lips. “That mean you’ll sleep with me now?” Her eyes widened and the smirk became a frown. “I was only kidding. I didn’t mean--”

“There was a time when I would have slapped the shit out of you for even suggesting it,” she murmured. “I guess time can change a lot of things.”

Before he could process what she meant, her lips brushed against his in a shy imitation of a kiss. For a moment, he forgot where he was and who he was with, allowing himself to just feel. He cradled her face in his hands and covered her mouth with his, groaning into the kiss as the heat raced south. He was instantly hard.

“Holy shit,” he breathed.

A gasp escaped their kiss. “Jim,” she sighed.

His name from her lips was like a figurative cold shower, cooling his libido in seconds. He pulled back and slammed his eyes shut against the thoughts competing for dominance in his mind, the most clear being that he’d just kissed his best friend’s girlfriend. The number one rule of the guy code was to never mess with your best friend’s girl.

“It’s okay,” she murmured. “I’m yours, too, remember? The bond--”

Jim shook his head. “No, it’s not okay. You’re not mine. Spock would kick my ass if he knew.”

She laid a hand on his cheek, forcing him to meet her gaze. “We belong to each other. I’m yours just like Spock’s mine and you’re his. It’s a three-way bond. I know it’s weird, but you have just as much right to kiss me as Spock does.”

“Please, don’t,” he rasped. “You have to go before I--”

Shaking her head, she replied, “No. I’m staying right here. We don’t have to do anything else tonight, but I’m not leaving you. I care too much about you to let you face the nightmares alone.”

He sighed, knowing that he wasn't going to win. He turned onto his side and pulled her into his arms, holding her close, and buried his face in her hair, his warm breath caressing her neck.

“Goodnight, Jim,” Uhura murmured.

He mumbled a sleepy goodnight, the earthy scent of jojoba oil mingling with the rich sweet floral scent of jasmine to lull him into a tranquil sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the end of the chapter since I really wasn't happy with it. So if you want to read it again, feel free or you might end up doing a double-take when I post chapter 8.

_As the fog of sleep slipped away, he felt a sense of calm and stability that he hadn’t experienced since before his kidnapping. At that moment, something warm and soft shifted in his arms and he remembered why. He was holding Uhura against his naked chest, the scent of her skin like a drug. He couldn’t recall at any point taking off his shirt, knowing that the he must have gotten too warm under the thickness of the comforter and done so in a sleepy haze._

_She was stripped down to her regulation Starfleet underclothes and the tank top rode up only slightly, revealing a sliver of delicious caramel skin. He shuddered, blood rushing south at the realization. He was hard in seconds. No amount of fantasizing about this beautiful woman in his bed could have prepared him for the reality of it._

_She was utterly breathtaking in the innocence of sleep and his heart missed a beat at the soft sighs she emitted as she settled further into him, her hand sliding atop his. He swallowed roughly. God help him, but he was completely head-over-heels in love with this woman. In truth, she’d always been different to him than any of the other women he’d hit on._

_She was grace and beauty and intellect. So much so that she had him stuttering and feeling like the dumb hick she’d once accused him of being. He could solve one of the most complex mathematical equations known to man without breaking a sweat, but that genius failed him the moment she came into a room.  Images of her beneath him as he kissed her breathless flickered through his mind and his heart raced at the thought._

_Cursing softly, he carefully freed himself from her and bolted for the bathroom. He stood beneath the showerhead and, with a series of violent jabs at the control console, cold water struck him like a gale force wind and he bit back a shout of surprise. But it achieved the desired result. His earlier raging libido was gone as he shivered from the goosebump inducing coolness against the heat of his body. He finished showering quickly, wanting to get dressed before Uhura woke up._

_Tucking the towel in at his waist, he released a heavy breath before stepping back into the bedroom. Uhura was waiting for him, her eyes widening at his sudden appearance. Suddenly, a near-crippling wave of lust shot through him and he gasped, his gaze locking with hers. The dilation of her pupils could mean only one thing--he was feeling her lust, presumably through the bond he’d been blocking._

_In seconds, she had him backed against the wall and her lips were on his in one of the most erotic kisses he’d ever experienced in his life. His previously-flagging libido sparked instantly awake and he hardened so quickly, he felt briefly lightheaded._

_He pulled her tighter against him and ground his hips into hers, a throaty moan vibrating in her chest. His vision darkened slightly at the edges and it struck him that he wasn’t breathing properly. Pushing her away for a moment, his eyes slammed shut against the erotic sight of her as he drew in deep gasping breaths to ease the lightheaded feeling._

_When his eyes opened, he noted the mischievous grin that slid across her face and opened his mouth to ask her about it, but groaned instead when he felt the towel fall away and her hand grasp his cock._

*  *  *

His eyes shot open and he sucked in a sharp breath. As he took in his surroundings, he realized he was still in bed and he was alone. The sheets and his underwear were soaked. A wet dream. He hadn’t had one of those since the Academy.

Unsure of how long he’d be alone, he stripped the sheets off the bed and sent them down the hidden laundry shoot before stripping his underwear off and doing the same with them. He headed for the shower, smiling at the feeling of deja-vu as he hoped to be showered and dressed before Uhura returned. To avoid an incident like in his dream, he’d made sure to bring his clothes into the bathroom with him and lock the door.

*  *  *

When he emerged 10 minutes later, he was glad that he’d chosen to get dressed in the bathroom. Two plates sat on his dining table, one filled with eggs, sausage, bacon, toast and a variety of other breakfast items with a stack of pancakes on a side plate while the other contained a simple omelette and wheat toast. A glass of orange juice and a glass of milk sat in front of each plate with the silverware flanking the sides. At the center of the table sat two small bowls of strawberry jam and a bowl of butter.

“Sorry I wasn’t here when you woke up,” Uhura began. “I figured you’d be hungry so I grabbed us some breakfast. I wasn’t sure what you liked so I got you a little bit of everything.”

Jim grinned. “Yeah. I see that. Thanks.”

“You can go ahead and start,” she offered. “I just need to change really quick.”

She grabbed what he assumed to be her off-duty clothing and headed toward the bathroom, the door closing behind her. He dug into his meal, fighting back a moan of delight. He’d forgotten how good a hearty breakfast could be. He usually just grabbed a cup of coffee and a couple of pieces of dry toast on his way to the bridge.

As he reached for his juice, the gentle caress of soft lips on his cheek startled him. He turned toward Uhura, who smiled as the backs of her fingers replaced her lips.

“Getting a bit scruffy,” she teased as she slid into the chair across from him.

He reached a hand up to rub his cheek, feeling the stubble. “Yeah. Haven’t shaved in a few days.”

“Actually, it’s kind of sexy,” she murmured. “I wish Spock would let his grow a little, but he says its too uncomfortable.”  

Jim’s laughed. “I didn’t know Vulcans could even grow facial hair. I’ve never seen one with any.”

Uhura shrugged. “They can as far as I know. They just choose not to,” she replied, taking a bite of her omelette.

A sudden image of Spock with stubble flashed through his mind and he mentally shook his head. He may be bonded to Spock, but no way was he going to start down that road. If he did, there was a good chance he wouldn’t find his way back. While he’d been secure enough in his masculinity to admit that his Vulcan First Officer was easy on the eyes, he’d never considered what he might be like in bed--until now. Damn Uhura for putting the image of stubbled Spock into his way-too-creative mind. It was doing bad things for his already overactive libido.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to use all of your leave babysitting me?” he joked. “I’d hate for you to waste it only to regret it later. I’m fine, Uhura, really.”

“Nyota.” He froze. She smiled. “You’ve kissed me. I slept in your bed last night. I think you can call me by my first name.”

He nodded. “I’m fine, Nyota. You don’t need to stay if you don’t want to.”

“Jim,” she murmured. “Of course I want to. I can’t imagine anywhere else I’d rather be.”

He laid his fork down, laughing nervously. “Well, when you put it that way--”

At that precise moment, the door chime rang. Frowning, Jim called, “Enter.”

“Spock,” Nyota greeted.

Spock strode forward, brushing his lips against hers. “Ashal-veh. I trust you slept well?”

She smiled. “Yes. I wasn’t expecting you or I would’ve made a plate for you.”

“The decision was made spontaneously.” His attention turned to Jim. “Did Nyota’s presence alleviate the sleep disturbances?”

Jim flushed. No doubt Nyota had shared her memories of last night with him through their brief contact. “Yeah. It did. Thanks.”

Unexpectedly, Spock’s hand covered his and he jerked away at the slight static shock.

“Sorry,” Jim murmured.  

Two fingers brushed over the back of his hand and his gaze locked with Spock’s. A Vulcan kiss. Far more intimate than any Human display of affection.

“Spock,” he croaked. “I--”

Spock shook his head. “Do not feel that you need to return my affections at this time. I only ask that you consider what I’m offering--what we are offering.”

His friend’s touch stirred something in him that he couldn’t quite define. He felt something for Uhura, sure. He supposed he always had. But the idea of being with Spock in that way was so new and made him feel uncertain. A lot of his doubt, he supposed, had to do with his previous negative intimate experiences with men. Even his one consensual male relationship with Gary Mitchell at the Academy had been full of turmoil. Jim always needed to have control in the bedroom, which, for a type A personality like Gary, just flat out didn’t work.

Judging by Spock’s careful handling of him, he wouldn’t have the same issues with control; but it still wasn’t something Jim was sure he was entirely comfortable with. Hell, why was he even thinking about this? Was he that desperate for an intimate relationship with Nyota? After a moment’s pondering, he realized the answer to that was a resounding yes. There was a connection between him and Spock, too, he knew; but nowhere near what he felt for Nyota. He nodded sharply, offering Nyota what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

“Have a seat, Spock,” Jim insisted. “Fill me in. What’d I miss on the bridge?”

The next hour passed comfortably enough with Spock updating him on the latest reports from each of the departments. They discussed a few work-related issues, but quickly shifted to more personal topics, like Jim’s discussion with Spock’s older self.

“Since we haven’t really received any new orders,” Jim began. “I thought it would be good to visit New Vulcan. See if they need any help with the construction of new homes or something. It’s at least productive and it’ll give us a chance to consult a Healer about this bond thing.”

Spock inclined his head. “Logical. And should you wish, we could break the bond at that time.”

Jim frowned. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. I just want to know more about it and what it means for the three of us.”

“As you wish, Jim,” Spock murmured, surprising Jim with the slight upturn of his lips.


	8. Chapter 8

They arrived at New Vulcan within a matter of days. Jim grinned as he ordered standard orbit of the planet. Though he was glad for a chance to visit a Healer about the bond, in truth, he was more interested in talking to the older Spock about some of the things he’d caught glimpses of during their first mind meld. It was hard to believe that it had been four years to the day since he’d found him marooned on Delta Vega by Nero.

“Incoming transmission, Captain,” Nyota called. “It’s the Ambassador.”

Jim nodded. “Transfer it to my ready room.” He paused. “Uhura, Spock. Care to join me?”

The two exchanged a glance before standing to follow him into the ready room. Their replacements took over instantly.

“Mr. Sulu, you have the bridge,” Jim added just before the doors closed behind him.

“Aye, sir.” With a grin, Sulu slid into the Captain’s chair.

#  #  #

Older Spock arched an eyebrow. “A polyamorous bond? Fascinating. Such a thing has not been seen since--”

“The time of Surak,” Jim finished. “Yeah, I heard.”

Older Spock’s gaze rested on Nyota. “It is best to be entirely truthful at this time, dear friend,” he murmured. “Did you have romantic feelings for Jim prior to the meld?”

She blushed. “I was beginning to, yes, which was really confusing because my feelings for Spock hadn’t changed. If anything, they’d grown stronger.”

Brow furrowed in thought, Older Spock continued, “Then it is your feelings which are the basis of the bond. I am uncertain if my younger self has shared this with you, but generally, Vulcan males cannot establish a permanent bond with another. Only females have that ability.”

Jim frowned. “Then how the hell was Spock able to bond the three of us?”

“Given Nyota’s extended contact with my younger self through multiple mind melds, it would appear that certain areas of her mind, those that control psionic communication, became more active with each meld,” he replied. “In essence, her mind began to adapt itself to form a psionic bond. These changes to her brain structure already made, when she sensed the compatibility of the existing bond with Jim’s mind, she subconsciously sought out that connection and used your psionic bond to touch his mind. Jim’s mind, also recognizing that compatibility, began to change to adapt to the psionic bond. Further mind melds, performed by my younger self, between you would presumably strengthen the connection and should you consummate your newfound relationship, the bond would be nearly unbreakable except through most painful means.”

“So,” Jim drawled. “What I’m feeling for the younger you isn’t real? It’s just Nyota’s feelings?”

Older Spock shook his head. “The feelings are indeed real. The bond built on those that already existed, amplifying them. Perhaps you would have come to recognize them in time yourself for what they were. The bond only speeded that process along.”

“And my feelings for Nyota?” Jim asked, licking his lips nervously.

Older Spock arched an eyebrow. “From my understanding of your non-verbal cues, those feelings existed long before the meld, also amplified by the bond.”

Jim nodded. “Yeah. Since the Academy.” He cleared his throat. “Well, thanks for explaining everything. It’s easier to understand when you put it that way.”

“You may still wish to seek the services of a Healer,” Older Spock advised. “And I believe, my old friend, you have a very difficult decision to make.”

The screen went dark and Jim found himself studying his hands to avoid the gazes of his bondmates.

“Since the Academy?” Nyota breathed.

“Yeah,” he murmured. “For a long time, I thought it was just about the challenge. Somewhere along the way, I guess I fell in love with you.”

Spock’s question was unspoken and yet understood all the same. His gaze locked with his friend’s and he exhaled heavily. “And yeah, I started feeling something before this whole thing--after the whole thing with Khan. That first time you visited me after I woke up,” he admitted. “When you handed me that PADD and our hands sort of brushed against each other. It felt different. You lingered a bit longer. You seemed more reluctant to pull away.”

Spock nodded. “It was at this time that I began to recognize that my view of you had changed. You had become one of my greatest friends. For you to risk losing everything you held most dear to save my life--despite my reporting of the incident, I came to admire and respect you greatly for that choice and I knew that I would never be able to repay that debt. From that time on, you had my unswerving loyalty and my friendship.”

Jim swallowed roughly, sliding two fingers over Spock’s in the familiar Vulcan kiss. “You’ve always had mine.”

Spock returned the gesture, whispering, “Taluhk nash-veh k'dular, ashayam. I cherish thee.”

“I guess, coming from a Vulcan, that’s a profession of undying love?” Jim teased.

“I don’t believe I can make my meaning any more obvious, Jim.”

Jim grinned. “Don’t worry, Spock. I heard you loud and clear." 

#  #  #

The three were there to greet the Healer as she beamed aboard. Scotty manned the controls only long enough for her to materialize before Jim dismissed him. Naturally, Scotty obeyed without question, though he spared the group a curious glance or two before he left.

“Healer T’Mil,” Jim greeted.

Spock bowed his head slightly, offering the traditional greeting. “Peace and long life, Elder T’Mil.”

The corners of the woman’s lips turned up just slightly. “Be at ease, son of Sarek, before you sprain something.”

He noted a slight twinkle in Spock’s gaze as he engaged in a gesture Jim recognized from his studies of Vulcan culture as the el'ru'esta, or hand embrace. If he recalled right, it was used as a greeting among family members.

“En'ahr'at, I am honored by your presence here.”

T’Mil inclined her head. “I am honored to be present on this most important of occasions. You have changed a great deal since our last meeting. Bonded to not one Human, but two.” She then stepped past Spock, stopping in front of Jim. “James Kirk. I have heard much of you and I understand it is you whom I have to thank that I am able to visit with my pi-maat. I am grateful that Spock has one such as you to call ashayam.”

Jim blushed. “Glad to be of service,” he murmured.

Her gaze then focused on Nyota. “You are the one to whom he was first bonded.”

Nyota nodded. “Yes.”

“I am grateful to you as well, Nyota Uhura,” she offered. “I have never seen him so balanced as in this moment. Your influence has served him well.” She paused a moment before returning her gaze to Jim. “Do you wish to dissolve the Kah-ka, the bond?”

Jim hesitated. “I’d like to know more about it, if that’s all right.”

“Logical,” she offered. “Perhaps this matter is best discussed in a more private setting.”

He nodded. “If you’ll agree, I’ve found that serious things like this are best discussed after a meal. It’s my understanding that Plomeek is a popular favorite among your culture. I’d be happy to have an approximation of it prepared for you.”

“That would be most agreeable,” T’Mil accepted.

#  #  #

Jim noted the arch of T’Mil’s eyebrows as he indulged in a bowl of the Plomeek he’d had made to her tastes. He grinned.

“Spock introduced me to it after a particularly rough away mission,” he added. “He said it was his favorite when he was a kid.”

T’Mil inclined her head. “Indeed it was. He often coerced Amanda to prepare it for him when he was ill or when his father wasn’t home to prevent the indulgence.”

He noted Spock’s pinched expression at the mention of his mother and laid a hand on top of his friend’s in an attempt to soothe him. Spock’s cheeks flushed and he removed his hand rather quickly. Jim frowned, his gaze locking with Nyota’s. Her lips moved soundlessly and he made out something about ‘social taboo’. It was a moment before his brain caught up.

Grimacing, Jim made an even greater effort to avoid T’Mil’s gaze until he could think of a way to divert the conversation to something decidedly less dangerous, knowing that what, to him, was merely a gesture of comfort was the Vulcan equivalent to a lewd public display of affection. He only wished he’d realized this before he’d embarrassed Spock in front of his relation.

“A friend gave us a theory as to how this bond might have formed,” he began. “He mentioned something about compatible minds.”

Spock then explained their conversation with his older self, careful not to reveal their “friend’s” identity. T’Mil hesitated, seemingly processing the facts.

“A logical conclusion,” she acknowledged, then turned to Jim and Nyota. “What I am about to share with you is known to few outsiders. We, as a people, are bound by the Code of Silence to never discuss it. However, I feel it is essential that you, as Spock’s bondmates, be made to understand. Pon Farr, the time of mating, originates during a time of great chaos for our world. Despite common misconceptions, our race is capable of great emotion, even greater than Humans. Hostility, hatred and greed were destroying us. Had Surak not guided us toward the path of logic, we likely would have decimated ourselves. Following the cessation of hostilities, there were more males than females, a result of our warrior ways prior to Surak. It was at this time that the kunat-kali’fee came to be. It was logical in that only the strongest males survived to reproduce.”

Jim frowned. “Darwinism.” At T’Mil’s arched eyebrow, he elaborated. “Survival of the fittest to ensure the resilience of the species.”

T’Mil inclined her head. “Precisely. Your bond will change much should Spock’s time come. If you choose to consummate and accept your bond, the plak tow will not be fatal. But the drive will be just as strong. As to the specifics of your bond, our knowledge of it is as limited as yours. To my knowledge the bond that the three of you share is only the second to occur within the recorded history of our race and the first to develop to this stage.”

Jim grimaced slightly. “Well, that’s reassuring.”

“I only meant,” T’Mil clarified. “That the three individuals involved chose to dissolve the other male’s connection prior to reaching the level of affection you three currently share.”

Jim pursed his lips slightly, his expression thoughtful. “Thank you for your help, Healer T’Mil.”

Taking one last drink of her tea, T’Mil stood. “It was my honor.” She then offered the familiar salute. “Peace and prosperity to you all.”

Spock strode toward her, returning the gesture, replying, “Live long and prosper, Elder T’Mil.”

To Jim and Nyota’s shock, a slight smile curved the corners of her lips. “You are welcome among us anytime, pi-maat,” she offered. “As are your bondmates.”

Spock inclined his head. “Thank you.”

T’Mil strode from the room, Spock escorting her back to the transporter room.


	9. Chapter 9

“Was your bond like the one I have with the younger you?”

The older Vulcan’s brow furrowed slightly. “Yes and no. You became very ill when you blocked the bond?” Jim nodded. “That is usually indicative of a much deeper bond than my Jim and I experienced. Should you, your Spock and your Nyota choose to consummate your bond, I believe it has the potential to allow the sharing of thoughts and emotions over great distances. This is unusual and rare even among Vulcan pairs and is due perhaps in no small part to the greater challenges you have struggled through together. You have literally faced death together. You made a sacrifice for those you loved even my Jim feared to make and they risked everything to revive you.”

“What if something happens to one of them?” Jim murmured.

Older Spock paused. “Those who lose their bondmates--it is one of the most painful experiences I’ve had in my many years. Some manage to survive it by going to a healer to sever the bond. Others simply pass on from the agony of it. I myself have managed to survive the loss of my Jim with the bond still intact, but because I am half-Human, I was better able to adapt than most full Vulcans. I have learned over my lifetime that though emotion can consume and destroy, Humans are astoundingly resilient and have an admirable ability to overcome it.”

“Would you do it all over again?” Jim asked. “Even knowing that you’d eventually lose him?”

The older Vulcan nodded. “Without hesitation,” he added. “The love my Jim and I had for one another made me the individual I am today. Without him, I doubt I would have the appreciation that I do for the power of unconditional love. He changed me in ways that I can’t begin to explain.”

“I love them both,” Jim admitted. “More than anything. But what if that’s not enough? It sure as hell wasn’t enough to make my mom want anything to do with me. Even my brother, Sam, left. Until I met Chris, nobody gave two shits what happened to me.”

“I feel responsible for the hardships you have endured in this life,” Older Spock began. “Had Nero and myself not become trapped in the gravity of a singularity I created, your father would still be alive and perhaps you would have had the opportunity for the life that you deserved. It distresses me greatly to know that my faulty logic has caused you pain, old friend.”

Jim shook his head. “Don’t. It’s not your fault that my family made the choices that they did. You did what you had to do.”

Older Spock inclined his head. “I have been and always shall be your friend, my Jim. Never hesitate to contact me no matter the reason. If there is anything I can do to ease your discomfort--”

“Thanks,” Jim replied. “But I think I need to work this one out for myself.”

Older Spock offered the familiar parting gesture, which Jim returned before the screen went black. Sighing, Jim picked up a PADD and began a list, hoping it would make his decision more clear.

#  #  #

Jim ducked behind the boulder just in time to avoid the weapons fire. A glance across the clearing showed Nyota pinned down with nowhere to go. He cursed, his gaze then flickering to Spock. His First Officer was trapped, too, and in no position to help her. He turned to Sulu.

“Draw their fire!” he shouted over the dozens of weapons volleys.

Sulu opened his mouth to protest, but before he could get the words out, Jim was dodging across the clearing. Glancing back, Sulu was following orders despite the stupidity inherent in them. He dropped down beside Nyota, peeking around her cover to eliminate another one of the Tsarins firing at them.

“What the hell are you doing?!” she shouted, alternately dodging weapons’ blasts and firing back.

Jim grasped her arm. “Saving your ass. I’ll cover you. Just run like hell!”

Her eyes widened. “What about you?”

“Don’t worry about me,” he grinned. “I don’t believe in no-win scenarios, remember?”

She scowled. “Your ego is going to get you killed one of these days.”

He shrugged. “Been there. Done that. Now move. That’s an order.”

“Yes, Captain,” she bit out sarcastically.

She waited for the perfect moment, then hurried toward the boulder Sulu was using for cover. Jim fired at a tree halfway between his group and the Tsarin fighters, the wood splintering into an uncountable number of little flying shards. When he saw their attention turn to him, he made to take cover, but was too slow. Searing pain enveloped his shoulder and he gritted his teeth against its intensity.

His gaze fell on the wound to see it raw and bleeding. He sat his weapon down and ripped the sleeve of his uniform shirt, then tearing the material into long strips, which he used as a makeshift tourniquet to stem the bleeding. With his uninjured arm, he dug in his pocket for his communicator and flipped it open.

“Kirk to _Enterprise_ ,” he shouted. “We’re sitting ducks. Any luck getting a lock?”

“Ze transporter only has enough power to beam up three people,” came Chekov’s panicked reply. “Any more than zat and we risk overloading ze whole system.”

Jim paused. “Beam Uhura, Spock and Sulu out of here, then. I’ll make for higher ground.”

“Belay that order, Ensign.”

He scowled when he found Nyota and Spock knelt on either side of him. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Get out of here! That’s an order.”

Spock arched an eyebrow. “I believe I speak for both Nyota and myself when I say not a chance in hell.”

Jim grunted in frustration. “Chekov, get Sulu out of here. Spock, Uhura and I are going to see if we can outmaneuver them.”

“Keptin--”

“Obey my orders, Ensign,” Jim growled. “Or I’ll see your ass court-martialed for insubordination.”

There was a pinched tone to Chekov’s voice as he replied, “Aye, Keptin.”

A moment later, the familiar shimmer of the transporter enveloped Sulu and his physical form faded as he was beamed back to _Enterprise_.  

Jim covered his head to protect himself from a shower of sparks as the weapons’ fire rebounded off the boulder.

“Either of you have any brilliant ideas on how to get us out of this mess?” he drawled sarcastically.

He caught a brief glance of something moving through the trees in front of him. Without a second thought, he grabbed for his weapon and fired. A body dropped to the forest floor, unconscious. The surge of adrenaline wore off quickly and when the searing pain returned, he realized he’d fired with his injured arm. Sucking in a sharp breath, he dropped the weapon and instinctively clutched his arm.

Nyota’s eyes widened. “You’re hurt.”

“Thanks for the newsflash,” he grunted in irritation. “I had no idea.”

The fire in her eyes would have melted steel. “If we don’t die down here, I’m going to kick your ass for playing hero...again...and nearly getting yourself killed...again.”

He smiled tightly. “Looking forward to it.”

“Captain,” Spock interjected. “I believe if i can set my phaser to overload and use it as a projectile, I will be able to eliminate the majority of our attackers, allowing us just enough time to escape.”

Jim nodded. “We’ll head south. I think I remember something from the orbital scans about caverns in those mountains. We should be safe there until Scotty can fix the transporter.”

Spock set the phaser and waited until just before the indicator went red to toss it at a large concentration of enemy fighters. Just as he dove for cover, a fiery explosion rocked the clearing. Jim exchanged glances with Spock and Nyota, grasping each of their hands tightly.

“Go!”

The three scrambled to their feet and dodged back into the forest, narrowly avoiding the weapons’ fire of the remaining fighters. They didn’t stop running until the sounds ceased, giving way to the familiar hums and chirps of forest life. Even so, they kept up a brisk pace as they headed toward the caves indicated by Spock’s tricorder.


	10. Chapter 10

Jim built a fire out of the wood they’d gathered a short distance from the cave even as they waited for Spock to return with more. Nyota laid a short distance away, her eyes closed and her breathing even. Smiling a little, Jim brushed a few stray hairs from her face. It was no wonder she was exhausted. The long hike to shelter had taken a toll on all of them.

He glanced toward the entrance of the cave, noting that the blackness of night had replaced the sunset and the stars were emerging. No recognizable constellations dotted this world’s night sky, reminding him just how far they were from home. Instead of the familiar moon of Earth’s night sky, two rust-colored moons peaked over the horizon, casting a strange red glow over the nocturnal landscape.

The beauty of the world around him almost made him forget that they were stranded. He took comfort in the fact that he was here with two of the strongest people he knew and there was no one he’d rather be stranded with. Nyota stirred slightly, murmuring his name. When he didn’t respond, her eyes fluttered open.

His cheeks flushed slightly and he jerked his hand away. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

She shook her head. “It’s okay. Is Spock back yet?”

“No,” Jim replied, his brow furrowing. “Maybe I should go look for him. He has been gone awhile.”

At that moment, they heard footsteps approaching and turned to see Spock enter the cave with a pile of wood tucked under one arm, carrying the carcass of a rabbit-like mammal under the other. He leaned the wood against the far wall and brought the animal to the fireside, then removed several handsful of what appeared to be berries, placing them in a makeshift bowl, and a couple of large fruits.

Jim grinned. “Shit, way to make me feel useless. I bring back a pile of sticks and you come back with a pile of logs AND dinner.”

Thinking back to his Academy survival training and his years on his family farm in Iowa, he skinned, cut and jointed the carcass with a rock sharpened by the beam of his phaser, then removed the organs and intestines.

Nyota used a rock to crack open the hard shells of the fruit, removing the seeds with the sharp edge of an arrowhead Spock had created from a rock. She then used the arrowhead to remove the meat of the fruit from the shell and offered several pieces to Spock, who took it and inclined his head in thanks.

Jim preferred rabbit stew to skewered rabbit. But as they had a limited supply of water and no vegetables, he settled for cutting the meat into thin strips and used a long stick to spear them, creating a crude spit. A slight char developed on the outside and Jim pulled it from the fire, tasting a piece. He grimaced at the gamey flavor. But it was protein.

He glanced at Spock and noted the Vulcan’s pinched expression. Probably the smell of the meat. Normally, he wouldn’t eat meat in front of Spock for that reason, but this was survival and God knew how long they’d be stuck here. Jim offered Nyota a piece and she took it hesitantly, nibbling on it.

“I know it’s not the best, but we have to make do,” Jim murmured. “We need to eat.”

Nyota nodded and took a larger bite, shuddering as she chewed. “I’m never complaining about Chef’s grilled chicken again.”

Jim grinned. “Me either.” He pulled another strip from the stick and chewed quickly, before swallowing. “Not so bad once you get over the chewiness.”

#  #  #

Sucking in a sharp breath, Jim raced for the entrance to the cave, only managing to get outside before a stream of bile forced its way up and out of his throat. His stomach spasmed and another stream broke free. Several bouts of this later, he leaned against the cave wall pinching the bridge of his nose. Two pairs of hands steadied him as he moved to again sit down next to the fire.

“Shit, I might just become a vegetarian after this,” he groaned.

Spock arched an eyebrow. “Nyota didn’t have a reaction to the meat. Therefore it is logical to assume that either you are ill or that your physiology is not compatible with some element of the fruit.”

Jim snorted. “Another thing to add to my list of allergies,” he joked.

“Drink this,” Spock insisted, offering him a canteen of water. Jim shook his head. “You must replace the water you exorcised or you will become dehydrated.” Sighing, Jim drank. “Slowly. Or you will likely vomit again.”

When he’d had enough, Jim pushed the canteen away and laid back, using his uniform jacket as a pillow. His head was still throbbing like crazy, but at least he wasn’t nauseous anymore. He opened his eyes, shocked to find his First Officer and Communications Officer stripping down to their underclothes.

He opened his mouth to protest, but Spock cut him off. “Shared body heat is the most logical means of survival in an unknown environment,” he stated matter-of-factly. “Remove your clothing.”

Jim felt a slight blush color his cheeks, but he was too tired to argue. Within moments, he found himself sandwiched between his two officers, which was doing nothing to cool his overactive libido. Despite his best efforts to avoid touching either of them, his cock was already half hard just from the proximity of their nearly naked forms to his.

What their closeness didn’t do, Nyota’s scent did. The familiar aroma had his mind warping back to the kiss they’d shared that night in his quarters and his cock hardened instantly at the memory. He grunted in frustration. No cold showers here. He was just going to have to grit his teeth and bare it.

Just when he thought he couldn’t get anymore uncomfortable, Nyota stiffened beside him, her eyes widening in understanding. She hesitated before offering, “Do you want some help with that?”

He gaped at her, his heart threatening to burst out of his chest as he fought back a groan at the thought of her hand--or God help him, her mouth--wrapped around his cock. He glanced nervously at Spock, stunned to find the Vulcan’s eyes suddenly dark with a very familiar emotion: lust.

“I--what about--,” he stuttered.

Spock arched an eyebrow. “It would be illogical to remain uncomfortable when it can be easily relieved.”

Jim swallowed roughly. “O--okay. I mean, I guess you could--”

Before he could finish, her hand slid beneath the elastic of his underwear and he gasped when it closed around him. She slid her hand up and then down, causing him to thrust into her grip on the down motion.

“Nyota,” he rasped, groaning when she used her thumb to tease the slit. “Fuck! God, don’t stop!”

Smiling, she teased the edge of the head with the tip of her thumb and then stroked down again. He shuddered, his eyes rolled back into his head. He arched his body, driving his cock into her grip several more times before he came all over her hand. She resisted the urge to laugh at his suddenly bright red face. She’d just given Jim Kirk a handjob and he was embarrassed.

Licking her lips, she murmured, “I don’t suppose you’d want to return the favor?”

#  #  #

He awoke the next morning to sounds of dripping water near the cave entrance. When he opened his eyes to look for the source, he realized it was raining. Carefully extracting himself from Spock and Nyota’s embrace, he grabbed the two empty canteens and hurried toward the entrance, filling them with water. It would have to be boiled, but if they were conservative, this water could sustain them until they were rescued.

“I’d almost forgotten how beautiful the rain can be,” a soft feminine voice whispered, slipping her free hand into his, lacing their fingers together.

He studied their hands, secretly thrilling at the warmth that spread through him at her touch. The simple gesture made the moment even more peaceful. His gaze met hers and he saw an openness in her eyes that made him smile. He leaned forward, lost in the moment, and brushed his lips against hers. When he moved to pull away, she held him firm, opening her mouth under his.

Her kiss was tender, yet strong, igniting in him a desire to lay her down and explore every inch of her smooth skin with his mouth and his hands. He could easily imagine them in his bed in Iowa as he worshipped her while the rain pelted the rooftop, her caramel legs twisted in the white sheets as she arched into his tongue on her body. She would be achingly responsive to his touch, arching her head back so he could nibble at the sensitive skin of her neck.

He walked her back into the cave, never breaking their kiss as he sat the canteens down at the entrance, and took her face in his hands as he pressed her against the cave wall. Pulling away slightly to catch his breath, he studied her face.

“I love you,” he murmured. “I love you, Nyota Uhura, and God help me, I’m never going to stop because you make me feel things that I’ve never felt for anyone else.”

She sucked in a breath at his admition. “I love you, too,” she choked. “I love you so much. When you sacrificed yourself for the ship...when I thought I’d lost you, I--”

His lips crashed against hers, this kiss more demanding than the last, as though daring her to prove it. She returned it with equal fervor, gasping when she felt wetness on her cheeks. When she pulled back, she saw droplets sliding down Jim’s cheeks.

With tender fingers, he caressed her face, a genuine smile crossing his lips. “I never thought I’d hear you say it,” he admitted. “I still can’t believe this is happening. I’m so worried this is just some amazing dream and that I’m going to wake up in my quarters all alone.”

“You’re never alone,” a male voice whispered in his ear, arms wrapping around his waist from behind, raining kisses along his neck.

Jim sighed and turned his head to meet the Vulcan’s eyes. A shuddering breath stuttered past his lips as he tenderly brushed his lips against Spock’s, gasping in surprise at the static shock that made his lips tingle.

“Spock, I--”

Turning in Spock’s arms, he deepened the kiss, his friend’s lips dry and strong against his. His hands fisted in the black uniform undershirt as the two battled for dominance. Jim gasped in surprise when he felt the wall at his back and Spock’s very obvious erection against his. Rotating his hips only slightly, he moaned at the delicious friction.

“I cherish thee, ashayam,” Spock murmured against his lips. “I would be with thee always if you wish it.”

“Fuck,” Jim groaned, shuddering slightly when Spock mimicked the movement, grinding their erections together. “Yeah, Spock. Want you.”

Using the element of surprise to his advantage, he turned them so that Spock’s back was now against the wall and brought his hands up to cup the man’s face, beginning an exploration of his mouth. Spock allowed him to take control, emitting the occasional sigh or soft moan when Jim found a spot he particularly enjoyed.

“When we get back to Enterprise, we’re going to do this the proper way--in a bed,” he murmured, grasping Spock’s erection through the material of his underwear.

Spock dropped his head back against the wall, his eyes closed and his mouth hanging open as Jim palmed his erection, his hips jerking slightly at the pressure.

“Yes,” Spock hissed.

Jim let Nyota between them and she dropped to her knees, sliding Spock’s underwear down and taking him into her mouth. The Vulcan’s hands grasped her head, guiding her mouth along his cock. Jim’s mouth covered Spock’s, swallowing his gasps as Nyota sucked and licked him to the brink of orgasm. When she sensed through the bond that he was close, she pulled away.

He allowed Jim to turn him and press him against the wall. “I need to be in control, Spock,” he murmured. “But I’ve never done this before, so you’re going to have to help me. I won’t hurt you because you didn’t tell me how to do this right.”

Spock nodded, grasping Jim’s wrist and taking two fingers into his mouth, wetting them, then teased his opening with them. “Slide two fingers inside and use a scissor motion to loosen the ring of muscle,” he rasped, gasping in surprise at the pleasure of the intrusion.

Jim panted for breath as he slid his fingers slowly deeper into Spock, the phantom sensation of his own ass being invaded catching him by surprise. He froze.

“It’s the bond,” Nyota whispered. “We each feel what the other feels.”

Nodding, Jim continued, going just a little bit slower to give himself time to adapt to the new sensation. It seemed like an eternity had passed, but at last he was all the way inside. He pulled out and pushed in again, both he and Spock gasping as Jim hit a familiar piece of anatomy--Spock’s prostate.

“I didn’t think Vulcans had a prostate,” Jim panted.

Spock moaned when Jim’s touch again grazed the mentioned organ. “I am half-Human,” he grunted. “It’s logical that I would inherit certain Human physical traits.”

Jim laughed breathlessly. “Even with my fingers up your ass, you still talk like a damned robot,” he teased.

“Is conversation truly necessary at this moment?” Spock hissed.

Taking the hint, Jim wiggled his fingers experimentally in a scissor-like motion as he’d been instructed, surprised at how easily the muscles gave. He licked his lips. “You’ve done this how many times exactly?”

Grinding against Jim’s fingers with groan, he replied, “This will be my first.”

Jim’s eyes widened. “You’re kidding me, right?”

Spock shook his head vehemently, drawing in a sharp breath. “No,” he deadpanned. “I have, however, done ample research on the subject.”

“Well, shit,” Jim grunted. “Now I’m even more worried.”

“I am ready,” Spock gasped. “Just do it. Please.”

A Vulcan begging. Now that was something he never thought he’d see--or in this case, hear. And this particular Vulcan wasn’t begging for just anything. Spock was practically pleading with Jim to jam his cock into his ass and fuck him with it. His cock twitched and he moaned at the insanity of it. He grasped his erection, teasing Spock’s opening with the head, pushing it in slowly, watching his friend’s expression all the while for any hints of pain or discomfort.

“More,” Spock panted. “It is tolerable. More.”

He pushed a little further, the pressure fading as the head of his cock slid past the taut ring of muscle. With a grunt, he slid in another inch, the world around him spinning at the tight heat of Spock’s ass surrounding his cock. He repeated the warp formula in his head over and over to keep from coming on the spot. When he felt he had himself well enough under control, he thrust the rest of the way in, his knees nearly buckling when the head of his cock brushed Spock’s prostate.

“Fuck,” they groaned simultaneously and Jim laughed nervously.

Ever so slowly, Jim pulled out and slid home again, tearing a choked sound somewhere between a grunt and a growl from Spock’s lips. He could feel the Vulcan trembling beneath him and he released a shuddering breath. There was a trust in the way Spock was surrendering to him. More than anyone, Jim understood how vulnerable this particular position could make a person feel. He pressed several kisses against Spock’s neck both to soothe him and to thank him for his unconditional trust.

“Relax, honey,” Jim murmured. “Let me know if I hurt you.”

Spock inclined his head in agreement and sucked in a sharp breath as Jim pulled out and slowly slid back in. Gradually, Jim felt Spock relax under his touch, surprised when he felt a wave of desire and love roll over him. Right. Vulcans were touch telepaths.

“Jim,” he begged. “Please.”

Jim moved slightly faster, scarcely able to keep his eyes open, his jaw slack from the fire racing through every inch of his body. His mouth again found the skin of Spock’s neck, leaving tender love bites that had Spock thrusting back against him.

“Nem-tor lerash nash-veh,” Spock growled, meeting Jim’s every thrust with something akin to desperation.

Jim grunted and slammed into him harder. “Fuck, I’m gonna--”

His final words were lost as he buried himself deep and shouted Spock’s name as he exploded inside of him. Jim’s legs gave and he leaned against the rock wall, struggling for breath. He sucked in a sharp breath when Spock wriggled his hips slightly, groaning as his softening cock twitched in appreciation.

“Don’t move,” he hissed, panting. “Shit.”

Slowly, he pulled himself free, gasping at the popping sound as cock slipped all of the way out. Unable to support his weight, his legs gave way and he collapsed to the cave floor. Within moments, Spock and Nyota were knelt beside him, her tongue parting his lips to tangle with his as Spock’s mouth and hands teased the sensitive buds of his nipples. He whimpered into her mouth, arching into the heat of Spock’s tongue.

“I can’t--” he begged.

Nyota nibbled at his lips. “Whatever you want, Captain.”

He shuddered at how dirty the word sounded coming from her lips. In an instant, a scene unfolded in his mind of Nyota riding him in the Captain’s chair, taking his orders and all the while saying ‘yes, Captain’. The very thought had him hard again in seconds. Her gaze flew to his lap and she smiled that sultry smile that made his heart miss a beat. Was she was going to stroke him off again?

His eyes widened and he let loose a deep, throaty groan as she instead straddled his hips and began lowering herself onto his cock. It took everything he had not to come right there from the sight and feel of her riding him. His hands flew to her hips and he arched up into her at the precise moment he slammed her down onto him. His eyes slammed shut and he grunted in pleasure.

“Call me Captain again,” he ordered raspily, licking his lips.

She smirked. “Enjoying the ride, _Captain_?”

He groaned. “Fuck, yes. God, you’re so hot and so wet for me, baby. God, fuck, yes, yes, yes!”

The heat of her wrapped around him like fire, burning him alive. And, God help him, he loved it--wanted more. She shifted slightly, the change in angle causing the head of his cock to hit her cervix. A loud keening wail fell from her lips and she threw her head back at the pleasure of it, even as her warm sheath quivered around him.

“Jim!” she screamed. “Oh, God, yes!”

The sound of his name pulled from her lips made him tighten his grip on her hips and pump into her faster. He could usually hold out a lot longer; but with the star of his every fantasy riding him like a prize bull, he soon found himself tumbling over the edge again, her name like a mantra on his lips. His eyelids drooped as he struggled to get oxygen to his starved brain.

“That,” he panted. “was fucking amazing.”

Her lips brushed tender kisses over his temple and his eyelids. “Yeah. It really was,” she breathed.

#  #  #

When Jim awoke a couple hours later, the rain had slowed to a drizzle and the thunder had become a distant echo. He grinned lazily as he tightened his grip on Nyota’s waist, feeling Spock do the same behind him. If anyone ever asked, he’d deny it to the grave; but he kind of liked being in the middle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nem-tor lerash nash-veh translated means literally "Take hard me" or "Take me hard".


	11. Chapter 11

Jim grunted in irritation as the steady beeping grew louder. He was sure he’d yelled at the computer three different times to shut off his chronometer. His eyes opened slowly and it took several moments for him to remember where he was and why. Another few moments passed before his sluggish mind fully processed the sound and what could be making it. The communicator.

His eyes flew open and he scrambled to his feet, darting toward the wall where his discarded trousers lay. He shoved his hands in each of the pockets until he at last pulled the device free. Heart thundering in his chest, he flipped it open and pressed his thumb to the button.

“Kirk to  _Enterprise_ ,” he rasped. “Do you read?”

For a moment after he released the button, there was only static and his heart dropped. When the static cleared, he wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

“Captain?”

He was certain that if Sulu was standing in front of him right now, he’d kiss him.

“Mr. Sulu, when I get back, I’m getting you a damned commendation,” he laughed.

A relieved sigh echoed through the communicator. “You have no idea how pleased I am to hear your voice, sir.”

Jim chuckled. “Oh, I think I have some idea. We’re in a cave in the mountains. Do you have a transporter lock?”

“Aye, sir,” Sulu confirmed. “Ready to transport on your mark.”

Jim glanced over at Spock and Nyota to see them both stirring. Suddenly aware of his own nudity, he added, “I’ll get back to you on that.”

#  #  #

Showered, changed, and full from a hearty meal, Jim stepped onto the bridge grinning from ear to ear. The tension he had carried everyday since his kidnapping was gone, replaced by his usual swagger, earning him greetings and smiles from everyone on the bridge.

Glancing at the Comm and Science stations in turn, he shared a secret smirk with his partners. Spock merely arched an eyebrow and returned to his work, though Jim noticed a slight green tinge to the Vulcan’s ears that hadn’t been there when he’d first arrived, and Nyota returned his smirk, raising an eyebrow in challenge. Jim chuckled and strode toward the Captain’s chair, sliding into it with practised ease.

“Glad to have you back, Captain,” Sulu greeted.

Jim grinned. “Glad to be back, Mr. Sulu.”

#  #  #

Jim frowned as he heard the flush of the toilet for the second time in the last three hours.

“Nyota?” he called

When she didn’t respond, he threw the covers off and padding toward the bathroom. He stepped toward the door, it didn’t open. Locked.

He knocked softly. “Nyota, are you all right?” he murmured.

“I’m fine,” she gasped.

He paused. “It sure as hell doesn’t sound like it. Come on. Let me in.”

“I said I’m fine,” she snapped.

Sighing in irritation, Jim entered the override code. Within moments, the doors slid open to reveal her bent over the toilet clutching it for dear life. He knelt beside her, laying the back of his hand against her forehead.

“Hmm,” he pondered. “No fever.”

She glared at him and parted her lips, presumably to berate him further, but instead turned as another round of bile forced its way out. Sensing her need for comfort through the bond, Jim held her hair back and rubbed his free hand over her back in gentle circles. When she finished, he reached for a washcloth and wetted it in the nearby sink, then pressed it to first her forehead and then her cheeks, repeating the motion until she visibly relaxed.

“Better?” he whispered.

She nodded. “Thanks.”

He offered her a charming Jim Kirk smile before brushing his lips over hers. “That’s what I’m here for.”

“Ugh,” she teased. “Don’t do that. I just yakked my guts out.”

He shrugged. “So?” He pulled out his communicator, cutting off her protests. “You’ve been sick like this for days. You need to let Bones take a look at you.”

She scowled. “Fine.”

She made to stand, gasping in surprise when Jim swept her into his arms bride-over-the-threshold style.

“Chauvinist."

Ignoring the comment, Jim carried her to the Medbay.

#  #  #

By the time Jim got there, McCoy was waiting with an anti-nausea hypo, which he pressed into Nyota’s neck after Jim sat her down. McCoy asked the usual round of questions.

He hesitated, then warned, “These next couple of questions are...a bit more personal. If you don’t feel comfortable answering them with Jim here, I can--”

Nyota shook her head. “No. It’s fine. Jim’s my partner. I--”

At that precise moment, the doors to the Medbay swished open and Spock stood beside her in seconds, her hand clasped tightly in his.

“Are you well, ashayam?” he murmured, a slight edge of panic in his voice.

She glared a Jim briefly before returning her attention to Spock, her features softening as her lips tilted upwards to form a smile. “I’ve been kind of nauseous lately, is all. Nothing to worry about.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” McCoy countered. “You’re sure you want these two here for this?” At her nod, he continued. Much to her embarrassment, he asked about bowel movements, stomach upset and gassiness. He then glanced at the PADD. “All right. When was your last birth control shot?”

She was silent for a few moments. Suddenly, Jim and Spock both doubled over as an overwhelming wave of anxiety and panic hit them through the bond.

“What?” Jim gasped, struggling to push it away. “What’s wrong?”

A brilliant flush lit her cheeks. “I was supposed to get it the day before we got trapped on that planet. I meant to get it when we got back, but I was just so sick that I never got around to it.”

His mind raced and his legs gave underneath him, forcing him to grab the edge of the biobed for support.

 _No, no, no,_  he thought.  _Not now! Not yet! We’ve barely been together a week!_

Though Spock hadn’t lost motor control like Jim had, the shock he was feeling reflected plain as day in his eyes.

McCoy cursed a streak. “You’ve gotta be freakin’ kidding me!” He motioned to Nurse Chapel. “Get me a tricorder and a monitor.”

Within moments, he had the tricorder calibrated and the monitor set to the tricorder’s frequency.

“Lift your shirt and slide the waist of your trousers down for me, darlin’,” he murmured.

Nyota, still in shock, did as McCoy asked and laid back on the bed, grasping both Jim and Spock’s hands tightly. McCoy made several passes over her abdomen before pausing.

“See that?” he said pointing to the screen. “You, Ms. Uhura, are expecting a little bundle of joy. Based on development, I’d put you at 6 weeks.”

Jim froze, doing the math in his head. “That was before Nyota and I ever--”

Spock tensed. “Conception is not possible between Humans and Vulcans without a great deal of medical intervention.”

At Nyota’s hurt look, both men shook their heads vehemently. “We’re not saying--”

“You’re sure as hell thinking it,” she murmured.

Jim grasped her hand tightly, opening his mind to her. “I’m not. I swear.”

At Jim’s glance, Spock did the same. “I would never suspect you of such a thing,” he soothed.

Nyota relaxed and McCoy continued his scans. His brow furrowed. “That can’t be right,” he muttered jamming the device against his palm. He scanned again. He threw the device aside and gruffly ordered Nurse Chapel to bring him another tricorder, performing the scan for a third time. His eyes widened. “I don’t know how the hell it’s possible, but not only is this kid both Vulcan AND Human, some of its genetic traits are a dead match for Jim’s.”

Jim’s expression tightened and he felt everyone’s eyes on him waiting for his reaction. His pulled his hand from Nyota’s grip and strode from the Medbay with Nyota staring after him, grimacing as the hurt consumed her. Spock’s features became unreadable and his eyes darkened.

McCoy cleared his throat. “Spock, go check on him. Uhura, let’s get you a full work up. We’re going to need to start you on some supplements to keep your body from hurting the baby. From there, we’ll get you on a dietary and exercise plan to keep you and the baby healthy.”

But Nyota wasn’t focused on anything McCoy was saying. She was pregnant with Jim and Spock's baby.

#  #  #

Jim paced in front of the port window, running his hands through his hair, grasping and tugging in a soothing motion. Bones was wrong. The kid couldn’t be his. Unless--.

He froze, running through the memories of their last mission. He was completely blanking on what happened between beaming down to the planet and being chased by the natives. Why the hell had they been running? Something told him that if he could recover those memories, they’d have their answer. He ran through a list of ways to do so, but kept coming back to mind-meld. It was probably the easiest and most accurate way to find out the truth.

A subtle caress at the back of his mind made him start. His gaze jerked toward the doorway to find Spock standing there. The barriers fell and he was hit with an overpowering wave of shame, guilt, rejection...He slammed his face into the wall.

“I did it again, didn’t I?” he murmured. “Shit, Spock. I’m sorry. I didn’t even realize what I was doing.” Before Spock could speak, Jim cut him off. “I know. Let’s go.”

Spock relaxed and the two then headed back to the Medbay.

#  #  #

Jim rushed inside, taking Nyota’s hand in his. “I'm so sorry." He wiped the drops of moisture from her cheeks, kissing her forehead. "I'm so, so sorry."

She nodded. “While you were gone, Leo did another scan,” she murmured. “It’s not just one baby, it’s two. We’re having twins.”

Jim gaped. “Holy shit!”

Spock arched an eyebrow. “Such an occurrence is unheard of on Vulcan. Perhaps the Doctor’s equipment is malfunctioning.”

“They’re part Human, too, remember,” Jim murmured. “Besides, it runs in my family on my mom’s side. My cousins Becky and Billy.”

McCoy re-entered the room, carrying a handful of hypos. Even before they were administered, Jim winced. Checking her biosigns one more time, McCoy nodded.

“Looks good,” he concluded. “But you’re on light duty unless I say otherwise.” Nyota opened her mouth to protest, but McCoy cut her off. “From what I understand, the ambassador’s wife spent most of her pregnancy on bedrest. Given the stress of carrying twins, part Vulcan ones at that, you’ll be lucky if you don’t end up doing the same. Now, given that I have no recollection of manipulating the genetics of a fertilized egg nor performing in-vitro on young Ms. Uhura here, do you three mind telling me how in the Sam Hill she got knocked up in the first place?”

“We don’t know,” Jim murmured. “But I’m missing a big chunk of time from that last away mission. Maybe if Spock can perform a mind-meld--”

Spock straightened. “Given the results of my last attempt, I don’t feel comfortable--”

Jim shook his head. “Not you. The other you. He might be able to recover any repressed memories. If we can dig them up, maybe we can find out what happened down there and why someone didn’t want us to remember.” He flipped open his communicator and pressed his thumb to the button. “Kirk to Bridge. Set a course for New Vulcan. Maximum warp.”

“Aye, sir,” Sulu quipped.

Jim’s gaze then returned to Nyota. “In the meantime, you’re coming back to my quarters where you’re to rest and nothing else.” When she opened her mouth to protest, he interrupted her. “Do I have to make it an order, Lieutenant?”

She glared at him. He knew she hated it when he pulled the Captain card. “No, sir.” She then re-covered her abdomen and slid off of the biobed onto her feet, shoving away both sets of hands as they reached for her. “If you want those to stay attached, you’d best keep them to yourselves,” she snapped. Without looking back, she exited the Medbay leaving Spock and Jim staring after her.

“Good luck,” McCoy chuckled, moving toward his office.

Both men gave each other an exasperated look and followed her.


	12. Chapter 12

Older Spock’s brow furrowed in thought. “Fascinating.”

Jim tensed. “We were violated, our memories were wiped and all you can say is ‘fascinating’?”

“I apologize, Jim,” he murmured. “I was referring to your proposal of a mind-meld to recover the memories. It would require delving deeper into your mind than I have ever attempted and such an attempt would present its own unique challenges. All barriers would need to be removed and due to the nature of what you ask, the chances of my being exposed to some of your more private thoughts and memories increase by 45.7 percent. I believe it’s also best that you maintain physical contact with your Spock and your Uhura during this process should the need arise to break the meld prematurely.”

Jim nodded. “I understand. But we were used and we deserve to know why.”

“If that is your wish, Jim,” Older Spock conceded. “Then I shall do everything in my power to ensure that you learn all you need to know.”

The older Vulcan touched the tips of his fingers to the psi points on Jim’s face, murmuring, “My mind to your mind. My thoughts...to your thoughts.”

#  #  #

_“I thank you for your kindness, Captain,” Kogav murmured. “It is likely I would not have been able to continue my experiments had you not provided me with the supplies I needed.”_

_Jim grinned. “Happy to help.”_

_Kogav paused. “I wonder if you, your First Officer and your Communications Officer would stay for the evening meal so that we might discuss your Federation. It sounds most interesting. Perhaps I can even submit a proposal to my race’s government for a more formal meeting.”_

_In the interests of diplomacy, Jim accepted despite his bondmate’s reservations. Sure, Kogav seemed a little eccentric; but the man lived alone with the exception of a female android companion. Scientists like him who had little exposure to Humanoids tended to be socially awkward._

_The four sat around a table indulging in a beverage very similar to mead as the female android prepared the meal while Jim gave him the standard speech on Federation membership and its many benefits, but the scientist seemed more interested in the details of Human and Vulcan biology. He and Nyota explained the differences between male and female Humans while Spock offered a few pieces of seemingly unimportant information about Vulcan biology._

_“Most enlightening,” Kogav murmured. “Your species are so different from one another and yet you are surprisingly alike in both your form and your evolution.”_

_To appease Spock’s curiosity more than his own, Jim asked about Alkian biology. Kogav replied with pride and enthusiasm as he discussed the various attributes of his race, from their webbed hands to the large vertical ridge that ran the length of his forehead down to the tip of his nose._

_Spock arched an eyebrow. “Fascinating.”_

_Jim’s brow furrowed at the sarcastic note that entered the Vulcan’s voice. Spock gave him a tolerant look, but said nothing. Sighing, Jim returned his attention to their host. The topic of biology worn out, Kogav spoke of his homeworld and its government structure._

_When the meal arrived several minutes later, Jim, not wanting to offend their host promptly sampled one of the five items on the plate. He glanced at Spock and Nyota, encouraging them to do the same. Nyota tried a bite of a halved fruit that resembled a plum. From her puckered lips, it was anything but sweet._

_Following Nyota’s example, Spock took a bite of the same fruit, arching an eyebrow at the flavor. Curious, Jim also took a bite of the fruit on his plate. He grimaced slightly at the initial sour flavor, which, to his surprise, slowly gave way to a dark sweetness that reminded him of dark chocolate._

_#  #  #_

Gasping, Jim snapped his eyes open and older Spock lowered his hand wearing a puzzled expression.

“I’ve seen enough,” Jim rasped. His hands clenched in his hair, and he stared at the wall with glazed eyes. “He--the fruit, it--he made us--”

Dozens of thoughts raced through his mind, first and foremost was that he had essentially raped the woman he loved more than anything and had done so repeatedly without even considering that he was hurting her.

“Jim,” Spock interrupted. “You are not responsible for your actions. The fruit obviously contained an agent that acted on our systems to induce a mating frenzy similar to Pon-Farr.”

Jim froze. “You remember?”

“Recalling the fruit triggered certain memories, yes,” Spock murmured. “Though I may not recollect every detail, I remember enough.”

Jim’s gaze flew to Nyota and she grimaced, but nodded. A pained look crossed his face and he tugged harder. He flinched when a pair of soft arms wrapped around his shoulders and he broke. Burying his face in her shoulder, he sobbed openly.

“I’m sorry,” he rasped. “God, Nyota, I’m so sorry.”

“Shh,” she murmured, running her fingers soothingly through his hair. “It’s not your fault, Jim. Let it go. Just let it go. Stop blaming yourself.”

Jim shook his head vehemently. “I’m no better than him.”

Her lips tightened and she gripped his chin, forcing his eyes to meet hers. “Yes, you are. You’re nothing like him,” she hissed. “Do you think he felt one ounce of remorse for what he did? No. And yet here you are eaten alive with guilt over something that was out of your control. You wouldn’t have done what you did if you hadn’t been under the influence of a severe reaction to an alien drug. You’re not Frank. You’re Jim Kirk. You’ve got a conscience and compassion to spare. You’re nothing like that monster.”

A hand rested at the small of his back and he looked up to find Spock knelt beside him. Suddenly embarrassed, he turned away. The Vulcan nuzzled his neck.

“Upon our next visit to Earth, I will find and asphyxiate the evil man who has hurt you so,” Spock murmured. “For you to think of yourself as anything less than the most courageous, compassionate individual I have ever known is utterly unacceptable and the man who has done this to you doesn’t deserve life.”

Spock and Nyota each laid a hand on his cheek and he thought he was going to explode from the strength of the joy, love and happiness being echoed to him through the bond. His throat tightened and he sobbed harder.

“What did I do so right to deserve you both?” he choked.

Nyota smiled. “You were you. That’s all.”

“I love you both so much,” he murmured.

Spock pressed a tender kiss behind Jim’s ear and he shuddered. “And we you, ashayam.”

“You call me and Nyota that a lot,” he observed. “What’s it mean?”

“Beloved,” Spock replied. “It is used most often among bondmates.”

A goofy grin spread across Jim’s lips. “‘Beloved’. I like it.”

#  #  #

The moment Jim stepped onto the bridge, he ordered Sulu to set a course for Rivali III, the planet where they had stumbled upon the Alkian scientist. Spock arched an eyebrow and Nyota frowned.

Jim tensed. “He needs to be brought to justice so he can’t hurt anyone else.”

The journey there took almost three days, giving Jim plenty of time to reflect on the memories Older Spock had been able to recover. At first, the mere thought of the pain Kogav had inflicted upon his bondmates made him want to break something. But if there was anything he’d learned from Spock it was that anger and hate bred a desire for revenge and all revenge did was lead to more pain and hate.

Jim hadn’t slept well at all that night and even the strongest, blackest coffee the resequencer could produce didn’t stave off his inner asshole. He’d even made an ensign cry. Of course, he’d felt like shit and apologized promptly afterwards.

Sighing in frustration an hour into a second night of the same insomnia, he caved and made his way to Spock’s quarters, arriving to find the Vulcan in the middle of meditation. He hesitated a moment.

“Spock, can I meditate with you?”

He understood the basic tenants and the reason for meditation. Maybe it would help him come to terms with what had happened to him.

Spock arched an eyebrow, clearly surprised. “If you are having difficulty sleeping, perhaps you can obtain an aid from Doctor McCoy.”

Jim grimaced. “I’m allergic to the key ingredient,” he explained. “It’s okay, though. I’ll just--”

Spock grasped Jim’s arm as he turned to leave. “Jim,” he said quickly. “You are always welcome to join me. I didn’t mean that you couldn’t stay if you wished. It’s simply that meditation is an art that requires much patience and focus, neither of which you have in ample supply at the moment.”

Smirking, Jim replied, “I’ll take that as a challenge, Mr. Spock.”

A slight smile turned up the corners of the Vulcan’s lips and he stepped aside, motioning his bondmate inside. Spock then retrieved another mat and laid it on the floor on the other side of the candle. Both men then slid to the deck, crossing their legs. Releasing a heavy breath, Jim laid his hands on his knees and followed Spock’s instructions, focusing on the flame of the candle, attempting to clear all thoughts from his mind. But random thoughts still flitted through. Jim grunted in frustration, relaxing only when he felt the familiar caress of Spock’s mind against his.

_Relax, ashayam,_ came Spock’s voice. _You are only in the first stages. Allow your mind freedom. Do not attempt to control the thoughts and do not focus on them. Focus only on the flame and your breathing pattern._

Dozens of images flashed by until he found the memory he sought. He locked in on it, allowing the emotions to fill him as he understood what particular element of the memory evoked each.

_Good_ , Spock praised. _Now imagine placing them into a water-bound vessel. Release the vessel and allow it to drift toward the horizon. As the distance grows, the feelings will fade. Let go of what you feel, but keep the understanding and insight you have gained from this experience and these feelings with you._

When Jim next opened his eyes, he saw that the candle had melted to almost nothing. Even more amazing was the peace that he felt.

“Wow,” he murmured. “That was a lot easier than I expected. I don’t normally do very good with sitting for long periods of time like that.”

Spock inclined his head. “As is to be expected with your species,” he acknowledged. “However, it would appear that whatever forces adapted your mind to receive the bond have also made it possible for you to focus more adeptly should you desire something enough.” 

Jim’s brow furrowed. “So you’re saying that because I wanted to deal with my emotions, I was more able to?”

“Essentially, yes.”

He extinguished the flame and leaned forward, capturing the Vulcan’s lips with his.

“Know what I want right now?” he murmured. Spock’s eyes darkened and Jim chuckled. “I can see you do, but I’ll tell you anyway. I want you to take me to bed and show me how a real man treats his partner.”

Illogically, Spock pressed his lips hungrily to Jim’s, devouring his lips as they were the sweetest candy. “As you wish, my Jim.”


	13. Chapter 13

Jim awoke the next morning to Spock’s lips trailing kisses down his throat, nipping at the skin playfully.

“Well good morning to you, too, Spock,” he murmured, gasping at a particularly hard nip.

Tangling his hands in his lover’s hair, Jim groaned at the overwhelming desire flooding his mind through the bond. He tried to tug Spock upwards to his mouth, but the obstinate Vulcan latched onto one of Jim’s nipples instead. Searing heat raced through Jim’s body at the unexpected pleasure of Spock’s warm mouth surrounding the pebble.

“Oh God,” he grunted. “If you’re that talented with your mouth...”

Jim didn’t need to finish his sentence. The corresponding image appeared in his mind’s eye and he nearly came when he sensed Spock’s surge of arousal.

“I take it you’re not opposed to the idea,” he panted.

Spock hesitated in his movements, his gaze locking with Jim’s as he arched an eyebrow. “If it would please you, ashayam, then nothing would give me greater contentment.”

Before Jim could protest, Spock had his underwear around his ankles. Jim shivered at the warmth of his partner’s breath lingering over his rock-hard erection. His hands shook as they wove deeper into Spock’s fine strands, using his grip as a way to ground himself in preparation for what was about to happen.

Even knowing what Spock was going to attempt didn’t stop the shock to his system as a searing hot mouth surrounded his cock completely. He fought the urge to thrust upward, afraid he might choke Spock. It was complete ecstasy seeing his First Officer between his legs, the man’s pert lips slightly green as he bobbed up and down on Jim’s cock. In that moment, Jim let go of every ounce of doubt, fear, pain, anger and loneliness he’d felt for the last two months, allowing his other senses to take over.

His heart missed a beat as he studied the angle of the dimmed lights as they struck Spock’s face. There was a determination in his lover’s eyes entwined with a depth of love Jim had once doubted even existed. He sucked in a sharp breath as waves of feeling from the bond resonated through every inch of him.

_Loveadorationcompassiondesireyesmineyesyesyes._

“Yours,” Jim choked, groaning at the feeling of Spock’s rough, hot tongue joining his mouth in its exploration of his cock. “Shit, Spock, I’m going to--”

Before Jim could warn him, his climax overtook him and he was floating, his heart pounding in his ears as his focus narrowed to the convulsions of his lover’s throat as the man swallowed every ounce without spilling a drop.

Jim chuckled. “That’s a nice way to wake up.”

“I’m nothing if not attentive,” Spock murmured, devouring Jim’s lips.

Normally, he wasn’t one for post-fellatio kissing; but something about the way his taste mingled with Spock’s was almost addicting. Jim pulled back, stroking his lover’s cheek with the back of his hand.

“I hate to do this,” he sighed. “But I need to shower or we’re going to be late for our shifts.”

Spock inclined his head. “Understood.”

Grinning, Jim slid from his lover’s grasp and ran for the bathroom, turning on the water as the doors slid shut behind him.

#  #  #

Jim slid into the captain’s chair wearing a permanent grin, earning him several stares from the bridge crew. He acknowledged each with a good morning and a request for a status report. However, his good mood evaporated the moment Sulu announced their arrival. He ordered them into standard orbit, an unreadable expression crossing his face.

“Lieutenant, hail Dr. Kogav.”

Nyota nodded, then entered a series of commands into the console in front of her. A tense silence filled the bridge as she repeated attempted to make contact with the surface. After several long minutes, she shook her head.

“No response, Captain,” she murmured.

His lips tightened. “Mr. Spock, Mr. Sulu. You’re with me. Lieutenant Uhura, you have the conn.”

Spock arched an eyebrow. “Captain, given that we are uncertain of the situation on the planet’s surface, you should stay behind while myself, Mr. Sulu and Mr. Chekov investigate.”

“I’m going,” Jim snapped. “End of discussion. You can follow my orders, Mr. Spock, or security can escort you to the brig until we get back. Your choice.”

Without waiting for the Vulcan’s reply, Jim strode toward the lift and stepped inside. Arching an eyebrow, Spock followed silently as did Sulu.

 _Be careful, Jim,_ Nyota sighed.

She then strode to the center of the bridge, sliding hesitantly into the chair. Spock would keep their bondmate from doing something stupid. She only hoped that the confrontation didn’t destroy all the progress that Jim had made in putting his past abuse at the hands of his uncle behind him.

#  #  #

Phaser in hand, Jim made to disintegrate the lock on the door surprised to find it open. Remaining alert for any signs of danger, he pushed it open slowly, wincing at the long, loud squeal of the hinges. Any thoughts of splitting the group left his mind at the determined expression on Spock’s face. Sighing, Jim motioned for Sulu to go one direction and, knowing that his First Officer wouldn’t have it any other way, motioned for Spock to follow him.

The deeper they explored, the more Jim noticed the unsettling quiet. It set him on edge. His gaze flickered to familiar objects, each invoking its own memory. Pushing the anxiety and the fear to the back of his mind, he focused on his anger. It was the only way he’d be able to face the man responsible for this mess.

He stiffened when he heard low moaning a short distance away, following the sound to the room he recognized as the one where he, Spock and Nyota had been locked. Leveling his phaser, he pushed the door open, faltering slightly at the sight of Kogav on the floor surrounded by what he presumed to be his own blood. One look at the man and he knew. Kogav was dying.

His anger faded and his throat tightened at the fear in the Doctor’s eyes. He grimaced. He didn’t want to feel sorry for him. The man was getting no less than he deserved. God only knew how many other people he’d experimented on. Against his will, he found himself laying his weapon down and kneeling beside Kogav, forcing the man to look him in the eye.

He asked one simple question. “Why?”

To Kogav’s credit, the scientist didn’t pretend not to know him or what he meant by the question. The man frowned, thoughtful.

“To save my people,” he murmured. “All of the males of my species were sterilized by a massive nuclear war that enveloped my planet. I had hoped that by studying methods to combine the DNA of another race with our own, that I might find a way to bring my people back from the brink of extinction. We were desperate.” Tears slid down his cheeks, the remorse in the man’s eyes shaking Jim to his core. “But nothing can excuse what I have done to you and your friends. I have no doubt I will pay for my crimes when I face judgement at the hands of the Creator. I’m glad that others have done what you surely came to do, sparing you the fires of the After. A heart as pure as yours doesn’t deserve such a fate.”

His lips forming a thin line, Jim replied, “I didn’t come here to kill you. On my world, even our worst criminals receive a fair trial before being sentenced. That’s why I came back.”

Kogav’s eyes widened. “Despite my obvious guilt, you would show me such mercy?” he rasped.

Jim nodded sharply. “To paraphrase one of my planet’s well-known leaders, ‘Mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice’.”

“I only hope that the answers I have given you,” Kogav gasped. “Will bring you the peace you desire and that you can move forward knowing that justice has been served by the ultimate Judge.”

The man’s gaze became suddenly unfocused and he exhaled sharply as death stole his last breath. Jim remained for a few moments before picking up his phaser and rising to his feet, then striding toward the computer which he presumed contained the man’s research. He raised the weapon and pointed it at the screen with the intention of destroying every bit of data, but he faltered. The man had given his life for his people. Had done what no one else would do. He’d sacrificed himself for the greater good.

Jim remembered a time when he’d made a similar choice. Wasn’t he alive because of illegal and unethical science? Sighing, he lowered his weapon and pulled a PADD from his pocket and initiated a download of all relevant data. Hacking a little deeper into the system, he discovered information about Kogav’s home planet. It reminded him a lot of Earth with it’s deep blue oceans and green landmasses.

“Captain?” Spock questioned.

Jim bowed his head. “We’ve got to get this information to his homeworld. Hopefully it’s not too late.” Seeing the question in his First Officer’s eyes, Jim smiled wanly. “Two wrongs don’t make a right, Mr. Spock, and this man’s people shouldn’t be punished for his choices.”

“You idolize his efforts?”

“He made the choice that nobody ever wants to make,” Jim murmured. “And he did what he set out to do, to hell with the consequences. There’s something to be said for that.”

#  #  #

“Captain’s log,” Jim began. “Stardate 2260.93. We were able to successfully deliver Dr. Kogav’s findings to his homeworld. With any luck, they’ll be able to make sense of them and use them to change their fate. Meanwhile, Enterprise has been recalled to Earth for the trial of Raax Dookal, the xenophobic Berellian scientist responsible for the kidnapping and torture of several Humanoids, including myself. I’ve been asked to testify against him at his trial on Stardate 2261.01. We are currently a week from Earth at maximum warp and expect to arrive about a week before Christmas. In light of recent events, Starfleet has authorized a home shoreleave for all personnel of three weeks while the Enterprise undergoes a refit and I attend Dookal’s trial. Computer end recording and save log.”

The computer chirped in acknowledgement. “Log saved.”

At that moment, the doors to his ready room parted to reveal both Spock and Nyota. Sighing, he slid off his reading glasses and motioned for them to sit. He’d been expecting this since the briefing this morning during which Admiral Archer had given them their new orders.

“I’m fine,” he reassured them, answering their unasked question. Spock arched an eyebrow disbelievingly. “I am. It’s not like I didn’t kind of expect it. Of course they want me to testify. We’re the ones who turned him in.”

Nyota frowned. “Jim, no one would blame you if you didn’t want to face him after what he did.”

Shaking his head, Jim replied, “No. I made that mistake with Frank and I’m still paying for it. I have to confront him and everything that he did. It’s the only way I’m going to be able to put it behind me. I won’t let it control me. If I can’t face my own fears, then I can’t in good conscience ask my crew to do the same.”

She smiled, squeezing his hand supportively. “Then we’re going with you to the hearing. You won’t face him alone.”

“Thanks,” he murmured. “I’m not gonna lie. The thought of--it scares the hell out of me. But, like I said, I have to do this.”


	14. Chapter 14

Since the crew weren’t going to be together for the holidays as they had been the last couple of years, Jim gave in to Sulu’s insistence that they celebrate early. Surprisingly, it had only taken the enthusiastic young Lieutenant two days to plan the party.

Civilian dress had been the order of the day, for which Jim was infinitely glad. Uniforms didn’t exactly encourage relaxation. He wore a blue wrap-around tunic tucked into brown trousers and a pair of black Doc Marten boots. Just as he re-entered the living room, the familiar ring of the door chime filled the space.

“Enter,” he called.

He swallowed roughly at the sight before him, Spock’s attire the most surprising. To his recollection, he’d never seen the Vulcan wear anything but his uniform or his meditation robes and yet, he stood in a pair of loose brown trousers that defied the entire purpose of loose with the way they hugged his slim hips, a long-sleeve royal purple tunic and an open brown vest, completed with a pair of black shoes.

Nyota, to her credit, looked absolutely breathtaking in the dark red velvet off-the-shoulder long gown that she wore, her normal updo gone as loose curls caressed the skin that the gown didn’t cover. Large golden hoops hung from her ears, accentuating the gold rings encircling her wrist.

“You both look incredible,” he rasped.

She fingered his tunic with a sultry smile. “You don’t look so bad yourself,” she murmured, brushing her lips against his.

A goofy grin crossed his face. “It’s not nice to tease, honey,” he joked.

“Who says I’m teasing, _dear_?” she replied huskily.

A flush crept into Jim’s cheeks. “If we don’t show up, they’re going to wonder where we are.”

She chuckled. “Later, then. If you can wait that long.”

“You’re not going to like the flip side of this, you know,” he murmured.

If Jim didn’t know any better, he would say that she was secretly part Vulcan. That eyebrow arch was almost a dead replica of Spock’s. “Who says I won’t?”

“All right,” Jim groused. “Drop it or it’ll take an official order to get me to let you both out of that bed before the next decade. Let’s go.”

Nyota walked between them, one hand hooked into the crook of Jim’s arm and the other into Spock’s.

 

#  #  #

The familiar buzz echoed through every cell of his body as the alcohol took effect. He laughed more easily, spoke more freely and exchanged a lewd joke or two that he normally wouldn’t have indulged in for fear of offending the female crewmembers. Even Spock indulged in what he explained to be dark chocolate liqueur as alcohol itself didn’t affect members of his species; though from the looks of it, his human half meant he got inebriated from alcohol more easily than full-blooded Vulcans.

Within an hour, Spock’s speech was almost more slurred than Jim’s and his balance seemed to be quickly abandoning him as he swayed unsteadily in Jim’s direction each time he attempted to stand up just a little bit straighter. Much to the crew’s shock, Spock even laughed at a couple of Jim’s more off-color jokes, going so far as to offer his own opinion. Jim glanced at Nyota who shook her head, grinning from ear to ear.

“Is he always like this when he’s drunk?” Jim murmured.

She chuckled. “Only when he lets himself go. He can control the effects if he really wants to.”

Jim raised an eyebrow at that piece of information. “So do you think he’s letting himself act this blitzed or is it really beyond his ability to control it?”

“Maybe a bit of both,” she grinned. “Hey, did you notice your accent is a little heavier when you’re drunk?”

His brow furrowed. “Are you sure you haven’t had one too many yourself? I don’t have an accent.”

“Linguist, remember?” she teased. “You have a slight Midwest inflection and you accentuate vowels a bit more. I can’t believe I didn’t notice it when we first met.”

He smirked. “I’d say you were kinda focused on other things.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” she teased with a playful shove. The smirk transformed into a suggestive leer and she couldn’t help but laugh. “Arrogant ass.”

He leaned forward, whispering into her ear so quietly that only she could hear, “I don’t recall you complaining when you were groping it last night.”

Her cheeks colored. “What happened to low profile?” she murmured.

“You’re so damn sexy,” he replied in a gravelly voice.  “Can you really blame me for not being able to keep my hands to myself? Just looking at you has me hard as steel.”

Suddenly aware of his arousal digging insistently into her hip, she sucked in a sharp breath. “Jim,” she gasped softly.

His lips were millimeters from hers and he licked his own lips nervously. Just as he leaned in to kiss her, however, McCoy’s drunken announcement acted like a bucket of cold water. Jim caught the words “Secret Santa” in the mix and grinned. As Captain, his name had been left out of the draw, but this didn’t stop him from enjoying everyone else’s reactions. Besides, he, Spock and Nyota had agreed to exchange gifts later in the privacy of their quarters.

McCoy squinted as he struggled to read off the first name. “N-ny-ota.” The Doctor gaped slightly when Nyota stepped forward to claim the gift and Jim laughed so hard that his sides ached. Glaring at Jim, McCoy moved on to the next name. “Scotty.” He continued until all the gifts had been handed out.

Jim glanced over at Nyota to see her admiring a mustard yellow wool scarf and gloves. His brow furrowed, his confused gaze met Spock’s. From the Vulcan’s expression, it was clear the gift wasn’t from him. His eyes scanned the room and he saw his Academy friend Gary Mitchell staring right at her wearing a satisfied smile at her obvious delight with the gift.

A surge of jealousy overwhelmed his good sense and he hugged Nyota tighter to him, his arm resting possessively around her waist. He was relieved when Spock stepped directly into Mitchell’s path, presenting him with his back. Discreetly, the tips of his fingers connected with Spock’s as he imitated a Vulcan kiss, using his eidetic memory to perform it exactly as Spock had. The Vulcan sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes locking with Jim’s, his pupils dilated slightly from the desire echoing through the bond.

Suddenly, he pulled his hand away, staring at the package in his freehand. Studying the box for a moment, he then opened it and searched for the contents. At first, Jim was worried that it was going to be another wildly inappropriate gift and was relieved when Spock pulled out a PADD containing a Terran novel he’d expressed interest in reading. Spock’s gaze locked with McCoy’s and he nodded his approval. McCoy grinned.

An awkwardness followed after everyone had opened their presents and Jim knew, as Captain, he was expected to remedy it. He moved toward the nearest console and entered a series of commands. A moment later, the opening strains of _Here Comes Santa Claus_ echoed in the room and he returned to his bondmates, extending his hand to Uhura.

“Would you like to dance, Lieutenant?” he asked with a smile.

Grinning, she slid her hand into his and they both moved to the center of the room. They took a waltz stance and Jim silently counted them off before easing them into a slight rock variation of the familiar dance, spinning her out and back into him every so often before they again resumed the waltz position. Before long, other members of the crew were pairing off to join them. The song eventually faded, leading into the milder tones of _It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas_. He felt a hand rest on his shoulder and he turned to find Spock standing behind him. Chuckling, he released Nyota’s hand and stepped to the side.

Spock took his place, moving to the rhythm of the music. His steps were smoother in comparison to those of Jim’s rocking waltz. Jim studied their movements, enthralled with the sensuality of their hips brushing against one another. Glancing around the room, he noticed it was drawing the stares of male and female crewmembers alike. He felt another brief surge of jealousy, but pushed the feeling to the back of his mind at Chekov’s curious stare.

Grabbing a glass of wine from a nearby tray, he took half of the beverage down in one swallow, hoping that if he was drunk enough he wouldn’t see the looks his bondmates were getting. He was already fighting the temptation to cross the floor and kiss them both breathless in a blatant show of possessiveness, certain no one would dare try to take what was his. At Nyota’s surprised expression, he blushed. _Sorry_ , he mouthed.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mitchell approach and gesture to Nyota. Spock arched an eyebrow before stepping aside and allowing Mitchell to take his place. Any control Jim had regained over the green monster clawing at his insides went to hell in that moment and he lost it when Mitchell’s hand rested far too intimately at her waist. Before he was aware of moving, he found himself pushing through the crowd, stepping between Mitchell and Nyota.

“I think you’re enjoying yourself just a little too much, Mr. Mitchell,” he ground out. “I’d suggest you find yourself another partner.”

“I don’t believe the lady was objecting, Captain,” Mitchell leered.

Jim’s lips tightened. “I don’t give a damn what you believe, Mitchell,” he spat. “I know your games better than anyone and I’m not going to let you play them with Nyota.”

Mitchell scowled. “With respect, _sir_ , I’m not playing any game.”

“Bullshit,” Jim growled. “You haven’t had a single serious relationship in the three years I’ve known you and you don’t have any interest in one either.”

“You wanna know what I think?” Mitchell hissed. “I think you’re fucking her on the side and don’t want to let anyone else in on the action.”

Jim saw red. The familiar crunch of breaking bones reached his ears as his fist made contact with Mitchell’s jaw. The young man stumbled and grabbed his jaw, a stunned expression replacing the smug one. Pushing aside the throbbing pain in his knuckles, he gasped when feelings of pride, desire and amusement overwhelmed him. He looked up to find his mates staring at him with a mixture of awe and barely suppressed glee.

“I hate to interrupt your fun, Bones,” he called. “But Mr. Mitchell here might have a damaged jaw. In fact, you might have to wire it shut until it heals.”

“What a shame,” Nyota murmured, concealing a grin.

He grimaced at the thought of the rumors that would no doubt be added to the mill by tomorrow. The last thing they needed was for the Admiralty to find out about their bond. He was more thankful than he cared to admit when Chekov and Sulu diverted the others’ attention with the mention of Christmas carols.

Feeling the beginnings of a migraine coming on and suddenly embarrassed at his barbaric overreaction, Jim made his excuses and headed back to his quarters.


	15. Chapter 15

Jim scrubbed his hands over his face. “Shit, I can’t believe I did that. I’ve been wanting to since I met the bastard, but I still can’t believe I actually did it. Damn, what if he decides to press charges? At best, I’ll loose Enterprise and at worst, they’ll force me to resign my commission.”

Nyota shook her head. “I don’t think he’ll do anything because he knows I’ll bring him up on charges of sexual harassment if he does. It’s his ass on the line, too. I’m sure he realizes that.”

He nodded and sighed. “I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I am,” she smirked, then shoved a box into his hands. “Now open your gift.”

Chuckling, he tore at the wrapping and opened the box. Inside was a round bronze amulet with a garnet at the center, indiscernible engravings encircling it. He cradled it in his hands, assuming by the leather string that hung from it that it was meant to be worn around his neck.

“This is amazing,” he murmured. “Did you make this?”

She nodded, tracing the etchings with the tip of her finger. “Swahili men wear these to protect themselves from evil spirits and enemies. The words, loosely translated, mean ‘faith’, ‘mercy’, ‘respect’, ‘trust’, ‘truth’, ‘loyalty’, and ‘love’. From childhood, these are instilled in us as the basis for a successful marriage. Without any one of them, the marriage will fail. Carry it with you and you will always have a piece of our hearts--mine and Spock’s--wherever you go.”

His gaze fell to the amulet cradled like a delicate flower in his hands. Never had such a simple gift meant so much to him.

“Nyota, Spock,” he whispered reverently. “Thank you.”

The words didn’t nearly sum up what he felt for her--for them. He laid the amulet carefully on his bedside table and cradled their faces in his hands, then leaned his forehead against theirs, projecting every ounce of love, devotion and longing to them through the bond. He was met by the same love and longing, mingled with desire.

There was no need for words. A single touch conveyed what they all wanted. In a single fluid motion, Nyota had Jim on his back, his lips parting at the insistent brushes of her tongue against his mouth. She took advantage of this and thrust her tongue into his mouth, drawing a sound somewhere between a growl and a groan from deep in his chest. His hands tangled in her loose hair, keeping her mouth fused to his.

Warm, strong lips brushed his cheek and he at last broke contact with Nyota, turning to capture Spock’s lips with his, smiling as the brush of his fingers over the Vulcan’s sensitive ears caused Spock to inhale sharply. But he didn’t stop kissing him. His hand grasped the nape of Spock’s neck and arched into his touch.

“Love you both so much,” he murmured.

He was dimly aware of Spock breaking the kiss; but before he could protest, Nyota’s mouth covered his in a fervent kiss. As he recovered his scattered wits, he was aware of her bare breasts rubbing against his chest as she ground her hips into his. He hissed at the friction, his cock pressing insistently against the zipper of his trousers. His hips jerked at each pass and he groaned, desperately wanting to bury himself in her tight, moist heat.

Fingers grazed his temple before at last locking onto the meld points on his face and he stiffened, panting for breath as the intensity of their arousal overwhelmed him. He was both the giver and the recipient, feeling their love-making from both perspectives. A whimper escaped him as he felt a ghost of a touch graze his opening. His gaze flew to Spock’s and his eyes widened as he realized Spock was stroking in and out of her opening

It took everything he had not to come from the combination of sensation and the utter bliss etched across every inch of Nyota’s face. He’d been so distracted by the sensations that he had failed to notice her unbuttoning his trousers and freeing his trapped arousal. A whimper escaped as she wrapped her pert lips around the head of his cock, the vibrations from her moans sending his hands skittering across the sheets, desperately seeking something to ground him. His breath hitched and he groaned at the feel of her hot mouth taking him all the way in.

“Oh, God,” he grunted. “God, Nyota!”

Their gazes locked and any remaining blood in his system rushed south at the desire in her eyes. Smirking, she pulled off of his cock with a loud ‘pop’ and licked her lips, looking as though she wanted to eat him alive.

“I need you,” she murmured huskily. “Please, Jim. Please.”

He pulled her down to him, plundering her mouth even as he ground his erection into her. “Please what, honey?” he drawled. She moved as though she wanted to show him, but he tightened his hold. “No. Tell me.”

Her eyes slammed shut and she arched into him, moaning as he circled his hips against hers. “Fuck me, Jim,” she begged. “Please, please, fuck me.”

In seconds, he had her on her knees, sliding the little scrap of lace she called panties down her legs and slamming two fingers into her moist heat. Her back arched and the beginnings of a scream died in her throat. Jim would have been afraid he’d hurt her was she not riding his fingers begging for more.

Suddenly, he pulled his fingers from her and she whimpered at the loss, the sound becoming a growl as he teased her opening with the head of his cock. She thrust back, trying to impale herself onto him. He laughed, grasping her hip to keep her from succeeding.

“Patience is a virtue,” he teased as he leaned down, sucking her clit into his mouth.

She screamed and spat what he recognized to be a couple of Swahili curses. “I swear if you don’t stop fucking around and shove that thing into me, I’m going to cut it off!” she growled.

He arched an eyebrow. “What happened to ‘please’?”

Another Swahili curse. Was it wrong that hearing her damn him to hell in her native language was turning him on more than the noises she was making?

“Get on with it!” she snarled.

Chuckling, he pressed the head of his cock against her opening and inched forward. He saw stars as the muscles stretched to accommodate their position, contracting around his arousal and he froze, panting for breath as he struggled to keep from coming right there.

“Fuck, Nyota,” he groaned.

Only when he was sure he wasn’t going to explode did he push deeper. The sudden brush of something against his opening caused him to gasp and bury himself in Nyota in a single motion. She yelped in surprise beneath him, but her gasps quickly became moans as he, unable to help himself, rocked into her.

“Jim,” Spock murmured.

Without missing a beat, Jim turned Nyota onto her back and buried himself to the hilt again. She clawed at his back, wrapping her legs around his waist to give him more leverage, moaning his name like a mantra. His mind is too consumed by pleasure to muster up the fear that he knows he should feel at what Spock is asking of him. He’s just coherent enough to realize that he trusts Spock implicitly.

The gentleness of his bondmate’s touch soothed him and all he could think of was Spock bent over him, kissing at the nape of his neck as he fucked him. Jim could think of nothing more perfect than being sandwiched between the two people who love him and whom he loves more than any material position, including his ship.

“Do it,” Jim ground out.

Spock hesitated only a moment before sliding first one and then two fingers into his lover’s ass, scissoring to loosen the opening.

“Fuck,” Jim growled, impaling himself on Spock’s questing fingers before thrusting again into Nyota. “Do it, damn you! Fuck me!”

With a grunt, Spock slammed into him. He stilled for a moment, panting for breath as he waited for the burn to fade. It did and a lot quicker than he expected.

“Move!” he hissed. “God, please, Spock! Move!”

The first thrust pushed Jim’s cock into Nyota and he groaned, his forehead resting against Nyota’s, her sweet breath mingling with his. Gradually, they developed a rhythm. Whenever Spock slid into Jim, Jim slammed into Nyota. Each movement became more and more certain.

“Faster,” Nyota gasped. “Harder! Please!”

Both Spock and Jim increased their pace. Jim was hopelessly lost in the symphony of pleasure coursing through his veins, his only coherent thoughts ‘yes’, ‘more’, ‘please’ and ‘fuck’. Each thrust pushed him closer and closer to the edge.

He felt Nyota shaking beneath him and his gaze locked with hers for a moment before her eyes slammed shut and she arched her back sharply, her features contorted in a silent scream as her orgasm overtook her. The sight of her combined with the feel of her constricting around him drove him over the edge and the world disappeared as he dove forward, capturing her lips with his as he emptied himself into her with short, erratic thrusts.

His cock twitched and he let loose a choked gasp, nearly coming again as Spock’s own release hit him through the bond. It felt almost like he was coming himself. He thrust his ass back, impaling himself on Spock’s cock as he groaned and whimpered and grasped the sheets in desperation.

“Spock!” he shouted, even as his lover shouted his name.

His shaky arms, unable to support his weight any longer, gave way and he collapsed on top of Nyota, sighing in contentment as she massaged his scalp. He felt the warmth of Spock’s weight against his back and he smiled.

“Are you comfortable, Nyota?” Spock murmured.

She laughed breathlessly. “It’s not bothering me. It’s actually kind of nice.”

“Mmm,” Jim replied, wrapping his arms around her waist and burrowing his face between her breasts.

“Comfy?” she teased.

He nodded. “Very.”

She smirked. “I never would have taken you for a post-coital cuddler.”

Shrugging, he replied. “I’m not normally. You just smell really good and you’re so soft and warm.”

“You’re such a puppy,” she laughed.

He smirked. “I _am_ super loyal and, bonus, I’m potty trained.”


	16. Chapter 16

It wasn’t Christmas morning just yet, but it sure felt like it. He grinned as he studied Nyota asleep on his chest, absently stroking his fingers through her hair. Spock, naturally, had only slept for a couple of hours before waking to meditate. He’d felt him getting up from the bed in the middle of the night and had thought he was leaving. Spock had not hesitated to assure him that he simply wished to meditate and that he had no intention of leaving. He didn’t require the same amount of rest that Jim and Nyota did, he explained, and that he hadn’t intended to wake either of them.

Strange how right this scene felt. He could wake up to this every morning, though he much preferred Spock in bed with them. One thing that no one would ever suspect about Jim Kirk (beyond the fact that he did, on occasion, enjoy a post-coital cuddle) was that he loved morning-after sex when he and his partner (or in this case, partners), still drowsy from sleep, explored one another unhurried and without the performance pressures of the night before.

Eager to once again lose himself in the wonder of the three of them together, he laid a trail of teasing kisses down Nyota’s throat. She sighed softly, shifting slightly in her sleep as she pushed weakly at his shoulder.

“Impatient much?” she murmured.

He chuckled, nuzzling her neck. “Last night was one of the most amazing nights of my life. Can you blame me for wanting to re-live it?”

“What about Spock?”

He brushed his lips against hers, smiling. “He can join us when he’s done meditating or whatever the hell he’s doing over there.”

A warm touch on his shoulder had him turning to find Spock hovering over him. He grinned and scooted closer to Nyota to give him room to climb in beside him.

“It would be illogical,” he explained. “To continue my attempts at meditation with such distractions present.”

Jim parted his lips, a smart-ass reply ready, when Spock’s mouth devoured his, sliding his tongue along the seam of Jim’s lips, smiling slightly when Jim’s mouth opened and allowed their tongues to twine together. Jim groaned, burying his hands in the Vulcan’s dark locks, holding him tightly. Needing air, Jim pushed gently at Spock’s shoulder, breaking the kiss.

Spock arched an eyebrow. “I believe, Nyota, that I have discovered a method for effectively silencing him.”

Nyota laughed. “Good to know.”

Jim took the opportunity while Spock was distracted to flip him onto his back and pin his hands above his head, covering Spock’s mouth with his as he ground their cocks together. Both groaned at the friction.

“Looks like it works on you, too, Mr. Spock,” Jim murmured against his lover’s mouth.

Suddenly, Jim’s eyes widened and he scrambled off the bed. “I almost forgot. Hang on. I’ll be right back.”  

He re-entered the room several moments later carrying two average-sized boxes wrapped in decadent red and gold paper, each topped with a red bow and a gold bow respectively. His brow furrowed.

“I think this one is yours, Spock,” he said, offering him the one with the red bow, then placing the one with the gold bow in Nyota’s hands.

Spock studied the box carefully, tugging carefully once he found the seam. Nyota, by comparison, ripped the paper away in much the same fashion as Jim had with their gift last night. Naturally, Nyota had hers open first and lifted the contents from the box. Her eyes lit up as she realized what it was.

“A kanga?” she murmured. “How did you--?”

He chuckled. “Research. Granted, I didn’t make it myself, but--”

She clutched the gift as though it were the most precious treasure in the world. “Don’t be silly. It’s perfect.” She threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. “Thank you.”

As she pulled back, he noticed Spock had at last removed the lid to the box of his gift and was studying the contents. His fingers caressed first the wood and then the strings.

“Your older self said he played it a lot when he was your age,” Jim murmured. “Since I didn’t see it in your quarters here, I figured you lost yours when--” He cleared his throat. “I hope it wasn’t too presumptuous of me to assume that since he played, you do, too.”

Spock’s gaze locked with his and Jim was stunned at the depth of emotion that he saw there. “Indeed you weren’t,” Spock whispered. “I used to play for my mother when I was a young boy. She found it soothing.”

“I’m sorry,” Jim apologized hurriedly. “I didn’t mean to--”

“Jim,” Spock replied, shaking his head. “Your apology is unnecessary. It is a pleasant memory. Your gift is more than adequate and I thank you for it. Words cannot describe how much it pleases me.”

“Play something,” Nyota urged.

Hesitating a moment, Spock at last conceded and positioned the instrument before grazing his fingers over the strings, his brow furrowed in concentration. Jim sucked in a breath at both the beauty of the sounds the instrument was emitting and the calm openness of Spock’s features as he played. Even as the final note echoed through the room, Jim found himself appreciating this softer, more Human side to his partner.

Spock leaned the instrument carefully against Jim’s bedside table, then cupping Jim’s face in his hands, pouring every ounce of love and gratitude he possessed into the kiss.

“Thank you, my Jim,” he whispered. “I am most fortunate to have you as a bondmate.”

Jim chuckled. “I love you, too, Spock.”

#  #  #

Even the distress call that diverted them a half a day from their route couldn’t wipe the grin off of Jim’s face. For the first time in his life, he was truly happy. One of the female passengers from the damaged ship flirted shamelessly with him, but he promptly informed her that he was in a serious relationship and that he wasn’t interested. She’d pouted at first, disappointed, but had brightened considerably when a young ensign had blushingly offered to escort her to her quarters.

He was finalizing his report regarding the distress call when the monitor beeped, the familiar sound of an incoming transmission. Thinking it was Admiral Archer contacting him for the usual post-mission briefing, he entered a series of commands that would route the transmission to his monitor.

His eyes widened in surprise when, instead of Archer’s face on the monitor, he saw his brother’s.

“George?”

The older man grinned. “Hey, Jimmy. I heard you got your own ship. Congratulations.”

Jim snorted. “A few years late on that one, Georgie.”

A tense silence hung in the air between them. “Look, I’m sorry that I didn’t call when I heard about what happened with Frank. I guess I figured it was something best left in the past.”

“You’re right,” Jim murmured. “I wouldn’t have wanted to talk about it anyway. It’s taken me this long just to stop blaming myself for what he did.”

George frowned. “Jim--”

Jim shook his head. “Just drop it. What’s done is done.”

“So--how’ve you been? Other than dying, I mean?”

“Where’d you hear that?” Jim replied.

George shrugged. “I have my sources. Seriously, though.”

Jim smiled. “I’m better than I have been in a long time.”

“So,” George teased. “Who’s the lucky girl?”

A slight flush crept into Jim’s cheeks. “What makes you think it has anything to do with that?”

“Tell-tale Kirk evasion tactics,” George laughed. “Now spill. You know I’ll get it out of you eventually.”

At that precise moment, the doors to his ready room and Spock stepped inside. “My report on the distress call, Captain,” he offered, the epitome of professional. “Should you wish to review it before I submit it.”

Jim nodded. “Later.” When Spock didn’t move to leave, Jim sighed motioning Spock toward him, entwining their fingers. “Spock, my brother George. George, my partner, Spock.”

George’s eyes widened. “Partner? As in--?”

Again, the doors to his ready room slid open and Nyota entered. “I know I said 1300 hours, but the babies just can’t seem to wait.” Her gaze flickered to the image on the screen and then to their interlaced fingers, blushing.

“I’m sorry,” she breathed. “I didn’t realize you were talking to someone.”

Jim shook his head and invited her to join them, wrapping an arm around her waist when she stood next to him.

“George, my other partner, Nyota. Nyota, my brother George.”

George whistled. “Two partners and multiple babies on the way. Shit, Jimmy, did I really miss that much?”

Jim grinned. “Yeah. You did.”


	17. Chapter 17

Jim couldn’t honestly say that the communication from his mother later that day was a surprise. Obviously, she and George had kept in regular contact. What did surprise him was an invitation to the farm for Christmas.

She smiled. “I’ll be dirtside and, from what I understand, so will you and your partners. It would be nice to start the traditions up again, especially with grandbabies on their way.”

“Mom--” he protested, but sighed in defeat. “All right. But please don’t give them the third degree and NO baby pictures.”

The latter wasn’t as common as the former, but he had the feeling that in all the talk of grandchildren, his pictures would be whipped out for his bondmates’ amusement as well as speculation on who the babies would take after.

“Do you know the genders yet? Or does Nyota want it to be a surprise?”

“She’s barely eight weeks,” he argued.

Winona grinned. “So about another week or two and they’ll be able to at least give you a reasonable guess.”

Jim scrubbed his hands over his face. “Now I’m wishing I hadn’t accepted that communique. George and his damn big mouth.”

“Come on, honey,” she teased. “Don’t ruin the moment. It’s not everyday my little boy settles down and gives me grandbabies.”

Sighing, he replied, “It’s not what you think, Mom.” He then told her about everything that had happened with Kogav and how exactly Nyota had come to be pregnant. “We’d barely been together a week and this wasn’t exactly something we planned on.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I’m scared, Mom. I didn’t exactly have the best male role models growing up. Hell, I’m not the best role model for anybody, much less a couple of kids looking to me for how to do the right thing. I’ve spent my entire life doing the opposite. I’m not ready for this.”

“You think your father and I were?” she offered, continuing at his stunned expression. “When he found out I was pregnant with George, your father spent two whole nights locked up in Chris Pike’s quarters drinking. If Chris wasn’t your father’s best friend, I might’ve had cause to blast his ass out the nearest airlock for the state your father was in when he finally came home.”

Jim frowned. “They were best friends? I knew Chris knew dad, but I didn’t know they were that close.”

Winona sighed. “Thick as thieves, those two. In fact, Chris contacted me several times after your father died to see how you were doing. Mostly on your birthday.” She blushed. “I’ll admit, it got lonely sometimes without your father and we might have fooled around a bit--”

“Mom!” Jim sputtered. “Way too much information! I don’t even want to think about that!”

The flush deepened. “Sorry, honey. Anyway, you and your partners should stay at the house. There’s plenty of room. Are Leo and Joanna going to be joining us?”

Jim felt a pang of guilt at the mention of Bones. The two of them hadn’t had a real conversation since Nyota’s visit to the Medbay two weeks ago. His new relationship had consumed so much of his time, leaving room for little else. He made a mental note to set aside an evening to catch up.

“I’ll ask,” he murmured and paused. “Did you ever talk to Chris after I started attending the Academy?”

She smiled. “A couple of times, yes. He used to brag about how well you were doing in your classes and how brilliant you were and how full of potential. Talked about how proud he was of you. He was sure if you’d quit being so hard on yourself and stop trying to be your dad, you’d be a great commanding officer one day.”

His throat tightened and tears threatened as he was reminded of the man’s absence from his life and the profound emptiness it had left behind. “He said all that?”

“Yeah,” she murmured. “I’m sorry now that I didn’t let him be a part of your life sooner.  He just made me think so much of George and I couldn’t deal with any more reminders. Maybe if he’d been around, you wouldn’t have wasted years of your life trying to get out of the shadow of your father’s ghost.”

#  #  #

Jim pressed his thumb to the door chime outside Bones’s quarters, a bottle of his friend’s favorite bourbon clutched in one hand. He heard clamoring and stumbling in addition to a slurred curse and frowned, wondering why Bones didn’t just invite him in. A moment later, the door slid open. Expecting to step in, Jim was surprised when Bones pushed him out into the hallway, the door sliding closed behind him. Upon closer inspection, Jim realized that the man wore only a pair of sweatpants, his chest uncovered.

“Bones, what the hell--?” he began, his brow furrowed.

The older man’s cheeks flushed, even as he gave Jim the standard lecture about showing up unannounced. Jim’s eyes widened as everything clicked into place and a smirk curved his lips.

“Why, Bones, you sly devil,” he teased. “Who is it?” The man sputtered. “Come on. You can tell me. Is it that ensign from Engineering who was flirting with you at the party?”

Bones opened his mouth, presumably to tell Jim to fuck off, when a female voice cooed from behind the closed doors, “Who is it, Leo?”

Jim raised an eyebrow. “Leo?” he mouthed.

Bones shot him a murderous glance. “No one important, darlin'.”

“Tell them to go away and come back to bed, then,” she pouted.

Jim chuckled. “You realize I can hear you, Christine.” Tense silence stretched between them for several moments. “It’s fine. I was just stopping by to see if you and Bones wanted to come by my family’s farm for Christmas. Mom’s going to planetside for the first time in a decade and wanted to know if you two were going to be able to make it.”

A vein in Bones’s forehead bulged and he looked like he wanted to strangle him.

“We don’t want to intrude,” she began.

Jim shook his head. “Not at all. In fact, Mom insists.”

After a moment’s hesitation, she replied, “That sounds lovely. Doesn’t it, Leo?”

“Yeah,” Bones grumbled. “Lovely.”

Having humiliated his friend enough for the evening, Jim offered, “I’ll leave you both to it. Have a good night.”

“We’ll talk about this later,” Bones muttered. “In fact, we can talk about it while I give you, Spock and Uhura a complete physical. Don’t think I don’t know what you three got up to last night. They could hear you three on the damn bridge. Of all the nonsense--” He then turned and re-entered his quarters, leaving Jim blushing a brilliant red.

#  #  #

Determined to do other partner things besides the sex marathon of the last couple of days, Jim had insisted they eat dinner together in the Mess, hoping that it would reduce the temptation.

“Why don’t you invite your dad, Spock?” Jim insisted. “Nobody deserves to be alone on Christmas.”

Spock arched an eyebrow. “As my father is Vulcan, he doesn’t celebrate Christmas. In addition, is it not impolite and rather presumptuous to invite others that your mother has not chosen to invite herself?”

Jim shrugged. “She won’t care. Besides, I already offered to help cook if she let me invite a few more people. Sulu and Chekov are going to stop by for at least an hour or two and Scotty doesn’t have anywhere else to be.”

“Admiral Archer is unattached,” Spock observed. “Perhaps he and your mother would enjoy one another’s company.”

Jim gaped a moment before noting the slight upturn of his partner’s lips. “Not funny!” he choked. “Seriously. It’s bad enough that I find out Mom and Chris had a thing after Dad died--”

Nyota gasped. “Your Mom and Captain Pike were lovers?”

“Ugh,” he grimaced. “Sounds even worse when you say it like that. Now I’m sure it’s going to take some serious brainwashing to get those images out of my head.”

“Don’t be such a child,” Spock chided. “Your Mother and Christopher were consenting adults fully allowed to engage in a sexual relationship without needing your acceptance of the reasons for them doing so.”

Jim glared at him. “So if your Dad had a casual fling with your Mom’s best friend, you wouldn’t have any problems with it?”

Though it was obvious the thought bothered him, Spock replied, “It is not my concern whom my father chooses to engage in sexual relations with.” He grimaced slightly. “And even if he were to do so, I would have no desire to know of it.”


	18. Chapter 18

As promised, McCoy gave the trio a thorough physical check up, though Nyota’s was a prenatal check up more than a physical. When it came to the anal portion of the exam, Jim flushed. Not that he hadn’t undergone this exam so many times by now that it ceased to embarrass him. On this particular occasion, it had more to do with Spock’s sharply indrawn breath and subsequent glare. Jim tried his best not to become aroused at the intimate touch, but was failing miserably due to the jealousy and possessiveness in his partner’s eyes. It was turning him on far more than it should.

“All right,” McCoy murmured. “No damage that I can tell.”

McCoy didn’t offer any of the usual jibes that often accompanied the woody he got from fingers in his ass, for which Jim was infinitely grateful. He wasn’t sure Spock wouldn’t try to asphyxiate McCoy on the spot. Nyota was on the other side of the Medbay, laying back as she received another ultrasound to check how the babies were growing.

“The important thing is that they’re growing,” Chapel murmured with a kind smile. “They’re reaching all of the development milestones just fine. In fact, moreso than we would see in Human babies. But that’s to be expected. They are part Vulcan, after all.”

Nyota opened her mouth to comment, but gasped softly, her eyes wide as she laid a hand on her abdomen.

Jim frowned. “What? What’s wrong?”

A slow grin slid across her lips. “The babies are kicking.”

He slid off of the biobed and was beside her in moments, laying his hand where she’d had hers. “I don’t feel anything,” he frowned.

Suddenly, he felt movement and his eyes widened. “Was that--?”

Chapel smiled and nodded. “They were reacting to the sound of your voice.”

He grinned. “Hey, Spock! Come feel this!”

Spock arched an eyebrow, striding toward them, laid a hand on her abdomen next to Jim’s. No movement.

“Say something,” Nyota murmured.

A slight green flush tinted the tips of his ears. “This is a highly illogical ritual. I fail to see the purpose of--” His eyes widened slightly. “Fascinating.”

She smiled, laying a hand on top of Jim’s and he sucked in a sharp breath, unprepared for the intensity of emotion communicated to him through the bond. He felt the familiar caresses of Nyota’s and Spock’s thoughts. When he dove deeper, he noticed two other minds in the link that hadn’t been there before.

His eyes widened. “Is that--?”

Their gazes met, Spock’s mouth slightly agape. “Yes.”

“How--?”

“Vulcan parents are able to communicate telepathically with their offspring through touch,” Spock murmured. “This begins prior to birth and provides a more reliable mechanism for infants to communicate their needs and wants. Communication is somewhat primitive at this stage and is limited to simple emotions such as happiness and surprise.”

Unable to find the words, they said nothing, allowing the emotions flooding the bond to speak for them. There was a strange peace in feeling his unborn children’s happiness as if it were his own. It was yet another reminder of the unique gift his partners had given him and it struck him that while several weeks ago, he’d actually been contemplating severing it, now he couldn’t imagine his life without their bond.

His hands grasped Spock’s and Nyota’s and he smiled. “Thank you,” he whispered.

No more words were needed. The meaning behind the words was enough.

# # #

Later that evening, he found himself in McCoy’s quarters indulging in a bottle of Kentucky bourbon he’d picked up on Starbase 54. He smiled to himself, remembering how understanding his partners had been of his need to reconnect with his best friend, though there’d been a touch of jealousy in Spock’s voice as he encouraged it. It was at that moment that he caught McCoy staring at him.

“What?” Jim slurred.

McCoy paused. “Jim, are you sure it isn’t just the bond making you think--”

Jim shook his head. “It doesn’t work that way,” he murmured. “Not for us. We all had feelings for each other before, the bond just amplifies them.”

“As long as you’re happy,” McCoy muttered, taking down the rest of the bourbon in his glass.

Jim grinned. “You know, for the first time in my life, I really am.” He paused. “What’s it like, Bones?”

McCoy frowned. “What? Being a dad?” Jim nodded. A slow smile spread across the older man’s face. “It changes everything, Jim. All of a sudden, it’s not your past that defines you anymore. It’s her. You’re her hero even if all you do is kiss her boo-boos and no matter how shitty your day was, when she laughs, you laugh, too. Her heartbreaks are enough to debilitate you and you know if anything ever happened to her…”

Jim’s throat was tight with emotion as, for the first time in the course of their entire friendship, he saw tears sliding down his friend’s cheeks.

“It’s a love so powerful,” McCoy whispered. “That nothing in the universe can ever even come close to comparing to it.”

The two sat in silence for several long moments, McCoy taking the time to refill his glass, before Jim grinned and raised his own. “To fatherhood. Turning men everywhere into emotional wrecks.”

McCoy snorted, clinking his glass against Jim’s. “Amen to that.”

# # #

Jim was packing the last of his things when his partners arrived. “I’ll be ready in a minute,” he offered, stuffing the last of the gifts for his nephew into his luggage. An impish grin slid across his lips as he imagined his reaction.

“Okay,” he sighed. “I’m ready.”

# # #

As Spock and Nyota unloaded their luggage, Jim studied his childhood home. Everything was exactly as he remembered. Even the fields, despite having been stripped of the cornstalks that normally grew there in the summer. The barn was the same faded red, though it looked like someone had fixed the decaying roof. Their hired caretaker, Jeb, no doubt.

They drew closer to the house and the smell of fresh-baked honey cornbread assaulted his nostrils. He grinned even as his mouth watered at the memory of the fluffy sweetness on his tongue. It had been far too long since he’d been home.

“Unca Jim!”

His grin widened as his three year old nephew, Peter, collided with his waist and hugged him tightly. “Hey, Petey. I missed you.”

The boy grinned. “Missed you, too, Unca Jim.” Her eyes widened. “Who’s dat?”

Jim laughed. “The one with the pointy ears is Spock and the lovely lady next to him is Nyota.”

“Are they your boyfwend and girlfwend?” he asked innocently.

He smiled and nodded. “Yeah, Petey, they are.”

Peter waved at them. “Hi.”

Spock arched an eyebrow. “It is agreeable to meet you, Peter,” he offered.

The boy smiled then turned back to Jim, his expression suddenly serious. “Tommy at preschool said people who have a boyfwend and a girlfwend don’t really love each other and that they’re bad people.”

Jim frowned. “I don’t know what makes him think that; but Spock, Nyota and I love each other very much and they’re both very good people.”

“Mommy said Nyota is gonna have a baby,” he murmured. “She said both you and Spock are the daddy.”

“She’s having two babies,” he corrected, grinning. “And yes. Both me and Spock are the daddies.”

The front door opened on squeaky hinges and he heard his sister-in-law shouting for Peter.

“Over here, Mama!”

She caught sight of the group and moved to join them, the wind whipping around her dark brown curls as her hazel eyes locked with Jim’s. Smiling, she hugged Jim and pecking him on the cheek. “Good to see you, Jimmy boy,” she murmured. “You’re looking good.”

Jim raised an eyebrow. “Fishing for compliments again, Aurie?”

She scowled. “You haven’t changed one bit.” She then turned to Spock and Nyota, hugging each one in turn. “I’m Jimmy’s sister-in-law, Aurelan. George has told me a lot about you. This one,” she muttered, jerking her thumb at Jim, “Can’t seem to talk about anything else.”

A flush crept into Jim’s cheeks at Spock’s arched eyebrow. “Kinda like I had to listen to George moon over you for years?” He winced when she punched his shoulder. “Damn it, Aurie. That hurt.”

“Serves you right,” she murmured, extracting Peter from his arms. “You have good timing. Supper’s about ready.”

At Nyota’s confused expression, he smiled. “Around here, we call lunch ‘dinner’ and dinner ‘supper’.”

Aurelan set Peter down on his feet and nudged him toward the house. “Go wash up, now. If I see one speck of dirt on those hands, I won’t hesitate to make you wash them again.” As soon as the front door closed, Aurelan returned her attention to the trio. “Come on in and I’ll show you where you’re going to be sleeping.”


	19. Chapter 19

Supper with a houseful of people had been a much grander affair than Jim was used to even with the number of Starfleet parties he’d attended over the years. He’d grown up fending for himself, his meal usually consisting of a measly sandwich or bowl of cereal he was able to pull together from the little food in their stores. Back then, Mom hadn’t thought it necessary to have a protein resequencer in the house. They’d been too expensive and for a single mother struggling to raise two boys, it just wasn’t practical.

He watched the interactions between his partners and his family and smiled. He’d expected a certain degree of awkwardness due to the strained relationship he’d always had with his mother, but he found himself laughing and joking with her, a fondness twinkling in her eyes.

What really caught his attention was the effort she was making to ensure Spock and Nyota felt comfortable, most notably the trouble that she’d gone to regarding Spock’s dietary preferences.

“I made this special for you, honey,” she’d murmured as she’d set a single-serve casserole dish in front of him. “Jimmy told me you don’t eat animal products, so I made you a vegan sweet corn casserole. I even used soy milk instead of cow’s milk.”

Eyebrows arched surprise, he’d murmured, “That is most kind of you. Thank you.”

“It’s no trouble at all. You’re family, after all.”

Spock had turned to Jim, the corners of his lips turning up slightly. “Your mother is a most extraordinary woman.”

“She has her moments,” he’d replied.

It was at that moment that he’d noticed the change in her. Easy smiles replaced her normally restrained demeanor and there was a warmth to her touch that he couldn’t remember being there before. For the first time in his life, she seemed genuinely happy. He wanted to ask, but after finding out about her casual fling with Chris, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

Supper over and the dishes done, everyone sat in the living room, some like Jim enjoying a cup of coffee as they caught up on recent events. A sudden loud knock on the front door interrupted the light atmosphere and Jim frowned. Everyone was here, so who could it be? His mother stood and moved to answer it. When he saw the man standing in the doorway, his throat constricted and a sudden wave of nausea overwhelmed him.

Winona’s gaze narrowed. “Frank.”

The mere sight of the man had Jim relieving every horrifying moment he’d spent in Frank’s company. Instinctively, he wanted to run and hide, but the fear paralyzed him.

The man’s gaze locked with Jim’s and a smirk slid across his lips. “What? You’re having a family reunion and you didn’t invite me?”

A particular conversation with Chris replayed in his mind. “You can’t run from him forever,” the older man had insisted. “Someday, he’s going to catch up to you. How you deal with him when he does is what’s going to define you as an officer and as a man. You’ve got to stand up for yourself, Jim. Don’t let him define you anymore. Define yourself.”

Jim’s lips tightened in determination and he stood, striding toward the door, fighting to keep his voice even. “There’s a reason for that. You’re not welcome here.”

“Last I checked,” Frank drawled. “This isn’t your house.” His gaze slid to Winona. “Is it, sis?”

Winona stiffened. “Get off my property, you sick son of a bitch,” she spat.

Frank didn’t move, laying his hand on her arm. “Come on, Wy. You know you don’t mean it. Not after everything we’ve been through together.”

Winona shivered, her lower lip quivering. He had a sudden flashback to his dream and saw red, grabbing the man by the collar. There was a fierceness in his eyes as he stared Frank down.

“Don’t touch her,” he growled. “Don’t you EVER fucking touch her.”

Unfazed, Frank sneered, “She’s my sister. I’ll touch her however I like.”

Before he could blink, Jim’s fist connected with his nose, a loud crunch echoing through the room. He was dimly aware of Nyota shouting his name as Frank crumpled to the ground. Rubbing his knuckles, pride and utter satisfaction surged through him at the sight of his childhood tormentor laid out on the porch.

“Get the hell out of here, you demented fuck, or I’ll tear you apart myself,” Jim sneered.

Winona slammed the door and threw her arms around Jim’s neck, sobbing into his shoulder. “I’m sorry, honey,” she choked. “I’m so so sorry.”

Sighing, he closed his eyes and hugged her tightly, rubbing her back in soothing circles. “It’s all right, Mom. He can’t hurt us anymore.”

Lowering his mental shields, he was flooded with love, empathy, pride and a half dozen other emotions. He glanced toward his bondmates to find Spock holding Nyota, their gazes locked with his. Smiling, he reflected love and gratitude back to them.

“Somebody should probably call the authorities,” Jim murmured. “I don’t think he’s afraid enough of me to leave on his own.”

Spock arched an eyebrow, separating himself from Nyota. “That won’t be necessary. I will escort him away myself and will ensure that he understands the consequences should he return.”

Jim grinned as Spock moved past him and stepped out onto the porch. “Thanks,” he whispered.

#  #  #

McCoy arrived the next day with Christine Chapel, returning Winona’s fierce hug.

“Good to see you, Leonard,” Winona smiled. “Thanks again for taking care of Jimmy for me. Lord knows that boy attracts trouble like a magnet.”

McCoy grinned. “It’s no trouble, Wy. He’s a good kid.”

When asked about Joanna, he explained, “Joanna wanted to spend Christmas Eve with Jocelyn. But she’ll be by Christmas morning.”

Winona nodded. “I’ve got the fold-out set up in the guest room for you if that’s all right,” she offered.

“We don’t want to be any trouble,” McCoy murmured. “We can stay at a hotel in town if you don’t have enough room--”

Winona shook her head. “I insist. After everything you’ve done for my son, the least I can do is offer you a place to stay for a few days.”

“In that case,” McCoy smiled. “We’d be much obliged.”

She chuckled, patting Christine on the arm. “Hold tight to this one, honey. He’s a keeper.”

McCoy flushed at the compliment and Jim snickered, earning him a glare from his friend.

“We were just about to sit down to breakfast,” Winona added. “There’s plenty if you want to join us.”

Ever considerate of Spock’s food preferences, she’d offered him a bowl of oatmeal with sides of raisins, strawberries and blueberries. “The fruit gives it a bit of sweetness without the sugar,” she’d explained.

Spock consumed the meal with muted enthusiasm, though Jim noted a hint of pleasure in his lover’s eyes with each bite. Seeing her success with the oatmeal, Winona then offered him a small stack of pancakes with strawberries and blueberries on top, assuring him that she’d substituted soy milk and soy butter in the batter and had left the eggs out entirely.

Spock opened his mouth to kindly refuse, but she cut him off. “It’s a pleasure, really. You’ve saved my Jimmy a dozen times over and it’s the least I can do.”

Her gaze locked with his and Jim knew instantly she wasn’t referring to the Khan incident. She must have noticed the changes in him, too.


	20. Chapter 20

That night, after everyone else had gone to bed, he nursed a glass of bourbon as he, Spock and Nyota told McCoy about Jim’s confrontation with Frank. McCoy listened, his features tensing with each new revelation. By the end, he looked like he wanted to hit something.

“Why that arrogant son of a bitch,” he swore. “Good on you, kid, for finally putting that bastard in his place. Chris would be proud of you.”

Jim nodded, turning to Spock and Nyota. “I’m sure you both picked up on this today, but me and George weren’t Frank’s only victims. My mom’s parents died when she was 14. Their will made Frank her guardian. That’s when the abuse started. He’d beat her up and then--” He swallowed roughly, his eyes dropping to the glass in his hands. “He threatened to kill her if she told anyone. She was so scared that he’d actually go through with it that she stayed quiet, but she left as soon as she turned 18 and joined Starfleet, determined to get as far away from him as possible.”

Nyota frowned. “Then why did she leave you with him?”

He shrugged. “I guess she thought he’d changed. He was really nice for awhile and would do anything she asked. The abuse didn’t start until I was five. He got pissed because I spilled his beer and beat me black and blue. I don’t know whether Mom didn’t notice the bruises when she came home or was just too scared to do anything. George took off when I was about eight to go live with my dad’s parents and I left when I was fourteen. I got a job at a garage fixing cars and bikes and stayed in the loft above the garage until I could afford my own place. When I turned eighteen--well, I never looked back.”

Nyota hugged him tightly, saying nothing, caressing his mind with hers. _I’m so so sorry. I had no idea._

He smiled wanly. _It is what it is. But I’m okay now. Thanks to you and Spock._

His gaze locked with Spock’s, smiling as his partner offered the familiar Vulcan kiss in comfort.

 _You are so brave, my Jim,_ he whispered. _Had I experienced a fraction of what you have endured over the course of your lifetime--_

 _You’d have done the same thing,_ Jim offered. _You’re stronger than you think, Spock. More Human, too._ He grasped Spock’s hand in his and smiled.

#  #  #

When Jim awoke the next morning, he was excited to see the first drops of snow already beginning to cover the ground. He hadn’t seen snow since before he’d left for the Academy. Hearing his nephew yelling down the hall, “It’s snowing!”, he chuckled. Already, he knew that they were going to spend most of the day playing in it. By the time they finished breakfast, there would be a thick enough layer of the white powder to facilitate at least a decent snowball fight.

He slid out of from beneath the covers and donned his flannel pants, jumping in surprise when an oddly cold pair of hands caressed his chest and he shivered. The warmth of a mouth on his neck had him biting his lip to stop a groan.

“Sneaky bastard,” he murmured. “Your hands are cold.”

He couldn’t stop a soft gasp as Spock nibbled his ear. “I am unaccustomed to these low temperatures. Perhaps you should return to bed to facilitate an increase in my body temperature to acceptable parameters.”

“Shared body heat,” Jim grinned. “Much as I want to, everybody’s up and they’re going to be starting breakfast soon.”

Another pair of hands joined Spock’s. “We have time for a quickie,” Nyota murmured.

Jim laughed, turning toward his partners, brushing his lips against hers. “Who are you and what have you done with Nyota Uhura?”

Spock arched an eyebrow. “An illogical question as this is entirely nominal behavior for Nyota.”

She smirked at the surprised expression on his face. “After yesterday… well, I’m feeling a bit possessive.”

Fantasies of Nyota dominating him rushed through his mind and damn her if he wasn’t hard in seconds. “I don’t normally like the idea of--” he rasped. “Hell, woman, what are you doing to me?”

“It’s different with someone you really trust,” she murmured. “Until you, I didn’t enjoy it with anyone but Spock.”

Jim exhaled a shaky breath. “Okay.”

Before he could even get the full word out, strong lips covered his and in seconds, Spock had him on his back with his hands pinned above his head, grinding his hips into his.

#  #  #

He ran his hands through his sleep-mussed hair in an attempt to calm the strands even as he moved toward the kitchen to join the others for breakfast.

“About time,” Winona teased, grinning. “Busy night?”

Jim flushed at the implication, muttering something about snoring older brothers.

“Bullshit!” George protested. “I don’t snore.”

“My mistake,” Jim grinned. “Must have been that midnight train that runs through the house.”

He ducked a biscuit launched in his direction, which earned his brother a stern chastising. “George Samuel Kirk!” Winona snapped.

Jim laughed as George blushed, ducking his head submissively. “Sorry, Mom.”

“Damn right you are,” she muttered.

Once everyone had finished eating, Jim volunteered for dishes, grateful for the dishwasher his mother had recently bought for the house. Dishes on their way to sparkling, he wiped his hands on a towel and moved to change into his outdoor gear. Everyone else was already outside watching Peter run around the yard making snow angels and knee-high snowmen.

A few minutes later, Jim stepped outside in a red and black wool flannel jacket, dark jeans and brown boots, his gloved hands shoved into the pockets.

Spock, he noticed, wore a heavy black parka complete with hood and insulated gloves. Jim chuckled when he noticed that the Vulcan also wore ear muffs, presumably to protect his super-sensitive ears. His gaze slid to Nyota, who was covered from head to toe in much the same fashion as Spock minus the earmuffs. The red parka she wore reminded him of her duty uniform.

Suddenly, a mass of icy powder hit him full in the face and he gasped in surprise. He brushed the snow away and looked up to find Spock studying him with an arched eyebrow, then pointing to McCoy, who was brushing the snow off his gloves, laughing.

Jim bent over smirking as he formed a snowball of his own. When he looked up, McCoy had taken off running. McCoy was in good physical condition for his age, sure, but Jim was younger and faster. He caught up with McCoy fairly quickly and tackled him to the ground, stuffing several fistfuls of snow down the front of his jacket.

McCoy yelped in surprise, shoving Jim off of him. “Okay, okay! I give!”

“Damn right,” Jim grinned.

Heremembered seeing a holoimage from one of the NX-01’s mission files of a snow Vulcan and decided to build one of his own. The temperature was just right to preserve the pointed ears he formed out of snow, taking off his own scarf to wind around its neck. He stood back and admired his handiwork, grinning when he felt Spock’s and Nyota’s amusement through the bond.

The second time he was hit by a snowball, he caught Spock in the act of throwing it. Not that he needed an excuse to tackle his partner amongst the powder. Unlike with McCoy, he was chasing someone more physically fit than he was and better capable of putting minimum oxygen to maximum use. He finally caught up with him, but Jim knew that it was more likely that the Vulcan had allowed himself to be captured.

Taking advantage of Jim’s distraction, Spock had him on his back in seconds with his hands pinned above his head. The position was so reminiscent of Spock’s dominance in bed this morning that Jim bit back a groan as his cock hardened instantly against Spock’s thigh. Desire temporarily overtook their better sense and Spock crushed his lips against Jim’s.

“Eww! Gross!”

Spock jerked away as though burned, a green flush filling his cheeks and the tips of his ears. Despite his own embarrassment at being caught in a very awkward position with his partner, Jim laughed and pulled Spock down for another kiss, this one more affectionate, then kissing the tip of Spock’s nose.

“Don’t be embarrassed, honey,” he murmured. “Kids Peter’s age think grown-ups in general kissing is gross. He still hasn’t gotten past the cooties phase.”

Spock arched an eyebrow. “Fascinating.”

Jim chuckled, brushing the back of his covered hand over Spock’s cheek. “You’re not really helping my current predicament, you know,” he murmured, referring to the slight jerk of Spock’s hips against his.

Spock swallowed. “I apologize. Should I remove myself--?”

“Not yet,” Jim whispered, shaking his head. “I’ve got an erection the size of _Enterprise_ and I’d rather everyone else not see that.” At Spock’s confused expression, Jim sighed. “Just hold still for a few minutes. Maybe pretend you’re shoveling snow down my jacket or something.”

Closing his eyes, Jim thought of anything that came to mind to will his erection away. He gasped in sudden surprise when something cold and wet was shoved into his face. His eyes snapped open and locked with Spock’s, a slight smile turning up the corners of the man’s lips.

“I said pretend!” he rasped.

Spock arched an eyebrow. “I surmised that given the effect of cold showers on the male physique, the cold wetness of snow would have a similar effect.”

He gaped. “Seriously?!”

“When am I ever not, Jim?”


	21. Chapter 21

Ritual Christmas music filled the air as Jim sat on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate, Nyota snuggled up next to him. Spock sat on his other side, their thighs touching and a hand on Jim’s knee as he sipped his own soy hot chocolate. His brother and sister in law sat across from them, similarly cozy. Mom, Bones and Christine sat in the kitchen playing card games with Peter, the occasional shout of “go fish!” drifting into the living area.

“This is nice,” Jim murmured.

“It is,” Nyota agreed.

A knock on the door interrupted. “Spock, can you get the door?”

Arching an eyebrow, Spock inclined his head and moved to answer the knock. Jim felt his partner’s surprise the moment the door opened.

Sarek offered the traditional greeting. “Hello, Spock.”

“Father,” he murmured. “What--?”

Arching an eyebrow, Sarek replied, “Your bondmate issued me an invitation 7.364 days ago. He informed me he wished for it to be a surprise.”

Spock turned to find Jim shrugging his shoulders, a wide grin on his face. “I know you said Vulcans don’t celebrate Christmas, but I figured nobody deserves to be alone during the holidays.”

Not even a moment after Spock had gestured his father inside, three more guests had appeared in the doorway.

“Where’s my baby girl?”

Nyota froze and pulled away from Jim to look in the direction of the voice. He didn’t miss the sparkle in her eyes or the way her breath hitched when she spotted her family stepping over the threshold. She squealed in delight as she jumped up from the couch and hurried to embrace her mother, speaking in rapid Swahili.

“Not that I’m not thrilled to see you, but how did you know where to find me?”

“Your Captain told us he’d invited you and Spock here for the holidays,” the older woman explained. “Then proceeded to invite us to join you.”

Nyota’s gaze then locked with Jim’s and she smiled, motioning him and Spock forward. “You already know Spock,” she murmured.

Mahia grinned. “Good to see you again, mhibu. May I--?”

After a moment, Spock inclined his head and accepted the embrace. “It is agreeable to see you again as well, Mahia.”

Mahia broke the embrace, her eyes locking with Jim’s. “Can I assume that this fine young man is your Captain?”

Jim nodded and grinned, extending his hand. “Jim Kirk, ma’am. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Nyota’s told me a lot about you.”

Mahia’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, her gaze flickering to her daughter. Nyota flushed and nodded confirming her mother’s suspicions.

“Both of them?”

Nyota winced. “Yes. Both of them.”

“Fascinating.”

The group turned to find Sarek’s eyebrows arched high as he studied his son. Spock averted his gaze and the familiar green flush filled his cheeks. “I had intended to discuss the matter with you following Christmas,” Spock murmured. “However, my th’y’la’s surprise has made that moot.”

“And they’re having babies!” Peter squealed excitedly.

Jim sucked in a sharp breath, not aware that his nephew had entered the room. The announcement made Sarek’s eyebrows arch, if possible, higher. “Is this true, Spock?”

His partner’s flush deepened. “Yes, Father. However, it is a great deal more complex than I’m certain you believe it to be.”

Jim took the initiative to explain the away mission gone awry and their later discovery that Nyota was carrying two children who had genetic contributions from all three parents. “She’s about 12 weeks,” he concluded.

He scarcely breathed as he waited for their parents’ reactions. Winona came to stand beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder in a gesture of solid support and he whispered a choked, “Thanks” to her.

Mahia broke into a grin and laughed excitedly, embracing the three as one. “Oh, how exciting! Congratulations!”

Jim breathed a little easier now that he knew Mahia was happy. It would have devastated Nyota, he was sure, to go through this without her mother’s support. From the conversation he’d had with Mahia, she was the only parent Nyota had left, her father having disappeared on a deep space mission just after she’d applied to the Academy.

When Mahia broke the embrace, his eyes locked with Sarek’s, his heart racing as he struggled to find some hint of how the Vulcan was reacting to the news. But Sarek’s features were as stoic as ever, not even a crack in the mask.

“This news is surprising,” Sarek acknowledged. “But not unwelcome.” Jim almost laughed at the relief that flooded the bond. “I only wish your mother was here to share in this moment. I am certain she would be quite pleased at the prospect of becoming a grandmother.”

In the first emotional display Jim had witnessed between the two, Spock embraced his father tightly. “Thank you, Father,” he murmured. “I am gratified that this news pleases you.”

“Your presence in my life is gratification enough, sa-fu,” Sarek replied. “The grandchildren your th’y’la bears are only a furtherance of that.”

He released his son from the embrace, then turning to Jim and Nyota, offering each the gesture reserved for family. Jim’s throat tightened with emotion as Sarek then said, “Welcome, my children, to our family. Your place in it is secured always.”

Jim inclined his head. “Thank you, Ambassador.”

Sarek arched an eyebrow. “Such a formality is unnecessary. You may call me Father, sa-mekh, or if either of these discomfort you, then Sarek will suffice.”

“Thank you, Sarek,” he grinned.

Sarek’s gaze then shifted to Nyota and the slight roundness of her abdomen. He paused. “May I?”

Nyota smiled and nodded. “Of course.”

Cautiously, he laid a hand on her abdomen and his eyebrows arched in surprise when the babies kicked. “Your children are strong, ko-fu. You provide well for them.”

Nyota flushed at the compliment. “Thank you.”

It was at that moment that his mother stepped forward and hugged each new person in turn, Sarek stiffening slightly but allowing the gesture nonetheless.

“I’m Winona. Jimmy’s mom. These two behind me are my son, George and daughter-in-law Aurelan. And,” she explained, patting Peter on the head, “This precocious little wonder is their son, Peter.”

McCoy introduced himself next to Nyota’s mother, who he’d never met, then saying hello to Sarek, who he’d met after the destruction of Vulcan, introducing them all to Christine Chapel as his date.

“Please, join us for dinner,” Winona insisted. “We’ve got more than enough for everyone. We’ve even got some vegan options.”

The already crowded kitchen meant that some of the group was going to have to eat in the living area. Jim was more than happy to give up his seat in the kitchen so the women could talk. He, Spock, Sarek, Nyota’s brother Jaali, and McCoy sat around the coffee table trading stories and discussing the latest sports games. He himself followed football, having played as a running back in his secondary school years.

He laughed at Spock’s surprised expression. “Mostly did it because I could, not because I actually wanted to.”

Spock sombered as he heard the unspoken words _to escape Frank_ through the bond.

When everyone had finished eating, Spock had insisted on taking a turn doing the dishes. Certain that Spock didn’t know how to work a dishwasher, Jim offered to help him. Once all of the dishes had been cleared and the leftovers put away, Jim grabbed Nyota’s hand and pulled her toward an open space in the living room, spinning and dancing her to the tune of _Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree_.

She laughed at Jim’s enthusiasm. The song ended and she looked up to find them standing beneath the mistletoe. Without a moment’s hesitation, she pressed her lips to his, then embraced him tightly and whispered, “Merry Christmas, mpenzi,” into his ear.

Not surprisingly, Spock wanted his turn, a slight smile turning up the corners of his lips as they moved to the upbeat melody of _Jingle Bell Rock_.

Within moments, George and Aurie were spinning around the room. Not wanting to feel left out, McCoy and Chapel joined in followed by Jim and Nyota’s sister Penda. He’d only managed to draw a laugh from his future sister-in-law when he heard another familiar laugh and his eyes widened when he saw his Mom dancing with, of all people, Sarek. Her eyes sparkled as the surprisingly graceful Vulcan imitated Spock’s movements perfectly. As the song ended, Sarek’s concluding flourish drew laughter and applause from the rest of the room.

“I wasn’t aware that you danced, Father,” Spock offered, his brow furrowed.

Sarek arched an eyebrow, his gaze flickering to Winona. “I do not. Winona is a most skilled instructor.”

Jim gaped, not sure of what to say to that. Was Spock’s dad seriously hitting on his mother?

Winona blushed. “Well, I can’t take all the credit. You’re a fast learner. Does anyone want coffee?”

A few people replied with a resounding _yes_.

“Mom,” Jim offered. “Let me help you.”

Once alone with her in the solitude of the kitchen, Jim sputtered, “Mom, you--Sarek--you can’t. That would be creepy and weird on so many levels.”

Winona chuckled. “Oh, Jimmy, don’t worry. Sarek’s a very nice man, but--” She worried her lower lip. “I already have someone and we’re fairly serious--”

Jim raised a hand to stop her. “Mom, I honestly don’t want to know.”

She opened her mouth to argue when the sound of the door opening caught her attention. Peeking her head around the corner her eyes widened and she gasped in surprise when her gaze locked on their newest arrival’s.

“Se--I mean, Captain, what are you doing here?”

Jim sucked in a sharp breath as he came face to face with the man he presumed to be his mother’s ‘someone serious’.

The man smiled and shook his head, brushing his lips against hers. “How many times...it’s Seth off duty, Wy.”

Seth’s gaze looked with Jim’s and he nodded in greeting. “Captain Kirk.”

A tense silence filled the room as Jim strode toward the door. His gaze narrowed slightly before he extended his hand. “I prefer Jim off duty.”

The man relaxed, his smile returning as he grasped Jim’s hand. “Jim it is.”

“With respect, sir,” Jim began. “If you break her heart, I’ll break every bone in your body.”

A deep flush stole into Winona’s cheeks. “Jim,” she chastised.

“I’d expect no less,” Seth replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sa-mekh is 'father' in Vulcan.  
> Sa-fu is 'son' in Vulcan.  
> Ko-fu is 'daughter' in Vulcan.  
> Mhibu is 'dear one' in Swahili.  
> Mpenzi is 'love', 'lover' or 'boyfriend/girlfriend' in Swahili.


	22. Chapter 22

This was fast becoming one of the largest holiday gatherings in Kirk family history. Even when his grandparents had still been alive, he couldn’t remember this many people in the small space. In fact, Mom had insisted on moving the gathering to the yard at one side of the house, which was protected by a temperature-controlled enclosed dome that remained untouched by the elements. Instead of the usual plastic tables and chairs, a set of wicker chairs, ottomans and side tables formed a rectangular space around a round stone-covered fire pit.

He, Nyota and Spock each took a mug of hot chocolate from the nearby outdoor counter (Spock’s and Sarek’s, of course, made with soy) and made themselves comfortable one of the three-seaters. McCoy, without hesitation, mixed bourbon from his personal flask and offered it to Jim, who did the same, earning him an eyeroll from Nyota. Jim paused, offering the flask to Spock. The half-Vulcan arched an eyebrow thoughtfully, hesitating only a moment before indulging in a generous pour of the amber liquid himself. By the time the flask was returned to McCoy empty, all of the men had indulged, if only a little.

Jim grinned, raising his mug, “We may not all be related by blood, but I consider each and every one of you my family. Come hell or highwater, we see each other through.”

“Hear, hear!” McCoy chimed in enthusiastically, several others echoing the sentiment.

Winona soon broke out a bottle of whiskey to supplement McCoy’s empty flask. Within an hour, the more inebriated of the group were singing Christmas carols, fueled by the continuous supply of authentic alcohol. Even Spock, normally more reserved, had removed his bondmate’s gift from it’s case, providing a melody for the lyrics.

The sun had long since set and their parents had long since gone to bed, leaving Jim with Nyota, Spock, George, Aurelan, Jaali, Penda, Christine and McCoy underneath the night sky, the latter of whom was laughing openly. Normally, McCoy was a surly drunk; but for whatever reason, tonight he couldn’t stop grinning, even as he goaded Jim into joining him in what he called their Christmas tradition.

“When you get enough liquor in him, he’ll get up on a stage and sing the whole crowd to tears,” McCoy slurred. “Init that right, Jimmy boy?”

Jim blushed. “All right, all right. If you’ll shut up, I’ll sing.”

McCoy smirked, then began humming the tune, indicating to Spock that he should replicate the melody with his lyre. Spock did so with a slight smile turning up the corners of his lips as he looked to Jim to begin singing.

“By now in New York City,” Jim began in a soulful baritone, a slight twang ringing in his voice. “There’s snow on the ground. And out in California, the sunshine’s fallin’ down.”

Everyone watched, entranced. The bond communicated his bondmates’ amazement, desire and love. He smirked, getting braver as he reached for the upper octaves, belting as loud as he dared with a houseful of people asleep not far away.

“And in Atlanta, Georgia, there’s peace on Earth tonight. Christmas in Dixie, it's snowing in the pines. Merry Christmas from Dixie to everyone tonight.”

He entwined his fingers with Nyota’s, laying his free hand on Spock’s knee as he deepened the twang more, fueled by liquid courage. McCoy joined him for a verse, but stayed in the background. At last, he reached the final verse.

“Christmas in Dixie, it's snowing in the pines. Merry Christmas from Dixie, to everyone tonight. And from Fort Payne, Alabama and Riverside, Iowa,” he winked, drawing a laugh from the others. “Merry Christmas tonight.”

As the last note faded into the night, much to Jim’s embarrassment, everyone clapped loudly and McCoy whistled.

“Nyota is quite vocally gifted as well,” Spock slurred, his eyes alight with mischief.

Jim raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Is that so? Please, Nyota, share with the rest of the group.”

A brilliant flush crept into her cheeks even as she glared at Spock, who arched an eyebrow in an expression meant to be innocence. She released a heavy breath before nodding at Spock. Without hesitation, he began plucking a familiar rhythm.

“Oh ho-ly night,” she began tentatively. “The stars are bright-ly shin-ing. It is the night of our dear Sav-iour’s birth.”

The smirk disappeared from Jim’s face and he swallowed roughly, focusing every ounce of his energy on not getting hard from the perfectly pitched sweetness of his bondmate’s contralto tones as she moved through the various registers with smooth ease.

“Fall on your knees, Oh hear the an-gel voi-ces, Oh night di-vine,” she crooned. “Oh night di-vine. Oh night when Christ was born. Oh night di-vine. Oh night di-vine!”

Jim licked his lips subconsciously as the final note left her lips as scarcely a whisper. When she noticed Jim’s stare, the flush returned.

“Beautiful,” he murmured, brushing his lips against hers.

The beautiful melody of the lyre filled the air once more and Jim smiled, slipping his arm around Nyota’s waist, encouraging her to lay on him even as he grasped Spock’s shoulder with his free hand.

Jim slipped easily into the first verse. “Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Let your heart be light. From now on our troubles will be out of sight.”

Vibrating with the warmth and comfort of her bondmates’ love, Nyota joined him in the second verse even as Spock’s melodious baritone thrummed in the background. A glance at the others in the group and they joined in, filling Jim with a peace that he doubted would ever be surpassed. The perfection of the moment caused his throat to tighten with emotion and a single tear trailed down his cheek as the last note rang in the air.

#  #  #

He awoke not several hours later, guessing the time to be about 0600, filled with a nearly uncontainable excitement. “Spock, Nyota, wake up!” he urged. “It’s Christmas!”

Nyota, however, only snuggled further into him and Spock’s grip around his waist tightened slightly. But Jim couldn’t be soothed back to sleep. Adrenaline rushed through his veins despite the slight throbbing of his head, the remnants of last night’s drinking binge.

“Wake up!” he whined.

“Jim,” Spock murmured sleepily. “If you don’t desist in your efforts to extricate us from bed at this early hour, I fear you won’t have any functioning limbs with which to ascend the stairs.”

Jim pouted. “Please? It’s Christmas. The one day of the year when EVERYBODY gets up WAAYYY too early just to open presents.”

Conceding to his bondmate’s wishes, Spock sighed. “As you wish, my Jim.”

Nyota groaned. “Seriously?”

“Isn’t there any way I can persuade you?” Jim purred, leaving a trail of kisses down her neck.

Shivering, she sighed. “Not fair. You know that’s my weak spot.”

He sucked gently at the skin and she moaned softly. “That’s kinda the point,” he rasped. “Please, honey? I promise the most amazing sex of your life later if you do.”

She conceded with an irritated sigh. “This better be good, Kirk,” she grumbled, sliding out of bed to don a silky robe.

Jim practically shoved them down the stairs in his excitement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For an actual video of Chris Pine singing, visit the link below. This will give you an idea for the sound of Jim's voice.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gd_W9ONihDQ
> 
> Soooo amazing!!!


	23. Chapter 23

Jim didn’t miss Spock’s wince as Peter came screaming into the room, way too energetic for this hour and he grimaced in sympathy, his own temples throbbing mercilessly.

“Headache?” McCoy asked.

Both nodded and before either could object, they each had a hypo slammed into their necks. Jim jumped, rubbing the spot while glaring at his friend. “Damn it, Bones, would you stop doing that?!”

McCoy grinned wryly. “You’ll thank me later,” he replied flippantly.

Within a half hour, Jim was sitting on the couch with a cup of hot, strong coffee in his hands. Between McCoy’s hangover cure and the bitter taste of the brew, his headache was quickly fading and he was actually beginning to feel Human again. Spock arched an eyebrow when he expressed this out loud and Jim chuckled, knowing that the Vulcan understood the euphemism more than he cared to admit.

When the doorbell rang, Jim sighed, relieved that the loud noise didn’t restart the merciless pounding of his headache. Mom opened the door to reveal McCoy’s daughter Joanna. As she entered the living room, Jim’s eyes widened slightly at the sight of her. Had it really been three years since he’d last seen her? At 18, she’d blossomed into a beautiful young woman sure to have McCoy beating the boys off with a stick. True, he was nearly 12 years her senior; but Jim Kirk had never been one to pass up an opportunity to admire a woman’s beauty.

Her greeting of “Jim” surprised him, as she’d fondly referred to him as “Uncle Jim” for the six years of his friendship with McCoy. He noted the subtle batting of her eyes and the subconscious way her gaze would flicker to his lips. The way that she shifted toward him, consistently keeping her body open to him revealed with certainty that she was flirting with him. At that point, McCoy made introductions.

“Sitting on either side of Jim are his partners Spock and Uhura,” McCoy continued, his gaze locking briefly with Jim’s.

Jim fought a sigh of relief at the slight disappointment in Joanna’s eyes and the immediate halt this revelation seemed to bring to her flirting. Even if he hadn’t been with Spock and Nyota, he was way too old for her. He had standards, after all, and one of them was to leave innocent young women the hell alone. Besides, McCoy would have flayed him alive with relish if he’d dared to fool around with her that way.

“Good to see you again, Jo,” he offered with a kind, yet guarded smile.

Despite the discouragement that McCoy introducing Spock and Nyota as his partners seemed to provide, he didn’t want to encourage her further by being too flirtatious himself. It was a habit that had gotten him into trouble too many times in the past. Neutral body posture and tone was the best way to drive the point home: ‘You’re attractive, but I’m not interested’.

Her features softened instantly and she returned the same smile. “You, too, Uncle Jim.”

Part of him grimaced, being called ‘Uncle’ by an 18 year old making him feel old. It happened to every man at some point in his life, he knew. In six months, he was going to have to man up whether he liked it or not and it really was for the best that he started that transition now.

“Now that everyone’s here,” Winona urged. “Jimmy, why don’t you and Spock help hand out the gifts while I get the camera?”

Nyota made to stand, but Winona shook her head. “You just relax, honey. The boys can handle it. Besides, it’s best to enjoy the chance while you can. When those babies come, Lord knows you won’t get a good night’s sleep for at least three months if you’re lucky. Jimmy didn’t sleep through the night until he was nearly nine months old. Kept trying to swaddle him, but he always got free. He just refused to be put down. I can’t tell you how many times I fell asleep on the couch holding him.”

Several moments later, the holocamera was recording as everyone opened their gifts and she would occasionally snap a photo from the video. Most of the attention was focused on Peter, but Joanna had her fair share of time, too. Jim supposed Mom was doing it mostly for Bones to have the memories.

An hour later, everyone had opened their gifts. He was surprised at the number of them he’d gotten, used to only the two or three of his childhood.  Even Sarek had indulged in the tradition, gifting him and Nyota each with a copy of _The Teachings of Surak, Revised Edition_. He managed to read the first dozen pages before breakfast and had found it to be very enlightening. With plans to read further before bed that night, he marked his page and joined the others for a good old-fashioned country breakfast complete with grits, potatoes, eggs, bacon, sausage, toast, ham and just about every other dish imaginable.

This morning, Mom didn’t even bother with the oatmeal with Spock, instead skipping straight to waffles with fruit on top. Spock indulged in a meager amount of maple syrup and followed every other bite with a sip of the soy milk that Mom had poured for him. To say that Jim was surprised was an understatement. Other than the whiskey and bourbon Spock had had last night, he’d never seen Spock drink anything but water with meals.

As the afternoon wore on, Chekov, Sulu, Scotty and even Keenser stopped by to indulge in eggnog (spiked, of course, with McCoy’s favorite bourbon) and to share embarrassing stories and to, in general, tease Jim about his numerous mishaps over the years with alien woman.

Joanna even caught a blushing Chekov under the mistletoe. Jim laughed himself to tears as the kid’s face reddened even further at Joanna’s murmured, “You’re cute. Are you seeing anyone?” McCoy had glared at him hard as he stammered a response and bolted from the room.

At one point, Scotty produced a delicately wrapped package that he handed to Jim. “The senior crew pitched in, sir,” Scotty explained. “We opted for simple.”

Jim enthusiastically removed the wrapping, sucking in a sharp breath at the beautiful antique cherry wood frame he held in his hands. “This is amazing. Thanks everyone.” He paused. “And I think I know what photo to put in it.”

Moments later, the entire senior crew was assembled under the outdoor dome as Winona snapped the photo.


	24. Chapter 24

At least they’d been decent enough to send him the reminder of his role in Dookal’s trial the day after Christmas. But that didn’t stop the nightmares from interrupting his sleep that night. He awoke to find the comforter and sheets on the floor with his lovers hovering above him, offering him comfort through the bond. Gradually, the vivid scenes of the dream began to fade even as the tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Shh,” Nyota soothed. “It was just a dream, Jim. You’re okay. We’re right here.”

In that moment, the walls Jim had worked so hard to build came crashing down around him and every emotion the nightmare had evoked flooded the bond. Spock and Nyota sucked in a sharp breath at the overwhelming wave of emotions crashing against their own mental shields.

“It was so real,” Jim choked. “And it hurt so much. Why wouldn’t he stop? Couldn’t he tell that I didn’t understand him?”

Spock paused. “It grieves me to see you in such pain, th’y’la,” he murmured. “If you wish it, I could temporarily suppress the memories so you aren’t forced to relive them until the trial.”

Pained blue eyes met Spock’s. “Like last time, you mean?”

“Yes. However, I won’t repeat the error of doing so without your express permission,” he insisted. “My intrusion into your mind was unethical and shameful. Had I committed such an offense on Vulcan, I would have been exiled. It is one of our highest laws and to commit such an act is unforgivable.”

Jim swallowed roughly. “Do it. Please.”

Releasing a heavy sigh, Spock laid the tips of his fingers along the psi points. Jim’s eyes slid slowly closed and he gasped in surprise when the connection was at last made.

“Spock--”

“Nam’uh hayal, th’y’la.” Spock whispered. “Nahp hif-bi tu throks.” His brow furrowed, his features taut. “Release the memories. I will return them to you when you ask.” Jim relaxed and within moments, Spock removed his hand. “It is done. How do you feel?”

A sigh slid past Jim’s lips. “Much better. Thanks.”

“Sleep, my Jim. Don’t linger on these emotions. They will pass.”

Nodding, Jim turned onto his side and wrapped his arms around Spock, laying his head on his chest. Nyota settled in behind Jim, her fingers running soothingly through Jim’s hair as she softly sang a Swahili lullaby. Gradually, he drifted back to sleep, a languid smile crossing his lips.

“Love you,” he murmured.

Nyota smiled, pressing a kiss to his temple. “And we love you, mpenzi. Always.”

#  #  #

He awoke the next morning to find Nyota in his arms, her ass pressed tightly against his rock-hard cock. The sunlight peeked through the curtain, casting an enticing glow over her naked form. Nuzzling her neck, he placed tender kisses along it even as his hand slid upwards from her waist and grasped her supple breasts. Where they normal fit perfectly in his large hands, he found that they now spilled over.

His eyes roamed over her body he couldn’t help the way his heart rate increased at the new softness of her hips and the slight roundness of her abdomen. Something primal stirred in him as these changes to her body reminded him that the children she carried were a part of him, a rush of satisfaction and pride coursing through him, leading to his cock twitching against her ass as this inevitably made him think of burying his arousal in her hot, tight sheath over and over again until she couldn’t remember her own name.

He heard her gasp and smirked as he felt the presence of her mind stroking his. His hand slid from her breast to her abdomen, cradling it. “You look so beautiful carrying our children,” he murmured. “So fucking gorgeous.”

Her breath hitched as she laid her hand on top of his, grinding her ass against his arousal. “Oh, God, yes,” she moaned.

“Fuck, I could come just from the sight of you,” he rasps, licking his lips.

She whimpered, fighting to keep reasonably quiet. “Oh, yes, please. God, Jim, please.”

He buried his face in her throat, smothering the growl that escaped. “Please what?” he demanded.

She exhaled sharply, arching into his mouth as he nipped at the skin of her throat. “Please fuck me,” came her urgently whispered plea.

“How do you want it, honey?” he purrs. “Do you want to ride me or do you want me to take you from behind?”

She moans softly. “Behind. Oh please, mpenzi. Please. Behind.”

He panted against her neck as his hand slid between her legs, teasing the nub of her clit before slipping two fingers inside of her. His eyes rolled back into his head and he grunted as the scorching heat of her wet, tight channel convulsed around his fingers.

“So fucking wet, baby,” he slurs. “Oh, God, I wanna fuck you until you scream.”

She bit her lip, fighting back a moan. “God, yes. Need your cock in me, Jim. Fuck, need you so much.”

Drawing in a deep breath, Jim positioned her on the bed and grasped his arousal, teasing her entrance with the head. She gasped, thrusting back against him, begging for more. A surge of need slammed into him and he shoved hard inside of her, the double sensation nearly making him come on the spot. Quivering, he fought against the instinct to repeat the action and stayed inside of her because if either of them moved, this was going to be over before it even started.

Her breathing came out in harsh pants as she urged him to move, grinding back against him. “Don’t stop,” she murmured urgently. “Please, don’t stop.”

He gritted his teeth as he fought against the desire to take her hard and fast. Muffling a groan against her shoulder, he gradually picked up his pace until, despite his best efforts, he was slamming into her, fucking her like a stallion in heat. He palmed her breast, pinching the nipple and she arched into his touch with a soft keening moan.

“So close,” she whimpered. “God, I’m gonna--”

Her body arched sharply and her features froze in a silent scream as her orgasm overtook her, the clenching of her walls around his cock dragging Jim over the edge not too long after, grunting and breathing her name into the skin of her shoulder as he emptied inside of her. They both came down slowly, struggling for breath even as minute aftershocks zinged through their veins.

“Holy shit,” he gasped.

She laughed softly. “Good morning to you, too, love.”

Jim glanced at Spock, grinning. “I know you’re awake. I can feel you in my head.”

Spock’s eyes snapped open and Jim sucked in a sharp breath at the lust filling them. “I believe it’s my turn,” he whispered, covering Jim’s mouth with his own.

#  #  #

Jim was almost convinced that someone had heard them. He wasn’t exactly quiet when Spock was fucking him, even crying out his lover’s name a couple of times as the half-Vulcan pressed Jim’s raised legs against his chest, pounding into him hard and fast. Jim’s hands had woven into Spock’s hair, moaning into their kiss as each thrust brushed Jim’s prostate and Nyota’s mouth worked at his weeping cock. He flushed a brilliant red at the memory. The light touch of Spock’s fingers caressing his made him gasp in surprise.

 _Unless you wish for me to drag you back to bed and repeat my actions from earlier_ , Spock murmured. _I would suggest you control your thoughts._

Jim stifled a groan. _Fuck! Don’t tease me like that!_

Something was seriously wrong with him. Even with his family talking around him, all he could think about was devouring Spock’s cock right here on the couch for the world to see. His partner’s eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared in warning.

 _I’m sorry_ , he gasped. _I can’t help it. I swear to God the two of you have turned me into a fucking nympho._

He turned to see the same lust reflected in Nyota’s gaze. _Stop thinking about sex!_ she growled.

Unable to sit still any longer, Jim stood abruptly and bolted up the stairs, leaving everyone staring after him, confused.

#  #  #

He shuddered as the the cold water hit his skin and he tensed up for a moment before the chill drove away his lusty thoughts. Feeling significantly more relaxed, he toweled off, re-dressed and headed back downstairs.

#  #  #

Dinner consisted mostly of leftovers from Christmas supper. Jim fixed himself a pork roast sandwich adding several hefty spoonfuls each of green bean casserole and corn au gratin on the side along with a couple of large slices of cornbread and a small bowl of cinnamon apples. Starved beyond reason, he shoveled the food down, barely pausing to breathe, earning him a curious look from Spock and a disgusted look from Nyota. He grinned sheepishly, chewing his current bite thoroughly before swallowing, then slowing his pace with the rest of his meal.

When at last he’d swallowed his final bite, he paused. “I checked the entertainment feeds and _The Godfather_ is playing at the theater in Cedar Rapids. I thought it would be nice to get out of the house and go on a date like normal people.”

Nyota’s brow furrowed. “ _The Godfather_?”

Jim gaped. “Seriously? You’ve _never_ seen it? Damn, now we _have_ to go.”

Hesitating only a moment, Spock inclined his head. “When will the film be playing?”

“I figured we could go to the 1900 hours showing so we’d have time to grab a bite before.”

Nyota smiled. “Sounds good to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nam’uh hayal, th’y’la.--Vulcan, means "Calm yourself/Be calm, love.
> 
> Nahp hif-bi tu throks.--Vulcan, means "Give me your thoughts." or "Your thoughts, give them to me."


	25. Chapter 25

The remaining days of the holidays passed quickly and before Jim could blink, he was kissing his bondmates after midnight, heralding in a new year full of promise and potential. By this time next year, he’d be celebrating with his partners and their children. The thought was still so foreign to him. He was going to be a father. Until it had happened, he’d never really much considered having a family. He’d always been married to his ship and the few women he could contemplate a future with had remained just beyond his reach.

“Earth to Kirk, come in Kirk.”

He started, the sound of Nyota talking drawing him out of his thoughts, and he smiled sheepishly. “Sorry. My mind was somewhere else. What were you saying?”

“I said Spock and I are going to bed,” she repeated. “Are you going to join us or were you wanting to stay up a bit longer?”

He grinned, setting his glass down, slipping his arms around Nyota’s waist. “I hope you weren’t planning to sleep much tonight,” he murmured. “There’s so many better things we could be doing in that bed than sleeping.”

She laughed. “You’re insatiable.”

“When it comes to you and Spock,” he teased. “Always.”

#  #  #

Jim stared out the window of the hovercab that was taking him to the temporary quarters Starfleet had assigned him. He would remain in them for short time leading up to his testimony against Dookal. As much as he wished Spock and Nyota could stay with him, he was under strict no contact orders until he submitted an official statement via video feed, which would thankfully occur in less than 24 hours.

It had been a relief to hear that he wouldn’t have to actually be present when he made the accusations against Dookal, the small concession offering him a measure of comfort in the sea of turmoil that was currently his life. He would just be glad when this whole mess was over with.

The amulet his bondmates had given him for Christmas hung about his neck and he grasped it tightly, grinning. His eyes slid closed and all of his barriers came tumbling down as he focused on the love he felt for Spock, Nyota and their children. Impossibly, he felt the faint, yet familiar brush of their minds against his. He allowed their love to fill him.

 _I miss you both,_ he murmured. _I wish you were here._

 _As do we, ashal-vek_ , came Spock’s soothing reply.

A rush of comfort touched him through the bond. _It won’t be long, Jim. Just give your statement, answer their questions and we can be together soon._

Jim opened his eyes, surprised to find that he’d arrived already. He threw his duffel over his shoulder and paid the cab fare, tipping the driver a couple of extra credit chits, before he entered the building code and ascended the stairs.

#  #  #

The evening passed slowly, and with no good entertainment on the feeds, he was forced to resort to browsing the news feeds. He grimaced as the stories only grew more depressing and morbid. It was a wonder people didn’t up and kill themselves with all the negativity in the media.

He ordered supper from the food synthesizer, but quickly realized that he wasn’t truly hungry. The combination of nerves and boredom was enough to make his stomach churn with unease without a single thing to occupy him. Upon further exploration of his temporary living space, he found several machines set up in another room to form a makeshift gym.

With nothing better to do, he cranked the speed of the treadmill up to 7.2 kph with an incline of 2. After a half-hour, he wiped the sweat from his face, neck and arms before beginning his typical series of core and resistance exercises, starting with sit-ups and finishing with a round or two with the punching bag. His strikes were quick and decisive, the force of each setting the bag in motion. He even practiced a few combinations without the bag, imagining the impact on his opponent, picturing the final takedown.

Worn down, he took a cool shower and toweled off, slipping into his bottoms before climbing into bed. However, even the calming effect of exercise couldn’t keep the nightmares at bay. He woke up several times throughout the night, tangled in his sheets, his skin covered in a fine sheen of sweat as he struggled to catch his breath.

Sighing in resignation, he slid from under the covers and picked up a PADD, once again checking the entertainment feeds. Still nothing. With nothing else to do, he did some research on Vulcan traditions and culture. Granted, there wasn’t much that he hadn’t already read; but he figured as the father-to-be of two part Vulcan children, he ought to brush up on the basics. As the Vulcan saying went, infinite diversity in infinite combinations.

Invariably, his research only made him think more of his bondmates. He re-lived several of his favorites of their sexual encounters in his eidetic memory, which inevitably led to him stroking his cock to the tune of their moans, sighs and whimpers in his memories. He came moments later with his seed spilling all over his hand. Gasping for breath, he felt the walls beginning to close in. And it was barely 0400.

#  #  #

Miraculously, he survived the night of boredom, all but crying out in relief when the morning sun peaked through the glass windows. He ordered a cup of strong, black coffee before jumping into the shower again and readying himself as though he was actually attending the trial. It had been made very clear to him that although he wasn’t require to be physically present for his testimony, he was to conduct himself in the manner his rank warranted, which meant adhering to dress code.

He straightened the high collar of his black dress uniform, then slicked his hair back with a regulation gel. Satisfied with his appearance, Jim moved into the living area and made himself comfortable in the chair at the desk provided for him, then entered a series of commands that would connect him with the camera in the room where the trial was being held. The room was deliberately set up so that he didn’t have a direct view of Dookal and wouldn’t unless he or someone in the courtroom redirected the camera.

“Do you swear under penalty of court-martial that everything you are about to reveal is the entire truth and nothing but?” the prosecuting officer asked.

Jim nodded. “I do, sir.”

The officer inclined his head. “Please state your full name and rank for the record.”

“Captain James Tiberius Kirk, sir.”

Another nod. “Very well, Captain Kirk. Please describe in detail the events of your kidnapping and subsequent torture.”

His throat tight, Jim described everything he could remember about his time as Dookal’s prisoner, including, to his humiliation, his rape. He somehow managed to maintain his composure throughout, though he was re-living every memory vividly as though he were there again.

“Thank you, Captain,” the officer acknowledged. “I know how difficult it must have been for you to share your experience.”

The officer asked a few more probing questions before handing the proceedings over to Dookal’s representative. He stiffened, expecting the man to question every detail of his story, to cast doubt on the portions that were still hazy to Jim himself. What he hadn’t expected was the man’s first and final words.

“Your honor, I move to have all charges against my client dropped and that he be allowed to return home without fear of further persecution.”

Jim gaped and such a ruckus arose in the room that he could barely hear the judge’s calls for order over the din. “If order isn’t restored, I’ll have the courtroom cleared of any and all unnecessary personnel.”

Gradually the noise died and attention focused on the prosecuting officer, who looked positively on edge as he ventured, “On what grounds?”

“The evidence you have connecting my client to these accusations is circumstantial at best,” he replied flippantly. “And your key witness has had his memories tampered with, so he’s hardly a reliable source on information on the events that occurred.”

The prosecuting officer’s gaze bore into his. “Is this true, Captain?”

Jim sucked in a sharp breath. Spock’s memory suppression techniques. “Sir, in an effort to protect me from the trauma I endured over the course of my kidnapping, my First Officer suppressed the more violent of the memories temporarily.”

The audiences loud whispers were like screams.

“Counsel, in my chambers now,” the judge ground out. “We’ll take a brief recess while I determine if the prosecution has enough solid evidence to continue and whether the court will allow Mr. Kirk’s testimony given this new information.”

The screen went suddenly black, leaving Jim staring at it blankly, his heart racing in his chest.


	26. Chapter 26

After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, the feed reappeared on the monitor. The intense whispers in the courtroom again threatened to get out of control as the judge and the counselors retook their places. This time when the judge called for order, the room fell suddenly silent. Jim felt his heart ramming against his ribcage as he waited for the judge’s verdict.

“It is the decision of this court,” he began. “That the prosecution be given the opportunity to provide scientific evidence to disprove the statement put forth by the defense. Should the prosecution fail to produce a convincing witness, Mr. Kirk’s testimony will be disregarded. As to the other evidence provided by the prosecution, I can see no cause not to allow it. It was obtained through legal means and stands as such.” The judge then turned to the prosecuting officer. “Produce your witness.”

The prosecuting officer frowned and leaned over, whispering something into his colleague’s ear. A moment later, he turned to the judge. “Sir, our witness is currently in meditation on New Vulcan. We request a reasonable amount of time for her transport here.”

The judge nodded. “Very well. The prosecution has 72 hours to produce the witness or Mr. Kirk’s testimony will be disregarded and all charges will be dropped. So ordered.”

Again, the screen went blank.

 _Well, hell. Who could they be aiming to get here that fast?_ It wasn’t Spock’s older self, as the prosecutor had specifically said she. Jim frowned. Whoever it was, he hoped they hurried.

#  #  #

He answered the doorchime later that day, having changed back out of his formal uniform and into his sweatpants, surprised to find Nyota on the other side of the sliding doors. Without a word, she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He wound his arms around her, her familiar comforting scent invading his senses. Through the bond, he felt her guilt and her anger at herself for what she’d done.

 _You were just trying to protect me_ , he soothed.

Tears gathered in her eyes. _But because of me, Dookal might get away with what he did to you._

_That’s not going to happen. They’ll find a way._

"It’s so good to see you," he murmured. "God, I’ve been going crazy here." Frowning, he asked, "Where’s Spock?"

Nyota pulled back, cradling his face in her hands and smiling wanly. "With any luck, halfway to New Vulcan by now."

"They sent Enterprise?"

A twinge of longing twisted his stomach. It was his ship, damn it. He should be with his crew.

Nyota leaned her forehead against his and nodded. "I know, but since you’re the key witness, they didn’t want to risk Dookal’s attorney accusing Starfleet of rigging the trial."

"And they won’t if my bondmate leads the charge to pick up and possibly tamper with whatever expert witness the prosecution has dug up?"

Nyota frowned. "Firstly, they don’t know about our bond. Secondly, do you honestly think Spock would do that?"

Jim sighed and ran shaky hands through his hair. “Of course not. I--” He closed his eyes. “I’m sorry, Ny. I just--It’s my duty to protect them. I should be on the bridge of that ship.”

“Shh,” she soothed. “Everything’s going to be fine. If it was anybody else--but it’s Spock.”

Nodding, Jim brushed his lips against hers. “Distract me from all of this,” he begged. “Please. Before I lose my mind.”

She increased the pressure of her lips against his and he pulled her tighter into him, a moan escaped the kiss when she felt his arousal pressed into the vee of her thighs.

“Take me to bed, mpenza,” she whispered.

Grinning, he swept her into his arms bride-over-the-threshold style and his mouth covered hers as he carried her to the bedroom.

#  #  #

He brushed his the back of his hand against her cheek, his hand then sliding slowly down to lay on her abdomen. She smiled, the beauty of it momentarily stealing his breath. He’d never really understood the expression bedroom eyes until this moment with this gorgeous angel laying in his arms as she looked at him through half-open eyes, her skin literally glowing, enticingly warm beneath his hands. Under any other circumstances, he would have asked her to marry him that very moment. But it didn’t seem right with Spock gone. He wanted both of them so he could wait to ask them both.

“What time is it?” Nyota hummed, stretching.

Jim glanced at the chronometer and his eyes widened, leaning closer to be sure he was reading it right. “Wow. It’s 1842 hours.”

She laughed. “Doesn’t surprise me,” she joked. “Making love with you always scatters my brain cells and kills any sense of time.”

He chuckled. “Well, I don’t know about you, honey, but I’m starving. There’s a little chinese place around the corner that looked good.”

“Which means we’ll have to get dressed and act like normal people,” she teased. “Think you can keep your hands to yourself long enough?”

Nuzzling her neck, he murmured, “No promises. Might have to take you on the table in the restaurant.”

She shivered. “You really want to share the view with a bunch of strangers?”

A possessive growl slipped past his lips as he brushed them against hers. “Who said anything about sharing?”

#  #  #

Somehow, they managed to get dressed, walk to the restaurant and place their orders, which they sat at a booth in the corner waiting on. He sipped on a cup of chamomile tea, arching an eyebrow at the smile that slid across her lips.

“They don’t serve coffee,” he protested. “And this stuff really isn’t that bad with a bit of honey. Besides, it relaxes me.”

She shook her head. “It’s not that. You just--you seem different. More grounded.”

“I have you and Spock to thank for that,” he grinned. “You’ve given me the one thing I thought I’d never have--a family. It’s kind of comforting to know that no matter what happens, I have you both.”

Smiling, she offered, “Life is funny that way. So often, you don’t know what you’re missing and it turns out it was right in front of you the whole time.”


	27. Chapter 27

He sighed, listening to the sound of the raindrops from a late afternoon storm pelting the window and the roof as he stroked his hands through Nyota’s hair. She laid half on top of him, the sheet twisted around her waist as she slept after their latest round of lovemaking. He could tell that she missed Spock. Honestly, he did, too. He hadn’t been away from either of them for this long since before his kidnapping.

Despite the comfort of having Nyota with him, he felt Spock’s absence keenly, his presence in their bond diminished by the distance. It was like having a broken arm. Sure, it was temporary and would be back to normal in no time; but you didn’t realize how much you took it for granted until you were without it.

The same could be said of their bond with Spock. He was so used to having Spock close enough that it took almost no effort to know what he was thinking. His throat tightened and he felt a stab of longing, wanting desperately to kiss and hold Spock close to him. At least he had Nyota. His heart ached as he imagined how alone Spock must feel with neither of them nearby to offer him comfort. Nyota stirred next to him, drawing him from his thoughts.

“Sorry,” he murmured. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay. I was awake.”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I can’t stand this,” he choked. “Being away from either of you. It’s been only a couple of days and I should be enjoying being here with you, but all I can think about is Spock.”

“Me, too,” she admitted. “But he’s due back this afternoon. It won’t be long.”

He exhaled heavily, stretching. “Do you want to order in and see if there’s anything on the entertainment feed?”

“Okay,” she agreed. “What do feel like?”

Shrugging, he grabbed a PADD from the nightstand doing a quick search for nearby restaurants that delivered and grimaced. “Mostly pizza. If you want, I can go to the cafe around the corner and bring us back a couple of sandwiches.”

“Jim Kirk? Health conscious?” she teased. “I seem to remember you heaping your plate with several servings of sweet corn casserole.”

He grinned wryly. “Yeah. I only eat like that when I’m home,” he muttered. “And I always regret it. It takes a lot of extra hours in the gym to burn off the calories and I always end up feeling sluggish.” He pulled up the menu for the little cafe for her to study while he searched for his clothes. “They have some good soups, too.”

Several moments later, he was putting on his jacket and opening an umbrella as he stepped outside into the pouring rain. The little cafe was only a short walk away but, having been cooped up in that apartment for nearly three days, it was nice to get some fresh air. No matter how many modifications they tried to make to the oxygen recyclers on Enterprise, nothing could quite come close to the crisp purity of planetside air.

He reached the cafe and pushed his way inside, the little bell above the door tinkling in greeting. Folding up the umbrella, he approached the counter, the barista he recognized from his regular visits as Kathy smiling.

“Well hey there, stranger,” she joked. “It’s been awhile since we’ve seen you in here.”

He chuckled. “Downside of being a starship captain, I suppose. How’s Emily?”

“She’s doing good,” Kathy offered. “She started kindergarten this year.”

“Did you have to stay with her long on her first day?”

Kathy shook her head. “Surprisingly, no. She took to it like a fish to water. What about you, Jimmy? How’ve you been?”

He ducked his head, hiding a grin. “Not bad. Been keeping busy.”

She laid a hand gently on top of his. “I was sad to hear what happened,” she whispered. “Whole thing is nonsense if you ask me.”

He paused. “I can’t really talk about it.”

“I understand,” she offered with a smile. “So who is she?”

He tried to look innocent. “Who’s who?”

She arched an eyebrow disbelievingly. “Don’t think I didn’t see that coy look you gave me. There’s only one thing that gives a man that look and it’s a woman. Tell me about her.”

He cleared his throat. “Do you remember when I told you about First Officer and my Communications Officer?”

“Of course,” she replied. “You talked about them non-stop. Still do as a matter of f--” She froze and her eyes widened. “No!”

He grinned and nodded. “We’ve got two little ones on the way due in June.”

She practically squealed with excitement. “Oh! Congratulations! That’s so exciting! Promise me you’ll bring them by when you get the chance? Your partners and the babies, too, of course.”

He nodded, then ordered two smoked salmon half-sandwich and lobster bisque soup combos.

“Did you want a cup of coffee, too?” she asked.

He shook his head. “Been trying to cut back. Maybe a couple of hot chocolates?”

She added it to the order. “I assume you want it to go?”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Thanks, Kathy.”

“No problem, Sweetie,” she smiled. “We’ll call you up when it’s ready.”

 

#  #  #

He re-entered the apartment with a drink carrier and a couple of to-go bags, stopping suddenly as his gaze fell on Nyota stretched out on the couch. The skin-tight shirt that she wore riding up to reveal her round abdomen. He nearly dropped what he was carrying at the sight.

“We’re going to have to talk to the quartermaster about modifying your uniforms,” he murmured. “If you go around the ship like that, nobody, including Spock and I, is going to get any work done.”

She frowned. “I know. I look like a cow.”

Jim raised an eyebrow. “You know that’s not what I meant.” At her furrowed brow, he slipped their dinner into the refrigerator and slid onto the couch beside her, taking her hand in his. “Let me show you what I see.”

She jumped slightly when she felt his mind brush against hers, but lowered her mental shields to allow him inside and gasped at the images he communicated to her. She looked sexy.

 _You’re not fat_ , he explained. _In fact, you’ve never looked more beautiful than you do right now._ He laid his hand on her abdomen. _There will never be anything more amazing to me than watching our children grow inside of you._

He lowered his lips to hers, kissing her so tenderly and so devoutly that she felt tears forming in her eyes. Within moments, their meal was forgotten as Jim lifted her into his arms and carried her into the bedroom.


	28. Chapter 28

Their late dinner was interrupted by a communique from the officer prosecuting Dookal’s case. The judge had agreed to allow their witness and the proceedings would resume tomorrow at 0900.

“I’ve convinced the judge to allow you to watch the trial via an encrypted link to your monitor, much like the one we used to present your testimony,” the prosecutor added. “As always, you are expected to conduct yourself as befitting your rank.” In other words, for his eyes only. Though he didn’t think it would hurt to have Nyota and Spock join him. “I will inform you of the verdict and the sentence as soon as I’m able. Have a pleasant evening, Captain.”

The screen went black.

“Well,” he murmured, running a hand nervously through his hair. “This is it.”

Just as he finished his soup, the sound of the door chime echoed through the small space. He grinned.

“Come in, Spock,” he called.

The doors parted and Spock entered, favoring Jim with an arched eyebrow. “How were you certain whom was at the door?”

Jim tapped his temple. “I could feel you coming a mile off.”

Spock opened his mouth, to state the illogic of Jim’s statement presumably, but shook his head seeming to think better of it. Jim stood and moved to greet him, brushing his lips against Spock’s in greeting.

“Missed you,” he murmured.

Leaning his head against Jim’s, Spock nodded. “And I you, my Jim. What I know to be merely days seemed like an eternity.” He pulled back, laying a hand on Jim’s cheek. “You appear well. I am pleased that Nyota’s company provided you with a measure of comfort in my absence. I regret the need for it; however, I would have been unable to dissuade Admiral Archer unless I were to reveal our bond. Logically, it was best to simply follow orders.”

Another teasing brush of his lips against Spock’s and he rasped, “Enough talk. Take me to bed. I want to show you just how much I missed you.”

#  #  #

He awoke fairly early the next morning, despite a late night of making love to his partners. They both slept on in the bedroom as Jim indulged in a rare cup of coffee from the food resequencer. Glancing at the chronometer, he realized he still had two hours before the trial was set to reconvene so he decided to catch up on the news feeds.

There were, of course a couple reporters speculating on the outcome of Dookal’s trial and, much to his displeasure, both brought up his name several times. Other than that, the usual stories about the opening of this restaurant or the restoration of that historical building. Noting nothing else of interest, Jim checked his inbox for messages, unsurprised to find a couple from his mother, wanting to know how he was.

The coding indicated she was back to duty so he recorded a simple message, telling her about the last three days. He replied to messages from a couple of others before answering an incoming communique from McCoy.

“Yeah,” Kirk offered with a smirk. “It was quite a reunion.”

McCoy grimaced. “Okay, okay. I really don’t need that damn picture. Lord knows it’s taken me this long to get the image of you and Spock playing tonsil hockey at New Years out of my head.”

“No worse than hearing you and Christine going at it through those paper thin walls.” He shuddered. “That’s going to take at least a dozen brainwashing sessions.”

McCoy scowled. “Don’t be a shit.”

He jumped slightly when he felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind, smiling when he realized it was only Spock. Turning his head, he brushed his lips against his lover's. “Morning, honey.”

The corners of Spock’s lips turned up slightly. “Good morning, Jim.” The half-Vulcan’s gaze lifted to the screen to find McCoy’s gaze diverted, a grimace twisting his features.. Jim could swear a slight green flush filled his lover’s cheeks when he realized whom Jim was talking to. “Doctor,” he acknowledged with a nod.

An awkward silence stretched between them before McCoy interrupted it. “I’ll see you both back on _Enterprise_. As far as that bastard, Dookal, I’d prefer they put him in the chair and crank the knobs as high as they’ll go; but with Starfleet’s no corporeal punishment policy, I suppose the best we can hope for is a life-long stay at a Penal colony with no chance of gettin’ out for good behavior.”

Jim sighed. “Yeah. Thanks, Bones. See you hopefully in a couple of days.”

#  #  #

At 0855, Jim sat down in front of his monitor with a cup of chamomile tea. Spock and Nyota joined him a few moments later, the former sipping a cup of ploomek tea while the latter indulged in a cup of hot chocolate. His free hand laid ready to key in the command to accept the transmission. A warm hand covered his and he smiled wanly at the love and warmth enveloping him. He returned the feelings of love and his gratitude for his partner’s support. A few moments later, the transmission came in and he released a heavy sigh.

“Let’s get this over with,” Jim murmured.

On the screen, the session was being called to order. “Silence, please.” The judge then turned to the prosecutor, who was standing with an older woman, and asked, “Is the witness ready to proceed?”

“Yes,” the prosecutor replied.

“Call her forward, then.”

With a nod, the prosecutor boomed, “The prosecution calls Ambassador T’Pol.”

Jim’s eyes widened. When the woman turned, he recognized her immediately, wondering why he hadn’t before. He’d seen her picture in well over a dozen Academy texts. The older Vulcan woman commanded a great deal of respect and awe, even amongst the Academy’s most distinguished instructors. She had been the first Vulcan to immerse herself entirely in Human culture, even to the degree of becoming almost Human herself.

Ambassador T’Pol strode toward the stand, settling herself into the chair with unparalleled grace for a woman of her advanced age. She inclined her head and the prosecutor swore her in. Once done, he asked her to state her full name and rank for the court.

“Ambassador T’Pol of Vulcan.”

The prosecutor inclined his head. “Thank you, Ambassador.” He studied the PADD in his hand for a few moments before meeting her gaze. “You’ve had the opportunity to study Captain Kirk’s testimony?”

“I have,” she replied.

“Please state for this tribunal the reason that you were called upon to testify.”

T’Pol arched an eyebrow. “I was asked to review Kirk’s testimony for verbal and non-verbal indications that his statement wasn’t entirely truthful or that his memories of the events had been tampered with in any way.”

“And your analysis?”

“Based on his recorded testimony, Kirk was being entirely truthful and, in fact, related the events in great detail that would not be possible in an individual whose memories had been tampered with.”

The prosecutor smiled and made a note on his PADD. “Ambassador, if would kindly explain the nature of a mind-mind.”

“Your request is broad,” she protested. “However, I will reply to the best of my abilities. A mind meld is a connection initiated with another being for multiple purposes that includes the healing of the body and mind.”

“And Commander Spock’s reason?”

T’Pol paused. “It is stated in his report that it was necessary to spare Kirk a great deal of emotional difficulty.”

“What sort of emotional difficulty?”

“It is my understanding,” she stated. “That Captain Kirk had endured significant trauma from his imprisonment that was similar to the circumstances of a childhood event that caused Kirk a great deal of pain.”

The prosecutor nodded. “And what actions specifically did the Commander perform?”

“He suppressed Kirk’s memories of the events--buried them deep within his subconscious to be revealed and reflected on at a later date.”

“Is this dangerous?”

“No. It is quite common among Vulcans and is used to protect individuals from the overpowering emotions associated with these memories. The memories are revealed in fragments, allowing the individual to better control and master their emotions regarding what has happened to them.”

“Does this procedure alter the memories at all?”

“Again, no. Though the mind can be temporarily deceived, the true memory cannot simply be removed.”

“So it is your judgement that Mr. Kirk’s memory of these events in as accurate as it can be given the time that has elapsed between the date they occurred and today?”

“Yes.”


	29. Chapter 29

The defense had questioned Ambassador T’Pol at length, obviously attempting to prove that she’d been influenced. The Ambassador, however, had remained calm and answered every permitted question thrown at her with a cool detachment that Jim had to admit he found impressive. This had obviously frustrated Dookal’s lawyer to no end and he had even had to be reminded a couple of times on the proper way to address and question an ambassador of T’Pol’s status.

The brief recess turned into a two day wait and they’d barely gotten news of the verdict the night before returning to _Enterprise_. Sentencing happened the next day long after they’d left dry dock. But, as promised, the prosecutor had sent Jim a communique with the sentence as soon as he himself knew it.

It wasn’t quite what they’d all hoped. The tribunal had been forced to disregard certain pieces of evidence due to their questionable nature. Thankfully, Jim’s statement and the Ambassador’s analysis were kept, though upon the defense’s revelation of that during her tenure with Starfleet, the Ambassador had injected often-lethal substance called Trellium D into her bloodstream, it hadn’t held nearly as much weight and had damn near shattered her credibility.

Instead of the life sentence without parole in a Penal Colony, Dookal had instead only been brought up on the charges of kidnapping and torture. The rape charges, unable to be substantiated, had been dropped, reducing Dookal’s sentence to a minimum 10 year sentence, after which time he could be granted parole for good behavior. To say Jim was angry would be an understatement.

“So when my kids are ten, there’s a chance they’ll have a crazed lunatic after them trying to get back at me,” he scowled. “That’s comforting.”

The prosecutor paused. “I’m going to pretend that the connection was garbled right there,” he muttered. “But if you say another damn word about it, I’m going to be forced to report whatever else you say to the Fleet Admiral. Given what I already suspect to be a severe breach in regulations, I don’t think you want me to do that.”

Jim’s lips tightened. “You damn well better tell me if there’s so much as a rumor that he’s getting a parole hearing.”

“Of course,” the prosecutor offered, inclining his head. “I’m sorry that we couldn’t do more.”

Sighing, Jim replied, “Me, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No worries! A sequel is in progress! It'll be called "Past Imperfect". Everyone's past catches up with them eventually.


End file.
